Transformers Prime: Can you love without trust?
by CaptainBlue56
Summary: Amy is back with Anna and the Autobots! This is the sequel to Transformers prime: Who Do You Trust? Join Amy as she tried to love without trust but is that even possible? She will find out.
1. Chapter 1

Welcome To the sequel of Who Do You Trust? I am super excited! Leave a review and tell me how you like this story!

My name is Amy Blake Prime. My life didn't have a good beginning but right now it is a lot better then what it was. Now my dad is Optimus Prime.

A lot has happened in the last few months and it has been hard to get through it but I am still standing tall.

Summary of my life so far; I started life in an abusive home. My father beat my mom as long as I can remember. When he killed her he started abusing me. I kept my sister away from him scared he would hurt her. I grew up trying to find help but all attempts turned against me until I met the Autobots.

The bots were a shock yes but I did not want to let my walls down. If they were like the rest then they could take Anna and hurt us both. So I held in my pain and continued on even with them trying to get me to tell them about my life.

After Anna spilled it all while I was with father and the guys the bots came during the aftermath. I refused to let them in even then. The next thing I knew Optimus Prime adopted Anna and I and we moved into the Autobot base.

I was tenser than before being in base more. I was scared they were gonna strike and take Anna. but they never did. They tried their hardest to get my walls to come down. I refused.

I almost went to Optimus but when I tried it never worked out. I had gone for a drive I wish I never went on. Father hit me with a van and took me away. That was the longest 20ish hours of my life. Optimus and the others came to my rescue and my walls started to crumble.

After a battle for my own life, I pulled through with severe injuries. I kept my walls slightly up but I let them have a small pick into my life when I had called Ratchet one night. They then found out I had been raped an uncountable number of times. Right after they all found out Agent Fowler came in and said I was needed to testify. I could have killed him if I wasn't trying to keep myself from going into shock.

The night before the court I slept in the servos of my dad who kept me safe, at that time he did not know I wanted to call him dad. The next day during court I felt like I was going to fall into the darkness and never come out. I was so scared I was gonna have to go back to father and the guys.

No one even believed father had killed my mom. Through a duel with Jazz, the pain of missing mom broke through and I broke down I needed her. I still need her. Through all this pain I managed to smile for my sister when she came to see me. She planned a sweet evening out with her Raf and Bee. It was beautiful.

After my life being spilled out my life at school changed. It was uncomfortable. The music teacher got fired for trying to make me perform a stunt that I couldn't do with my knee hurt like it was. So Jazz is the new music teacher.

I taught Optimus how to make lemonade. Bee and I had a heart to heart. I almost hit Ironhide's holoform when he startled me. Anna found a picture of mom at the time I couldn't handle seeing her so I left. After a freakout with Ironhide, He helped break down some more of my walls.

Ratchet discovered I could die if I kept my walls uptight as I had been for so long. I could fall asleep and never wake up I think is how he put it.

A 'talk' with Optimus and Ironhide left me finding out the holo-forms were modified and I could feel the warmth of their sparks through their holo-forms. and after being sick I found my happiness. I think.

The changes will be hard but I think I can get through it. Although I don't know if I will ever be able to trust anyone to the full extent I think I will be able to move on with my life.

Also last but not least I told Optimus I wanted him to be my dad!


	2. Chapter 2

Autobotlover56 - Hello everybot! okay, I do not know if I will be using songs in every chapter but feel free to leave a song I love listening to them. Thank you all for reading and please review.

Another note! IMPORTANT! Bee does not have his voice back when he talks to anyone who doesn't understand his beeps he talks through the radio!

Amy's pov.

I woke with a start. Mom being the last thing I saw in my dream made me want to call for her. I sighed. It felt so real but I knew if I called out she would not come. She could never come back. and I blamed my father for that.

I looked over to see Anna still sleeping. The clock read 5:49 AM. I growled slightly but got up and went to take a shower to try to calm my thoughts on mom.

After my shower, I got dressed in blue jeans with a purple shirt, my leather jacket, and my combat boots.

"Why was I doing this? I want to let go of the past but it won't let go of me. Why? What can I do to make it let go?" I thought as I ran a brush through my hair, I growled when my hair wouldn't cooperate. I gave up and went to wake Anna. Gently shaking her I told her it was time to get up and that I was headed off to the main room for a checkup with Ratchet.

I grabbed my backpack and headed off to the main room. I paused in my step before I entered the main room. "Why was I acting this way? Cause you're not used to having a family." I answered myself in my thoughts. I sighed and walked out into the main room and headed for med-bay when I didn't see Ratchet. I froze when a servo blocked my path. I looked up to see Optimus looking down with a gentle smile.

"Going somewhere?" He asked. I bit my lip.

"Med-bay?" I tilted my head. His digits wrapped around my waist and carefully picked me up. I held onto his digits even though I knew he wouldn't drop me. Right? He placed me onto his shoulder plate and headed for med bay. When he walked into the med bay we were greeted by a wrench flying by and hitting Ironhide, who sat on a berth, in the helm.

"Slagget Ratchet," Ironhide growled.

"You slagging Dolt stop whining like a sparkling." Ratchet snarled from his place by his screen. I paled slightly. I could come back later but before I could tell Optimus to turn around he spoke.

"Ratchet." Looking up the scowl left Ratchet's faceplates.

"Optimus, Amy. What can I do for you." He greeted.

"Amy has come for a check-up, old friend," Optimus said.

"But we can come back later," I said quickly adjusting the strap of my backpack.

"Nonsense!" Ratchet said stepped forward and taking me off Optimus shoulder plates. I remained still but took off my backpack which Optimus took from me. Ratchet ran a scan before cradling me to his chest plates allowing me to listen to his spark.

"You're a lucky spark, Amy. Ratchet doesn't throw Wrenches at you." Ironhide commented from his spot on the berth. Ratchet growled at him.

"You no longer need to be in here you piece of scrap metal!" Ratchet spoke and Ironhide was gone before you could say 'wrench.'

"How is Amy's scan Ratchet?" Optimus asked.

"Her ribs are fully healed along with most everything else. Her knee however still needs plenty of rest." I growled quietly at that receiving a concerned look from Ratchet and Optimus.

"Amy." Optimus's voice was soft and calming. "I know this is frustrating for you but please bear with us," I growled in frustration. "Please?" He asked. Looking up at his soft smile, and concerned optics I nodded.

"Alright, my little spark. Its about time for school." Ratchet spoke. I looked at my watch and nodded.

"Yeah. I should head out before I'm late." I said. Ratchet gently nuzzled me before handing me back to Optimus. Optimus walked out of the med bay and set me down before transforming. His holo-form appeared beside the driver's door and offered a hand. I hesitated a second before excepting the hand allowing him to help me up and into his truck form.

As we drove it was almost weird. "He was my dad but I still have no clue what they do. It's not like when you have a pet. I don't think you play fetch with a dad."

"What's on your mind, Amy?" Optimus asked.

"Uh, it's nothing," I replied fiddling with my backpack.

"You can tell me." He spoke softly. I looked at him through the mess of hair that fell in front of my eyes.

"I. well its. Can I tell you when I figure it out?" I asked. His holoform nodded and used a hand to brush my hair out of my face.

"Are you having a bad hair day?" He asked with a small chuckle.

"It wouldn't cooperate," I grumbled sliding down in my seat slightly.

"Would you like some help with it?" He asked as we pulled into the school parking lot.

"After school oh and work I almost forgot I have a meeting at work today right after school," I said He nodded.

"I will pick you up after school and wait for you during your meeting." I nodded pulling my hair into a messy bun.

"Okay, thanks, Opt- dad. Thanks, dad." I corrected myself and jumped down from his truck and headed into school.

...normal pov...

Amy headed into school missing the smile that spread over Optimus's face as he headed back to base.

"She called me dad." He thought. "Now time to research human customs on being a dad." And with that thought went to research it on the computers in his quarters.

...Amy's pov...

The school was almost over I was heading into my last class which was always music. I wonder what Jazz has for us today or should I say Mr. Solstice. We never did get to go over what he needed help with. I walked into class and saw Jazz messing with papers. trying to figure something out.

"You okay. Mr. Solstice?" I asked walking up to him.

"Hey, Amy just trying to figure this out. Would you give me a hand?" He replied. I nodded and took the papers from him and started sorting them. The rest of the students had come in and waited around and on the stage.

"Alright, class. Today since I'm really not organized yet. We will be discussing any ideas of programs we would want to do." Jazz said. The students got excited at that and started throwing ideas around.

"How about like a princess one?"

"Christmas is coming up."

"Yeah in several months."

"How bout army."

"Guys just do a musical. Like a play."

I rolled my eyes. "Jeez can't they come up with anything better?" I thought.

"You guys are over thinking," James spoke. "Figure out a theme then go from there. like we are coming up on fall so a fall theme." I thought about it and it seemed like a good idea.

"Dat's a good idea, James." Jazz said. James smiled. "Alright fall is the theme so think of something to go with it."

When class ended they came up with an end of summer/going into the fall concert.

I followed Jazz out until I saw Optimus. I headed over and climbed in.

"How was school, Amy?" He asked. I sighed.

"Boring, except music class. That class is never boring." I replied. He nodded and headed for the cafe. When he pulled in I hopped out and went in. all of the workers were there sitting discussing some stuff as I sat down.

"Hey, Amy glad you could make it." My boss greeted. I nodded. "Alright on this page, I have listed some changes that will be made first followed by some suggestions and lastly some questions we as a group need to answer." As I looked it over I didn't have to worry about the first part cause I already did or didn't do what it said. I froze seeing possible uniforms. It better not be a skirt.

The meeting didn't last long and the group decided on the uniforms as long as they were not showy. We also decided to go with monthly themes based on some stuff. like the weather and holidays. My boss did give me hours of work he wanted me to start back slowly so I didn't have that many.

I walked out to Optimus and climbed in.

"How was the meeting?" He asked.

"It was alright kinda boring but we are making some changes." I sighed.

"Is that good or bad?" He asked as he pulled out and headed back to base.

"Some are good but we are getting uniforms." I sunk into the seat. He looked at me confused.

"What is wrong with uniforms?"

"I will let you know when I see them," I replied. He nodded. He pulled into the base and I slid out.

"Optimus Decepticons," Prowl spoke. I frowned and headed to my room. I was not going to listen to that. I started my homework and didn't stop until I was done.

When I finished I laid on my bed and started sketching, Anna not being in here it was quiet until a soft knock on my door.

"Yeah?" I called. The door opened and Optimus came in looking sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I am going on a mission and I am unsure of when I will return." He spoke as he walked up to my bed. I sat up.

"Your gonna come back though right?" I asked. He sat down beside me.

"I will do my best my dear spark." He said.

"When do you leave?" My voice trembled slightly. I didn't want him to leave. He was one of three bots I could run to if I needed to.

"As soon as I get back to the main room." He spoke softly. I looked down.

"Who is going with?"

"Arcee, Bulkhead, Bumblebee, Prowl, Ironhide, and myself. So you will have Ratchet and Jazz hear to protect you." He tilted my chin up with a gentle hand. "I will do all I can to return to you and Anna." I nodded and rested my forehead on his shoulder. His arms wrapped around me in a tight hug before pulling back.

"Will you come see us off?" He asked. I nodded and followed him out. We walked back to the main room where the bots stood ready. Bee walked over to me.

"Be careful.. while we're gone." He said. I nodded.

"Come back soon, Bee," I said. He nodded.

"Autobots! Transform and roll out!" Optimus said and they did just that when Ratchet activated the ground bridge.

"Bye dad, see you soon," I spoke softly watching them disappear.

Till All Are One!


	3. music class

I'm back. Just so you know I went back and had Prowl go with Optimus instead of Jazz.

Knockout Starscream - I really love that song! I will be using songs soon not yet though.

Amy's pov. later that night...

I was sitting at my desk sketching, Anna had gone to bed a while ago but I couldn't get myself to get in bed just yet; I mean I just got to calling Optimus dad and then he has to leave, and no one knows when he will return.

The others that went with, I just have no clue what to think. Arcee is okay just recently wanting to 'hang out' whatever that entails. Prowl, I don't know what to really make of him yet. Then there's Bulkhead, I really don't know him that well, he is usually hanging out with Miko or on missions. Bumblebee, My new brother. He is so protective, it feels like he cares so much he could explode, Yet I still hesitate a lot. I do trust him at least I thought I did. Ironhide, the cold stone soldier at first glance was the one who pushed back just as hard as I do when I try to push people away. Optimus, my new dad, I still don't know what that means, Optimus was the one from the start to try to pry open my walls, gently with such care yet I still close them.

I focused really hard on the eyes of the person I was sketching, catching every detail from memory until I heard a soft knock on my door so I got up and opened the door to see Jazz's holo form.

"What is it Jazz?" I asked.

"Figured you couldn't sleep." He said. "Will you help me with some stuff for music class?" I nodded.

"Sure let me grab a few things," I said, I quickly grabbed a notebook some pens and headed out. I followed Jazz to the main room. I sat on the couch and his holo-form sat beside me.

"Okay so as of now I have the papers that have what they can play and sing. and I looked up past some performances, Also I wrote down the student's ideas for new performances." Jazz said opening his briefcase. I nodded.

"Okay, first thing is you need to know what you want to teach your students or re-teach. then you should start working with the students who need help adjusting, Then when you organize what performance you want us to do for a concert you plan it. Like we usually do one the third weekend in September but plans change. We also usually do one closer to Christmas. But if we are going to I would make it great the last one was terrible." I told him. He nodded.

"So I need to decide on a date then a theme, then figure out who does what then practice." He listed off. I nodded in reply. So we got to work setting dates figuring out themes and starting on who would do what but we couldn't really do that till we had tryouts to see who would do what better. After a while, he was doing most of it while I tried to stay awake but I felt myself falling asleep.

... Jazz's pov...

I was so grateful for Amy's help, we had been getting so much done. Although after a while it had gotten quiet. I looked over to see her trying to keep her eyes open. I smiled she was kinda cute. I'm glad we saved her and now she's like a niece. I pulled a blanket from beside the couch and laid it over her.

"Get some rest, Amy," I said. She nodded pulling the blanket closer around her. I lost track of time while I was working that I didn't notice Ratchet.

"Shouldn't you be in staces?" He asked. Looking up frowning.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"About 2 AM." He replied. I cringed and nodded. So I packed my stuff up and headed to my quarters leaving Amy to sleep on the couch.

... The next morning... Amys pov...

I woke with a start for a moment not knowing where I was, what was happening, or who was where. I blinked rapidly clearing my vision so I could see where I was. When my vision finally cleared I found myself on the couch in the main room. Ratchet was at the monitor computer, other then him I was alone in this room. I sat up rubbing my eyes, I didn't have my phone or watch with me so I had no clue what time it was. Sighing I stood and stretched.

"Morning Amy." Ratchet greeted. I looked over and nodded. What was I supposed to say 'morning how are you?' Or something? I am still getting used to the fact that some people care... At least I think they do. I'm pretty sure... I still wasn't sure how to comprehend the whole family thing. I mean I could ask Optimus, but he was still gone, and I didn't want to ask anyone really.

Frowning I headed off to my room not noticing the optics that watched me leave. When I got to my room I took a shower and got dressed in dark blue boot cut jeans, a dark purple shirt, my combat boots, and my leather jacket. I woke Anna at 7:10 to get ready for school. When she was ready, instead of having Jazz take us I drove my motorcycle.

For school, it was rather quiet, probably because the bullies hadn't bothered to do anything since they got back from their suspensions. I did a couple of pop quizzes and some papers and more school work waiting for music class.

At lunch Raf, Miko, and Jack came over to join Anna and me.

"Hey guys, haven't seen you in a while," Miko said sounding calmer then she used to be.

"Yeah seems like it's been forever," Anna replied.

"Two weeks," I stated. Anna looked at me puzzled I shrugged at her. I kept track of everything even if I did not need to or notice.

"Sorry I've been busy with work and now that I don't have Arcee it will be kinda difficult." Jack chinned in. Raf who was sitting beside Anna pushed up his glasses.

"I will hopefully be able to hang out more since I am still getting good grades." He said making Anna smile brightly.

...music class...

I walked in with a few other students, there was a half circle of chairs by the stage Jazz standing next to a table in front of them.

"Hey guys, come on in and have a seat." He said. When all the other kids came in and sat down Jazz started class in a new way.

"Alright, class. From now on we will start every meeting with some warm-ups of past performances you have done, but you will twist it to make it fit your style. For example, Take the song Wanted by Hunter Hayes." Jazz stated then started singing that song but twisted it so it had a slight rap to it instead of the smooth country it was written with. After he finished the class clapped for him.

"So that will be your homework for Monday. For now, I am planning a concert for the second week in September and need to find out who will do what parts. The theme is country fall, so fall colors and fall things like bonfires, late night stargazing. Whatever you guys usually do during fall. So you will all get to throw song ideas out. When the songs have been chosen we will have additions to see who will sing what part for the concert." With that said the song ideas started getting thrown out.

After class, I walked out with Jazz.

"Have we heard anything yet?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Sorry, Amy. I'll let you know as soon as we hear something." He replied.

"K. I have to work so could you take Anna back to base?" He nodded.

"Stay safe Amy." He said as Anna met up with him. I nodded and headed off to work.

Hey guys! Sorry, this took so long.

Anyway, I need your help! What song reminds you of fall? Leave it in the comments or PM me. Cannot wait to hear from you all!


	4. focus, class mates, and ballet?

...Amy's pov...

It has been a week since the others left. A whole week since my dad left through the ground bridge. A week, seven long days. It's getting harder and harder to get up in the mornings. This morning Anna was the one to wake me up so I wouldn't be late for school. It's just so hard right now.

"Amy?" I voice broke my thoughts. I looked up to see the teacher looking at me.

"Yes, ma'am?" I replied.

"Are you alright?" She asked. I nodded in reply and tried to pay attention. It had been decided that my dad and my family were all in the military so the whole school knew that my family would be gone a lot.

All throughout the day I couldn't really stay focused even it Music class. Although I did listen to the songs the other students had twisted around to fit their personality.

First was Stacey a blonde bright-eyed girl, she wasn't short but she wasn't tall either she was shorter then I am, She didn't have any shoulder build. She was more of a soft-spoken sweet girl so it fit her that she didn't have a bigger build. She sang Rachel Crow - Mean Girl, instead of being louder she sang it softly with piano as the main instrument. She was one of the softer singers, she could also play the piano.

James was second being the only one in a wheelchair he sang Loser like me, he is a sweet kid with dirty blonde hair and green eyes; He was on the skinnier side and if he could stand he would be slightly taller then myself. He could play the guitar and bass.

Brenda, a girl with black hair and brown eyes with a slight build, slightly on the wild side kinda girl; sang Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys. She played the guitar and was more of rock out hard type girl, Like Miko.

Lucy, a laid back kinda girl who will speak her mind most of the time had a good shoulder build and long legs had her at 5 foot 7 inches, She had black straight hair with green eyes; sang Rise by Katy Perry. she could play flute and piano.

Charlie, a redhead with a fiery attitude to match his hair was on the smaller side which made him an even more of a fireball, sung I'm still standing by Taron Egerton. Charlie usually played bass or drums.

Peter, the country boy who had brown hair, blue eyes, and a nice tan, being raised on a farm meant he was muscular, and of course sang country. Hard to Love by Lee Brice. he could play guitar and drums.

Justin, a kind kid, black hair with soft brown eyes, usually kept quiet, sang 7 Years Old Lucas Graham. He could play the piano and bass, sometimes he just stayed backstage as our sound man.

Brandon, the rapper in the group who was never afraid to show himself had died his hair black with his hazel eyes. Kryptonite by 3 doors down was what he sang he twisted it to more of a rap song. He could play drums and guitar.

Carrie, a brownish blonde haired girl with green hazel eyes was one of the logical kids in the group, who always tried to find easy ways to do things so it would be easier. Titanium by Madilyn Bailey was her song choice. She played the trumpet sometimes and the flute.

Rebecca, a Burnett who was the drama queen. Always making things about her and whining. She sang slightly higher notes. Skyscraper by Demi Lovato. She didn't play anything, she just whined a lot. I don't understand why she was in music class.

I wish Miko would replace her but Mikos foster parents wouldn't let her join until she could study hard and get good grades.

Thankfully for me, the bell rang meaning class was over.

"Thank guys, dat was great! I'll see you all tomorrow. Amy will do her song tomorrow." Jazz said as the kids left. I walked with Jazz out. "What's wrong Amy? You seem out of it." Jazz stated. I looked at the ground.

"Nothing is wrong," I replied hoping Anna was coming soon.

"Dat's a lie and you know it." He said stopping near his 'car' he raised an eyebrow at me. "You can tell ol' Jazz bout anythin'." I sighed.

"I know just a lot on my mind right now. Maybe later." I replied seeing Anna come over with 'that' smile on her face.

"I know that smile." I started making her giggle. "Go get Raf."

"Thanks, Amy! Be right back!" Anna said hugged me and ran off to get Raf.

"You're a great sister." Jazz said as we got into the 'car'. I looked out the window as we waited for Anna and Raf.

"I wish I was," I mumbled under my breath.

"What was dat'?" He asked. I shook my head. Anna and Raf ran to the car hand in hand and climbed in.

"Hey Amy, hey Jazz. Thanks for the ride." Raf said.

"Sure thing." Jazz replied.

When we got to base Ratchet was waiting his arms crossed.

"Amy you are overdue for a checkup." He stated. I bit my lip and walked up to him. His servo gently picked me up and took me into med bay, he held me against his chest plates. "How was school?" He asked as he started running scans.

"Fine," I said leaning slightly into his chases. He hummed in response.

"Looks like besides your knee you are fully healed, Amy." He said. I frowned.

"But my knee hasn't bothered me," I stated.

"Not yet dear one. Your knee may never be to its full strength if not taken care of properly. It probably doesn't hurt right now because you haven't had to perform such stunts sense your old music teacher was fired." Ratchet spoke gently running a digit over my arm. I slightly growled at his words but said nothing. "I know its hard for you, Amy. But it will be okay." He paused to just look at me slightly relaxed in his servo. "I got a message from Optimus today." I looked up.

"Is he okay? What did it say?" I asked right after he spoke.

"Everyone is okay for the time being. He said that they were going into an area where it would be too dangerous to communicate until the mission was over. He says he misses you and Anna and cannot wait to return to you both." I looked down after Ratchet replied.

"Will they be okay?" I asked. I didn't want any of them to get hurt.

"I believe they will all return safe and sound when they can." I nodded. For a moment he simply held me close letting me bask in the warmth of his spark.

"We are here for you sweet spark." He murmured. I nodded

"Anyway, I have some homework to do," I said. Ratchet nodded before he put me down he held me in front of his faceplates making me feel self-conscious, carefully he nuzzled into me very gently. I was confused as fudge but didn't say anything when he put me down, I just headed back to my room so I could do my homework. Anna and Raf were doing their homework in the main room so I had the room to myself.

After a while, Anna and Raf came in.

"Hey, Amy." Raf greeted.

"Hey Raf, Anna. How are you two doing?" I asked.

"Good, gonna get a snack," Anna said heading to the kitchen. They got their snack and headed back out leaving me to my homework.

When I finished my homework I shoved it away from me and got up. I haven't stretched out in a long time, so I changed into my workout clothes and started stretching. I was pretty stiff in the shoulders still my arms were out of wack and my legs needed to be stretched more often. slowly I worked out my muscles. I slowly slid down into a split and raised my arms above my head.

"I haven't been in this pose sense Anna was in ballet." the thought hit me without realizing it. "Does she still want to do ballet, class? I should ask her." So I got up and walked out to find Anna. the floor was cold on my bare feet as I walked out of Optimus's room and down the hallway. I found Raf and Anna on the platform in the main room.

"Hey Amy, practicing?" Raf asked. I looked at Anna.

"Anna?" I looked at her she tilted her head in question. "Do you miss doing ballet?" I asked. She looked to think about it for a moment.

"I guess I hadn't really thought about it. I mean it was fun to dress up in the cute outfits and dance." She trailed off.

"Do you want to go back to doing it?" She looked wide-eyed.

"Could I?" She asked. I nodded.

"Yes, sweetie of course."

"Will you join with me?" She asked. I froze, when I was little I really enjoyed dreaming about it. Mom said I used to dance around my room like a ballerina whenever I got the chance. Father always made fun of it so I had stopped.

"I can try one class. If I like it I will stay, but me being in ballet class stays between us three, okay?" I said giving a gentle but firm look.

"Sure thing Amy," Raf said.

"Yes! Thanks, Amy!" Anna jumped for joy.

"Sure thing, I'll go look up when the classes start," I replied and headed back to my room.

The dance classes were a little ways away so I had time to make sure she and I had outfits for that. speaking of outfits I thought for work they had decided on uniforms, I wonder how that is going.

That night after Raf left and Anna was in bed I laid in bed wide awake. Wondering how dad and the others were doing.

"What mission were they on? When were they gonna return? are they okay? What if they get hurt?"

After laying in bed with those questions in my head I couldn't bear it anymore, I got out of bed and changed into my workout clothes before heading to the training room. I was going to practice hard.

I have an important question. Who wants to know in detail what Amy went through when she was with her father and the guys?

I know its very deep but I think I know how I want it to go from here on out and wanted to know what you guys and girls though. Please let me know.


	5. When will they come back?

Hello.

Knockout Starscream - Thank you! Your reviews are appreciated.

KawaiiRainbowWriter - That's great you used to do ballet classes. I may ask you about them for the story.  
It is perfectly cool for you to call me ABL!  
Thank you so much for the review.

I practiced what I remembered from Anna's ballet classes before I started to flip and dance the night away. At one point my knee started to hurt but I ignored it.

"When will dad return?" I started playing I am invincible by Cassadee Pope in my head as the thoughts of being left alone ran through my head.

"What if they never come back?" I Am Invincible. Nothing gonna make me break or shatter. I danced to the unheard beat as I started to sweat. the thoughts getting louder so I danced faster, harder, better.

"Will I lose them tonight? Will I go back to being who I was? Will I have to raise Anna on my own again? She needs a dad."

I'm unstoppable. I will stay strong until they return to us. Return to me.

...Time skip about a month...Amy's Pov...

Dad has still not returned with the others and we haven't heard from them Anna has gotten worried and started having nightmares occasionally. Ratchet seemed stressed, Jazz seemed cool, I don't know how to keep going. It was hard.

So far work had gotten our new uniforms and I hated the knee-length black skirts with a white shirt. Anna and I started ballet classes the others think its only her in the class, it's for the best they don't know I'm doing it Ratchet would kill me. Last time I had a checkup he had a fit seeing my knee was aggravated.

other then that music class had the fall concert it went okay better than previous years but not the best. We started planning for a Christmas concert for the night before Christmas Eve. I'm a little excited for that one. I'd be even more if dad was home.

"Amy!" Miko almost yelled. I blinked and looked over to the couch where the other kids were sitting. I raised an eyebrow at her. "Dude I called for you 6 times. You okay?" She asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, what is it, Miko?" I replied.

"You remember that spoiled kid from music class?" She asked.

"Rebecca the Burnett?" She nodded. "What about her?"

"She's moving! And I get to join music class now! Win-win!" She got excited.

"Cool. kinda glad she's gone." I added. I looked at my watch. "Anna almost bedtime," I told her.

"Can I sleep with Jazz?" She asked. She did that when she was really worried about dad. I nodded. She went off to find Jazz while Ratchet sent the kids home through the ground bridge.

"Amy, you should head to bed as well." Ratchet said. I growled slightly. "Don't growl at me youngling." He gave a stern look. I said nothing and walked off to my room. I don't know why I was irritated with that but I was. I laid in bed and tossed and turned for a couple of hours before getting up. This had become normal for me so I had my workout clothes laid out. I quickly changed and went into dad's room to practice. I did this when Anna slept with Jazz. I danced until my knee throbbed and I was drenched in sweat. I showered and collapsed in bed.

the next morning I got up and got ready for school. I knew in music class we would be preparing for the coming Christmas concert, that was kind of exciting.

I got to music class steaming like a pot of boiling water. For once it wasn't Vince and his guys. No, it was the spoiled Rebecca and some of her friends. they had to get in my face and brag about how their dads were home with them and had never hit them. They hollered as I walked away from that no one would take me in as a true daughter.

"Amy, what happened?" Jazz or Mr. Solstice asked. I glared and sat down in a chair near James and Carrie. He frowned but got on with class.

"Alright class, we are starting planning for our Christmas concert, I want you all as a group to decide on what songs we will perform, who will do what on each song, and costumes. Mrs. Esquvil has offered to make you all the costumes for our concerts." Jazz explained.

We finally decided on songs, O come all ye faithful, Silent night, All I want for Christmas is you, last Christmas by Taylor Swift, and Mary did you know? Tomorrow we will decide who will do what for the songs and start practicing.

As soon as we were dismissed I was out the door, I wish I could hide away back at base but I had work. Not waiting for Jazz or Anna I got on my bike and rode off to work. When I got to the cafe I texted Anna,

Have a good afternoon, get your homework done, I love you. - Amy.

I changed into my new uniform, it looked alright with my black combat boots and got to work. It was alright at work but I was thankful when it was over. I got on my bike and rode off to the base.

"I wish I could go back to work." was the first thought in my head when I got back to base. Jazz told Ratchet about my mood during class and they were both waiting arms crossed. I slowly parked my bike and took my helmet off. "Dang, if I forgot to change out of my uniform."

"What happened at school?" Jazz asked. I crossed my arms and looked away. I was not in any mood to talk about it. "Come on Amy talk to ol' Jazz."

"Amy, don't make this hard on yourself," Ratchet added.

"Hard on myself?" I replied with a growl. "What am I doing to make it hard? I'm just trying to get through each and every day."

"Amy calm down." Jazz said calmly. "We didn't mean to get you worked up. Let's start over." He kneeled down beside me. I looked away not really understanding what he meant.

"How was work?" He asked gently. Breathing out slowly.

"It was alright. nothing to report." I told him.

"What about school?" Ratchet asked. I looked up at him for a moment before looking away. "Come here sweet spark." He said softly kneeling down next to Jazz. I bit my lip looking at the floor. A servo came into view it went behind me and bumped into my legs making my sit down. Ratchet lifted me to his faceplates.

"Was it Vince?" He asked softly. I shook my head. "Who was it?"

"It's fine Ratchet."

"No, it is not. Sweetspark someone did something to you. I want to know who and what they did."

"Will you stop asking me about it if I tell you?" I replied slightly annoyed.

"Of course." Jazz said.

"Rebecca and a couple of her friends." Jazz frowned deeply.

"The one who just left music class?" I nodded. "What did they say?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright, that's enough of that for today." Ratchet said pulling me close to his chest plates. Jazz nodded and headed off to probably check on Anna.

"Ratchet, When is Dad coming back?" I asked.

...Ratchets pov...

"Ratchet, When is dad coming back?" Amy asked me. The look in her eyes tore my spark out. She wanted Optimus and I haven't heard anything.

"I don't know, Amy, I wish I did," I told her. Her face fell even more. I used a digit to gently touch her cheek.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" That surprised me, she had never asked me that before but I was more than happy to be there for her.

"Of course." Instead of staying up to all hours of the night I took Amy to my quarters so maybe she and I could get some sleep. I laid down setting her on my chassis and covered her with my servos to keep her warm.

"I miss daddy." Was the last thing I heard her say before we both fell asleep.

Sorry, it's taking so long. I hope you like it. Please review so I know how many people are reading my story!


	6. Fading into the dark

I'm back! I am so happy to finally be done with this chapter I hope you all enjoy!

Knockout Starscream - Thank you I look forward to your review!

sweetredranger - I'm glad it was worth the wait and we shall see what happens to Amy's knee.

cyberQueen1826 - Thank you for reviewing! I am glad you like my story. And I really like your name. I am glad you got an account!

Guest - I am in love with that song now, thank you so much! Thank you for reviewing!

The next day...Amy's pov...

I woke and froze for a second I had no clue where I was and why I was feeling metal, then I remembered what happened last night. Ratchet was awake and seemed to be waiting until my tense form relaxed.

"Morning," I said sitting on my knees. I looked down and sighed I hadn't changed out of my uniform.

"Good morning Amy. Are you alright?" He asked. I nodded. He wrapped a servo around me and pulled me close to his faceplates as he sat up. He nuzzled into my midsection gently. I still didn't understand why but it felt kinda nice.  
"Its almost time for school. You should get changed." He spoke after a moment and dropped me off at Optimus's quarters so I could get ready for school.

I quickly got ready for the day and grabbed Anna's and my backpacks and headed out. I met up with Anna in the main room who was waiting in Jazz. I climbed in and Jazz drove off to school.

"Have good day girls." He told us as we parted ways. As I walked down the hallway i watched people's reaction to me walking past. I didn't understand them. Most, who never talked to me, looked away almost shameful; others just stared, the rest glared. why though? I did nothing to harm them unless they did something first. So why did this bother me so much?

School went by pretty quick I really didn't notice or remember much from it before I knew it we were back at base. I didn't keep track of much as time went by.

Normal pov...

Days went by as Amy slowly faded into gray, a shadowy figure in the hall walking down the street, sitting at her desk. Everyone watched her fade knowing the one who could bring her colors back was not here and they did not know when he would return.

She got up for school, went to work came back, did her school work and went to bed, she was having trouble practicing. She would take Anna to ballet and go herself but she was not really there. Her eyes had faded. As the fire faded to embers in her eyes the Christmas play got closer.

Practicing her part her eyes no longer holding that faint light for they had gone dark.

Anna's pov...

"It has been almost a month since dad left with the others and the play is coming up fast. I just wanted them to be here to watch the ballet performance and see Amy's group do the concert. What if he doesn't come back in time? I know he will, he told me he would be back someday. but when?" Thinking made my head spin a little soi just focused on ballet class. We were going through the dance they taught us for the Christmas recital.

after class...

Amy met up with me and headed out to her bike.

"When is dad coming home?" I asked. She didn't pause in step and got onto her bike and handed me my helmet. Her eyes were empty, I knew she wouldn't answer me, what would she say? 'He'll be home soon!' No, she didn't know either. I got on after her and we headed back to base.

When Amy parked her bike she went off to our room like every day. I frowned watching her go. I wanted to help but I never could.

"What's on your mind, Anna?" Ratchet asked. I looked at him and looked the way Amy had gone. "I know it hurts Anna, but there is little we can do right now." I nodded.

"It hurts seeing her like that," I told him. He nodded and offered a servo. Climbing on he spoke again.

"I know it hurts sweet spark. But it will all end up okay no matter how bad it seems now." He set me on the platform and tilted my chin up.

"Thanks, Ratchet." I got to working on my school work as the day drug on.

normal pov...

Amy's eyes now empty more than ever before she seemed like a robot just doing what she was 'programmed' to do. Go to school then work when she had it. She took Anna to ballet attending herself, but she was never really there. Anna tried to cheer her up but nothing worked, Amy didn't even smile at her anymore. She had given up. She had felt she could trust Optimus and he was gone. The one she could trust may never return to her she was left alone.

later that day Amy was brought from her thoughts by the very loud commotion, she looked at the door debating whether to check it out or ignore it. She laid down on the floor with her back to the door choosing to ignore it. Later that night Anna came in.

"Amy?" Her soft voice sounding worried. Amy rolled over onto her back. "Ratchet wants to see you." Anna smiled lightly as Amy stood and made her way to the main room. When she got to the main room Ratchet was not there but Jazz was.

"Hey sweet spark, Ratchet's in the med bay." He said softly. Nodding once Amy went in and froze. Laying on a berth with patched up wounds was Ironhide. Her heart dropped, her hands shook, and her breath caught.

"Amy, its okay. He's okay." Ratchet said seeing her reaction. "He will wake soon. Come here." She didn't move, just stood staring at the black form. Ratchet walked over and carefully picked her up and walked back to Ironhide as he onlined.

"Agh Ratchet what did you do this time?" He groaned.

"Amy is here." Ratchet told him. Ironhide sat up rather quickly and looked her over before slowly and carefully reached out a servo to take her from Ratchet. After Ratchet left Ironhide spoke.

"Sweetspark, what happened to you?" His voice was soft as if he was afraid to break her more then she already was. Her eyes that were gray and empty looked up at him. Looking into her empty eyes made it feel like his spark was ripped out and thrown down. He had no idea how far she had fallen in their absence. he used a digit to gently stroke her cheek. She didn't lean into or away from it, she just sat there looking not necessarily at him just looking at nothing specific. "Please say something, Amy." He pleaded his optics boring into hers begging her to show a sign anything. She looked back at him and blinked.

"What happened?" She murmured to him.

"Sweetspark I was injured and was forced to come back to base and wait for the others return." He spoke. "I do not know when they will return." He added seeing her look up. She looked away broken, devastated, torn apart. He pulled her close to his spark and they stayed that way for the rest of the night.

The next morning Ratchet came in to see them both still asleep. He wished he could do more but he had no idea how. He wished Optimus would come back and help his daughter heal.

...time skip...Amy's pov...

I woke with Ironhide and left med bay so Ratchet could work. It being the weekend meant I didn't have to do anything. So I went to my room and grabbed my sketch pad and pencils, after putting them into a backpack i headed to sit on top of the silo and I started sketching. It was a little cold out but I could hardly tell I really didn't care at the moment. I wanted dad to come back. I felt tears coming to my eyes as I looked at the sketch it was Optimus's truck form. I set it down and stood back I would dance away this pain, at least try. I started singing a song I hadn't heard in a while.

...normal pov...

"Promise Of A Lifetime"

I have fallen to my knees  
As I sing a lullaby of pain  
I'm feeling broken in my melody  
As I sing to help the tears go away

Then I remember the pledge you made to me

Spinning in the air she landed gracefully and flipped back she danced her heart out as tears stained her cheeks. unaware of the optics watching and recording her.

[CHORUS:]  
I know you're always there  
To hear my every prayer inside  
I'm clinging to the promise of a lifetime  
I hear the words you say  
To never walk away from me and leave behind  
The promise of a lifetime

Will you help me fall apart  
Pick me up, take me in your arms  
Find my way back from the storm  
And you show me how to grow  
Through the change

I still remember the pledge you made to me

Slowing down to slower dance moves her voice softened wishing Optimus could come and hold her and never leave her behind. To stay with her forever and protect her from the pain of the past that is not wanting to let go.

[CHORUS:]  
I know you're always there  
To hear my every prayer inside  
I'm clinging to the promise of a lifetime  
I hear the words you say  
To never walk away from me and leave behind  
The promise of a lifetime

[BRIDGE:]  
I am holding on to the hope I have inside  
With you, I will stay through every day  
Putting my understanding aside

Amy reached out to the horizon as if she was expecting Optimus to come out of the rising sun to hold her, to pick her up and shield her from the cruel world, but he didn't come and slowly she slid to her knees as she sang the last few lines.

And I am comforted  
To know you're always there  
To hear my every prayer inside  
I'm clinging to the promise of a lifetime  
I hear the words you say  
To never walk away from me and leave behind  
The promise of a lifetime

She felt comforted when he was there but he wasn't there and he may never return to her. Was she being selfish to want him to come back to her? Was she being too needy and clingy? Was she wrong to trust him? Would she survive without him?

I know you're always there  
To hear my every prayer inside  
I'm clinging to the promise of a lifetime  
Looking back at me  
I know that you can see my heart  
is holding to the promise of a lifetime.

Ironhide walked toward her after she finished and sat beside her. He took notice of the detailed sketch of Optimus.

"That's a great sketch, Amy." His voice was soft and gentle. She looked at it before looking away.

"Its the best I can do without him here." Her voice was so quiet he almost missed it but those were the first words, besides the few in the med bay, she had spoken in a few weeks so Ratchet told him.

"He will come back, Amy. He is not gonna leave you here alone." Ironhide told her.

"I hope you are right Ironhide." Her voice was broken he could tell. Carefully he picked her up and held her to his chest plates.

"He will, he promised."

Finally done! Please let me know what you think! Leave a song too!


	7. It's hard

sup yall?

sweetredranger - I really love your songs! I will try to fit them into future chapters.

Knockout Starscream - Thank you! Nice song choice. I have never heard it before. It was nice to hear more songs.

CyberQueen1826 - Thank you so much!

Horses and Giant Robots - Great song!

Side note to everyone! "If you leave a song I do listen to it!" Sits back sipping my coffee. "I love listening to music that means a lot to you. You can even leave a meaning of what the song means to you. If you don't want everyone to see it PM me." stretches fingers. "Now If you lovely readers will excuse me I have some writing to catch up on."

Amy was a little better after the talk with Ironhide but she still hid in her room when she wasn't at school, music class, work, or ballet with Anna. So Jazz started forming a plan to help her come out of her darkness. He missed hearing her play her violin through the hall and hear her voice through the base as she danced her heart out. He hadn't heard her sing or play in way too long. (He felt music class didn't count.)

Amy had just gotten back from school with Anna, as she parked her bike she looked over at Ratchet for a moment, She had gotten called to the principles office today and was sent home with a note. Having a little bit of a clue what it said she hesitated to mention it, Optimus was the one who she was supposed to give it to, but seeing as to he was not here Ratchet would be the next bot in line she thought.

Anna went off to her room with Raf to do her school work, leaving Amy in the main room with Ironhide and Ratchet. Dragging her feet slightly she walked up to Ratchet. Taking notice of her, he kneeled down.

"Is everything alright sweetspark?" He asked his voice calm and soothing. She took out the letter from her backpack and reached it out. Ratchets holoform activated and he took the note. After opening and reading it he looked Amy over. "Are you hurt?" He wasn't angry he knew Amy would never throw the first punch so did the principle, however, they were very concerned about her seeing as her grades had fallen from an A to a B- and her voice hadn't been heard at school besides music class and even there it had changed.

"Ratchet what happened?" Ironhide spoke up.

"There was a fight at school." Ratchet replied searching Amy's eyes for any sign of pain or just anything, but they were blank giving him nothing. He reached out and took her hand, she blinked and focused on him. "Are you hurt?" He asked again. She thought for a moment before shaking her head. "How's your knee?" She shrugged looking down on it for a moment.

"Come here, Amy," Ironhide spoke he had transformed and his holoform stood close by. Her gray eyes met his and she walked over to him. He wrapped his muscular arms around her, holding her close trying to hold all her broken pieces together so she wouldn't break. He was rather surprised she didn't tense or react much to his touch. She just stood there numbly. After a moment he pulled back to study her face, blank.

"I need to do my homework." She mumbled. He nodded and took her backpack from her, he took her hand and led her down the hallway to her room. When they entered Optimus's quarters Amy's eyes lifted to where his berth lay, hoping, praying that he would be there, but once again she was disappointing.

Being gently pulled into her room her eyes went back down. Ironhide seeing Anna and Raf doing their homework on the floor led Amy to the kitchen where he sat down and pulled her onto his lap. If she wasn't in this numb state Ironhide knew she would be fighting to get out of his hold. He helped her go over each subject until it was all done, then they sat there for a while Ironhide simply holding her close.

"Jazz wants to see you," Ironhide spoke after a while. Amy looked up barely registering the words. "He says to get into your work out clothes." He added. Amy frowned but nodded once before getting up, grabbing her clothes and changing in the bathroom. When she looked in the mirror she could see faint dark patches under her eyes, her hair was a mess she hadn't washed it in a while, and her eyes. There was no color in them, they were just dull, empty with no hope or light in them.

After she got changed and walked out Ironhide spoke. "Jazz is in the training room." His voice was soft, still so unlike the bot, he is usually rough. Amy headed to the training room to see Jazz. He motioned her over.

"Hey, Amy." He greeted knowing she wouldn't say anything but hoping she would, he was right sadly. He kneeled down when she got close. "I miss you, Amy." Looking up slightly at him with a slightly confused expression. He stepped back and transformed activating his holo-form he stepped forward and taking her hand he pulled her close. Music filled the air from Jazz's vehicle the doors opened to let it fill the room. Jazz placed one hand on her waist the other taking her left hand he started singing the words as he led her in a slow dance.

Everything Falls - Fee

You said you'd never leave or forsake me  
When you said, this life is gonna shake me  
And you said this world is gonna bring trouble on my soul  
This I know

When everything falls apart Your arms hold me together

When everything falls apart You're the only hope for this heart  
When everything falls apart and my strength is gone  
I find you mighty and strong  
You keep holding on  
You keep holding on

Jazz spun her out and back into both his arms were around her before he spun her around before putting one hand on her waist and the other taking her hand again. His eyes looked into hers as they danced hoping to be getting through to her, hoping he could stop her from drowning.

When I see the darkness all around me  
When I see that tragedy has found me  
I still believe Your faithful arms will never let me go  
And still, I know

Jazz spun her out and raised his hand above her head so she spun in a perfect circle before he lowered it and pulled her close, his hands picked her up by the waist and spun her in the air before setting her down in a single motion, he spun her again before pulling her into his arms closely and dipping her low he held her there for a while.

When everything falls apart Your arms hold me together  
When everything falls apart You're the only hope for this heart  
When everything falls apart and my strength is gone  
I find you mighty and strong  
You keep holding on  
You keep holding on

Amy looked into his eyes as he dipped her low to the floor. They were pleading with her. Begging her to open up, to stay with him. As he pulled her up and into the next steps she decided to try at least a little. She grabbed both his hands and spun so her back was to his chest his arms around her for a second before she spun back them facing each other before jazz pulled her close.

Sorrow will last for the night  
But hope is rising with the sun, it's rising with the sun  
There will be storms in this life  
But I know You will overcome, you have overcome

He led her through the room with fast motions spinning her in and out dipping her low, picking her up and spinning her in the air.

When everything falls apart Your arms hold me together  
When everything falls apart You're the only hope for this heart  
When everything falls apart and my strength is gone  
I find you mighty and strong  
You keep holding on

When everything falls apart Your arms hold me together  
When everything falls apart You're the only hope for this heart  
When everything falls apart and my strength is gone  
I find you mighty and strong  
You keep holding on  
You keep holding on

Jazz spun her out one last time and when he pulled her back in he swept her off her feet and into his arms spinning around before slowing stopping. Her arms around his neck staring into his eyes breathing hard they stayed like that for a long moment just reading each other.

"You are beautiful." Jazz spoke suddenly. "I think you are special and I don't want to see you hurting like this anymore, Amy. We love you. You and Anna are a part of our family. I love you, Amy." Her eyes grew wide with his words. Had he ever said that before? She couldn't remember. For a moment she had no idea what to say. She had never heard a man say that before that wasn't lying, besides Optimus.

She could take a leap of faith and trust Jazz with her feelings, but what would he say? What would he do? Would he make fun of her or tell her to stop feeling like this? Would he tell her that shes just seeking attention?

"Amy?" He voice piercing through her mind clouded with thoughts of uncertainty. Her arms wrapped around his neck loosely slowly tightened as she rested her forehead on his shoulder. His arms tightened around her slightly.

"Jazzy?" Her voice broke when she said his name. He hummed in response. "I'm tired of fighting." He held her tighter and walked to his vehicle mode and sat inside holding her close.

"You can rest now. I will keep you safe. Nothing is gonna hurt you. I promised Optimus I would keep an optic on you while he was gone." She shifted slightly looking up at him.

"He's coming back right?" Jazz nodded.

"Of course sweetspark. He will be back. You just need to try to keep your chin up while you wait."

...the next day at work Amy's pov...

I had a headache, I had to not only work without the other waitress I had to extend my shift till closing which was 10:00 pm. I was trying to feel an emotion if it was frustrating but I am having trouble even feeling that. But finally my shift is over and I can go back to base now. I walked out and waved my boss off as he drove away. I tried to start my bike but it didn't start. Growling I tried again and again but it wouldn't start. On top of that, it started raining.

"Okay, not my day. It's just out of gas. right?" I asked myself. I looked in the gas and there was plenty. So I tried starting it again but it wouldn't work I growled and tried harder when it didn't start I grabbed my helmet and threw it out of frustration and yelled at the sky. When I got done with that I started walking I took out my phone and called Ratchet.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Ratchet?"

"Amy? Is everything okay?"

"My bike won't start," I growled in frustration. I saw bright lights coming around the corner.

"Are you at work?" He asked almost frantically.

"Yes, what's wrong?"

"Amy get out of there! There is a con! I'm sending Ironhide and Jazz." I turned from the lights and ran down the street the engine of that vehicle roared speeding after me. I sidestepped into an alley and ran down in turning here and there trying to lose him and get out of town. It went quite no movement no engine. nothing. I grabbed my knife and held it firmly as I walked slowly out of the alley. a loud THUD from behind made me jump and spin around there stood a bot with glowing red eyes.

"Well if it isn't Primes pet." He spoke with venom in his words. Swallowing hard I stepped back. "You won't escape from me." He raised his arm transforming it into a gun. "Not this time." He charged it up as I leaped around the corner as he fired. Where were Jazz and Ironhide? I ran as the can ran after me firing very close to me made me fall roughly to the ground. Groaning I pushed myself up slightly with my arms looking up at the con drenched in rain as he charged his gun I glared at him waiting for him to shoot. That is when Ironhide ran into him in his truck form. Jazz speeding in front of my transformed.

"Amy, you alright?" He asked his servos transforming into his weapons. I gave a thumbs up he ran off to help Ironhide take the con down. It didn't take long before it all went quiet. Ironhide rushed over making me blink in surprise.

"Sweetspark are you alright? Did he hurt you?" He gently picked me up scanning my over with his optics.

"I'm wet, cold, and my head hurts," I growled slightly. He blinked before sighing in relief. They commed Ratchet to open a ground bride and they walked through I was quickly taken away by Ratchet for a scan.

"Amy?!" Anna called. She ran over as I was set down. I caught her in my arms so she wouldn't knock me over.

"I'm fine Anna," I told her holding her close. She breathed out.

"You might get sick if you don't get dried off, Amy." Ratchet said. I waved him off and headed to my room with Anna. I changed my clothes and collapsed in bed. Why did my head hurt so much?

"Okay, my lovely readers here you go. So sorry it took me so long. I am staying with my grandparents for a while. My grandpa has really bad short-term memory loss, and my grandma is about to have knee surgery soi am staying with them to help them out as they go through this. I will try to update as often as I can." Rubs my forehead. "Please leave a song, and or comment. I love you All!" frowns. "Oh, just so you all know I am having a really hard time right now. I have been having trouble getting out of bed and feeling trapped. I just lost my best friend. She didn't want to be friends with me anymore kind of complicated but yeah she was like my only friend so yeah. If it takes me a while to update I'm sorry.


	8. tears

**"Thank you all for understanding! I know you all love when I update I will try to keep working hard at it."**

 **Bibliophile1303 - Thank you so much! I love that you enjoy my work!**

 **Knockout Starscream - Thank you so much for your prayers! That means a lot to me. I'm sorry about your Mema.**

 **Horses and Giant Robots - Thank you!**

 **CyberQueen1826 - Thank you so much! I love these songs!**

...Amys pov the next day...

I woke from a very heavy thick fog, my head was still pounding and I felt like I had been beaten by the guys again. I growled slightly at the thought.

"Amy? Are you coming to school?" Anna asked. I looked at the clock. If I did not get up and get ready now I would be late. I climbed out of bed through some clothes on and headed out with her. I felt terrible but I was not about to stay here with Ratchet and Ironhide worrying themselves to no end. We met up with Jazz in the main room where he transformed and headed off to school.

"Morning girls." He greeted.

"Morning Jazz. How are you today?" Anna asked.

"Ol' Jazz is alright. Amy? You don't look so good. Are you sure you feel up to school?" He asked. Amy grunted in response. After school Jazz dropped Amy off at work for her shift.

"Hey, Amy." Her boss greeted. "Are you sure you are up for working tonight?" He asked seeing her not looking so good. She nodded and went in the back to change.

After an easy shift for once, she went out to Jazz. His holo-form had a worried expression on his face. She frowned more seeing it.

"Amy, Anna is sick." Jazz said. She immediately tensed.

"Step on it!" Amy snapped. Needing to be by her sister's side. Jazz did as told and raced back to base. As soon as they got back to base Amy rushed into med bay knowing Ratchet would have her there.

"What's wrong?" Amy asked as she slid to a stop almost falling over. Ratchet offered a servo and she hopped on.

"A fever, I'm trying to get it to come down." He replied setting Amy near her sister. Anna was sleeping with sweat on her face mumbling about something. Amy laid next to her sister wrapping an arm around her holding her close. If Anna was to fight Amy would be right there to help her fight.

"Amy I do not want you to get sick." Ratchet stated. Amy growled at him holding her sister a little tighter making him vent out. After waking Anna to take some medicine he let her go back to sleep. Amy never leaving her side. Ironhide and Jazz came in to see her but Amy didn't move. They both tried to get her to get some sleep or eat but Amy would just growl deep in her throat or ignore them.

When Anna finally broke the fever she could leave med bay Amy watching over her.

"Thanks for watching over me," Anna said holding Amy's hand as they walked through the main room. Amy nodded flexing her shoulders. "Did you sleep at all?" She asked looking up at her sister. Amy didn't reply. "Are you going to sleep now?" Anna pressed slightly. Amy bit her lip. Anna made a cute disproving face making Amy stop and raise an eyebrow at her. "You need sleep."

"Don't you want to go to the ballet?" Amy asked. Anna's eyes went wide.

"We're gonna be late!" The small girl ran off to get their things dragging Amy along. None of the bots knew Amy was taking ballet along with Anna they just thought she stayed to watch. Since Amy's bike hadn't been fixed yet she had Jazz drop them off.

"Welcome back girls! I hope you are feeling better Anna." Their teacher, Mrs. Charity, said. Anna nodded and smiled. Amy went off to change and meet up with the other girls her age to practice their routine for their Christmas show. The practiced and practiced until drenched in sweat until their knees and feet ached. The night they performed being less than three weeks away they needed to be ready. when the class was finally over Amy was trying not to tremble from exhaustion physically and mentally. Not sleeping for days on end not eating and barely drinking her body could barely take the strain. When they got outside drenched in sweat Ironhide's vehicle form sat in the parking lot.

"Remember Anna," Amy stated. Anna nodded. Knowing her sister was reminding her to not tell anyone she was in ballet class. The girls walked over and climbed into Ironhide Anna getting in the back.

"Hello, girls. How was that?" He asked not remembering the name.

"Ballet was good. Amy watched me." Anna replied. Ironhide glanced at Amy seeing her covered in sweat.

"So what did you do Amy?" He asked.

"practiced my dance for the concert," Amy replied smoothly looking out the window. Ironhide grunted in response.

...Ironhide's pov...

As I drove the girls back to base I couldn't help wonder about Amy. She was hiding something. I could tell but it didn't look like she was going to talk.

"Ironhide?" I heard Anna's soft voice from the back seat.

"Yes, sweetspark?" I answered.

"Is daddy okay?" My spark ached. I had gotten hurt in battle and had to leave them I knew they had gotten past a certain point but I had no idea if they were any closer to finishing their mission.

"He was just fine the last time I saw him," I replied. We soon pulled into the base and the two got out allowing me to transform.

Amy left the main room rather quickly leaving Anna with the rest of us.

"Ironhide. I have received word from Bumblebee." Ratchets voice quivered slightly. "He has been injured and is in need of assistance." I nodded, he powered up the ground bridge and I ran through to help the team scout.

...Amy's pov...

I headed to my room to take a very long shower. I needed to clear my head. was it so hard to just stop thinking about him? Why can't he just come home? I thought as I got ready to take my shower. When I got out and threw on some shorts and a tank top so I could crash in bed Anna ran in tears rolling down her face.

"Anna what's wrong?!" The panic in my heart raised as she ran into my arms crying her eyes out.

"H-he..hurt...n-not good...s-save.." She tried to explain but couldn't stop crying.

"Who Anna? Whos hurt?" I took her by the shoulders to look her in the eyes.

"B-Bee." She cried harder. My eyes widened and I pulled her close hugging her tightly. Bee was back and he was hurt. My heart ached, I wanted to go to him but I knew Ratchet wouldn't let me in while he was working on him so I picked up Anna and climbed in bed holding her. I pulled the covers over us as she clung to me. I laid there holding her close as she cried. I stroked her hair gently.

"He's gonna be okay. Ratchet will fix him." I said softly. She slowly stopped crying and soon fell asleep. I heard a soft knock on our door.

"Who is it?" I called quietly not wanting to wake Anna.

"Its Ironhide, may I come in?"

"Sure." The door opened and I sat up slightly. Anna wrapped her arms around my stomach in her sleep, holding me close. He walked close.

"I see she has told you." He mumbled softly. I sighed and looked down stroking her cheek. "Bumblebee is gonna be okay." I looked at him.

"Shouldn't you have told the one who came in here crying that?" I slightly snapped at him. Not liking the fact my baby girl was crying. He glared at me. I glared back daring him to say or try anything.

"I tried. She didn't give me a chance." He spoke roughly. "I just told her he was back and hurt and she started crying."

"Get out!" I snapped lowly. He looked taken aback.

"What did I do?"

"You don't straight up tell her, 'Oh Bee's back but he's hurt.' Of course, she's gonna start crying. She thinks of Bee as a brother and she thought you were saying he wasn't gonna make it." I told him. "Now get out!" He reached a hand toward my face and I flinched away growling. Anna shifted holding my waist tighter. Ironhide paused debating on what to do. He let his hand drop before walking out. I held Anna through the night until morning when she woke.

"Amy?" She mumbled.

"Right here, princess," I replied. Today being Saturday meant we did not have to go to school.

"Is B-Bee okay?" She asked.

"I'm sure he is just fine," I told her as I got up and stretched. I heard my phone beep and saw I had an email from work asing me to come in today.  
"Sorry baby girl I got called into work but you can go stay with Bee." She nodded and got dressed. I changed into my uniform and followed her out.

When we got into the main room Jazz and Ironhide stood there.

"Mornin girls." Jazz greeted.

"Morning. Jazz can you give me a lift to work? They need me to cover for someone." I said.

"Sure thing!" He transformed and I slid in before he took off.

"How's Bee doing?" I asked.

"He is alright Ratch says he's gonna be out for a couple days." He replied. I nodded. He pulled into the parking lot.

"Thanks, jazzy."

"When you get off?"

"I have no clue. I'll call when I do." With that, he drove off and I went to work. Bee is the only thing on my mind as I cleared tables and took orders. I thought back to when he tried to help me after they found out about what my father did to me. He told me to let him in, he pleaded and I wouldn't let him. The time I almost punched him when he touched my shoulder. I remember when we went on the drive and ended up getting shot at by a stupid con. I tried to keep my breath steady as I remembered when he nuzzled me when I woke after being taken by them. When he cried telling me he wanted to protect me but couldn't unless I let him in. He tried to get me to promise him that they wouldn't lose me and I never answered him.

I never answered him. That line kept going through my head till I finally finished work. I got out my cell and called Jazz.

"What up?" His voice answered.

"Jazz can you come to get me?"

"On my way sweet spark." He answered. Soon I was in his vehicle mode on our way back to base. "Ratchet says he's going to be just fine. After a while though." He answered the silent question. When we pulled into base I got out and went to medbay. I paused at the doors unsure of what to do. Swallowing my thoughts down I went in to see Bee laying on a berth in stasis. Anna and Raf were laying next to him, Ironhide sat in a chair near the berth, while Ratchet was checking something on his computers.

"You can come in Amy." Ratchet spoke. Ironhide looked over at me and offered a servo. I hesitated a second before moving toward and stepping onto it. He brought me up to the berth and set me down allowing me to get closer to Bee. Anna and Raf were sleeping curdled up near his neck, tears stained both their cheeks I could see them as I got closer. Slowly I climbed onto Bee's chest plats sitting on my knees I looked him over, he looked like he was caught by an explosion. I reached up and gently touched his face plates. After a moment a song came to mind and I let the song pass through my lips. I was going to sing this for Bee.

Jennifer Lopez - feel the light

Here I go here I go  
Feel better now feel better now  
Here I go here I go  
It's better now feel better now

Ironhide looked up at me I could feel his optics on me but I paid him no mind focusing on Bee, my adopted brother. He was always trying to protect me.

Do you remember when we fell under  
Did you expect me to reason with thunder  
I still remember when time was frozen  
What seemed forever was just a moment  
Hurry up, hurry up  
There's no more waiting  
We're still worth saving

Feel the light  
Shining in the dark of night  
Remember what we forgot  
I know it's a long shot  
But we're bringing it all back we're bringing it all back  
Feel the light  
Shining like the stars tonight  
Remember what we forgot  
I know it's a long shot  
But we're bringing it all back we're bringing it all back

I felt tears prickle in my eyes as I sang to him. He was so caring toward Anna he just lit up the room he was such a bright light. He couldn't leave Anna and Raf. He was Raf's guardian and Anna's big brother. She looked up to him in more ways than one.

Here I go here I go  
Feel better now feel better now  
Here I go here I go  
It's better now feel better now

I still remember when things were broken  
But put together the cracks will closin'

Hurry up hurry up  
There's no more waiting  
We're still worth saving

Feel the light  
Shining in the dark of night  
Remember what we forgot  
I know it's a long shot  
But we're bringing it all back we're bringing it all back

Ratchet walked over to the berth looking at the monitors near Bee before looking at me. I wanted Bee to hear my words. He needed to come back. Bring him back to me.

Feel the light  
Shining like the stars tonight  
Remember what we forgot  
I know it's a longshot  
But we're bringing it all back we're bringing it all back

You and I can have it all tonight  
So let's bring it back it to light  
Now we have another chance to fly  
Another chance to make it right

I could promise him I could make it all right he just needs to be okay.

Feel the light  
Shining in the dark of night  
Remember what we forgot  
I know it's a long shot

Feel the light  
Shining like the stars tonight  
Remember what we forgot  
I know it's a long shot  
But we're bringing it all back we're bringing it all back

Here we go here we go  
Feel better now feel better now

Here we go, here we go  
It's better now feel better now

Make it better Bee just wake up and it will all be better. I pulled my hand away from his faceplates and looked up at Ratchet.

"He heard you, He is trying my spark." Ratchets voice was low and comforting. I nodded.

"I should probably get them to bed," I said sliding off Bee. I carefully picked up Anna and set her on Ironhide's awaiting servo, I then picked up Raf setting him there as well. Ironhide picked me up with his other servo and headed toward my room. When he got there I took Anna into our room and laid her in bed, then went out and took Raf placing him in my bed. As I tucked them in I heard Ironhide transform and come in. Anna stirred and opened her eyes.

"A-Amy?" Her voice trembled.

"Shhh, Its okay my dear princess. Go back to sleep." My voice was as soft and quiet as I could make it.

"Sing?" She asked trying to keep her eyes open. I nodded and quietly sang.

Lavender Blue

Lavender blue  
Dilly-dilly  
Lavender green  
If I were king  
Dilly-dilly  
I'd need a queen

Whoa-oh, who told me so  
Dilly-dilly  
Who told me so  
I told myself  
Dilly-dilly  
I told me so

If your dilly-dilly heart  
Feels a dilly-dilly way  
If you'll answer yes  
In a pretty little church  
On a dilly-dilly day  
You'll be wed in a dilly-dilly dress of

Lavender blue  
Dilly-dilly  
Lavender green  
Then I'll be king  
Dilly-dilly  
You'll be my queen

Then I'll be king  
Dilly-dilly  
You'll be my queen

(Lavender blue, dilly-dilly)

By the end of the song, she was fast asleep once more. Ironhide walked up behind me and my body tensed. I swallowed hard stepping away from him and walking into the kitchen, of course, he followed.

"He is going to be okay," Ironhide spoke. I nodded and glanced up at him tears were trying to come out but I held them at bay. "You can let it out." His voice was soft. I looked away and my eyes caught my violin. I hadn't played it in a while. "Take it and go let it out in the way you know how." I looked at him and he gave a nod to the violin. "I'll watch over Anna and Raf." He spoke again seeing my hesitation.

So I grabbed my violin and ran out. I ran to the elevator and went up to the roof when I got there Thunder crashed in the distance rain threatened to fall but I hoped it would rain always helped me when I needed to let loose. After a while, it did start raining and I finally knew what to play. I set my violin in place and pulled the bow over the strings not knowing a bot was there recording I danced as I played. (If you know Lindsey Stirling just pictures how she dances.)

Where Do We Go - Lindsey Stirling

We're sailing  
We're sailing, aren't we?  
It's hard to tell the water from my tears  
"Don't worry,  
Have faith," they told me  
It was easier than in my younger years

A single tear fell down my cheek as I sang my heart out and played putting all of my heart into it. I hoped Bee would just come back don't say any Bee. Just come back to us.

Now that I'm older, now that it's colder  
Life keeps on crashing  
Day after day, like a wave after wave  
We did everything right and now I'm asking

Where do we go? Oh  
When our prayers are answered  
Where do we go? Oh  
When our prayers are answered but the answer is no

Tell me where the wind blows  
Tell me where the wind goes  
Where do we go?

We're dreaming  
We're dreaming, aren't we?  
'Cause you're still with me sometimes when I sleep  
This hallway, I'll walk it bravely  
And all the cliffs and fault-lines in between

I did dream of him I dreamt he was back with us holding me, protecting me from harm. Will he save me from drowning? Or will the final wave take me down under? I may never be able to resurface. I spun around using all my skill to let everything just fall off my shoulders.

Now that I'm older, now that it's colder  
Life keeps on crashing  
Day after day, like a wave after wave  
We did everything right and now I'm asking

Where do we go? Oh  
When our prayers are answered  
Where do we go? Oh  
When our prayers are answered but the answer is no

Where would I go if you left us, Bee? What would Raf do? What would Anna do? They both love you deeply. Please come back to us for their sake.

Tell me where the wind blows  
Tell me where the wind goes  
Where do we go?

Now that I'm older, now that it's colder  
Life keeps on crashing  
Day after day, like a wave after wave  
We did everything right and now I'm asking

Where do we go? Oh  
When our prayers are answered  
Where do we go? Oh  
When our prayers are answered but the answer is no

Tell me where the wind blows  
Tell me where the wind goes  
Where do we go?

I collapsed to my knees letting my violin fall to my side. I looked up at the sky as the rain poured down over my face. I tried to stop the tears so I sucked in a deep breath and yelled out of frustration and hurt. I didn't care who heard if anyone, as I yelled tears, came streaming down my face. When I stopped yelling I trembled sitting on my knees soaked all the way through the tears kept pouring down my face.

I heard a bot coming near me I looked over my shoulder to see Jazz. His optics were sad and worried. He kneeled down hovering over me to stop some of the rain that fell on me. He didn't say anything not sure what to say. I stood looking at him.

"I'm ready to go back inside." He nodded. I picked up my violin and bow and allowed him to pick me up and carry me inside.

 **I sat back in my chair flexing my shoulders. "Man, that was an emotion mixed chapter!" Looking at my readers. "How are you doing today? I hope this makes Y'all happy that I updated. I will try to stay on the next chapter so it won't take me so long. Please leave more songs!"**

 **Getting up I look around. "I miss my cats back home. Grandma's cats don't like me. I need a cuddly animal! Anyway, I love Y'all! please leave a review! If ya have any questions or comments please pm me!"**


	9. You are safe

**Me - *sits back in chair* "So it's been a rough couple weeks and I am doing my best to focus on this story. I did go back and rewrite the first story, Who do you trust? so a few things were changed but not much. Also! I really like to see how many readers I have so If everyone who reads this could leave a comment to let me know that would be great!"**

 **REVIEWS!**

 **sweetredranger - I love Carrie Underwood!**

 **Knockout Starscream - Thank you so much! As a Christain I am trying my best to do God's will but I am not perfect but will try my hardest.**

 **Horses and Giant Robots - That is a very deep song! Thank you so much!**

 **CyberQueen1826 - Thank you so much!**

Normal Pov.

Amy had past out in Jazz's servo from exhaustion. Jazz held her close to his spark in one servo and holding her violin in the other. Jazz com linked Ironhide to see what to do about her. Raf had her bed while Anna was in her own. Ironhide told him to set her in his truck form, that was currently parked outside the girl's bedroom door, to sleep. So carefully Jazz set her down in the back seat and left.

Ironhide turned on his heat to keep her warm and dry her off so she hopefully wouldn't get sick. A few times she shifted her position but would settle down again.

Ironhide's Pov.

I watched her as she slept. She seemed more at ease than ever before. Probably because she pushed herself so hard for too long. I just wish I could do more for her. She was only okay with physical contact when she couldn't feel any emotion but now that she was slightly better she didn't want human contact, or she wanted it but her body would tell her otherwise and fool her that all touch was just more violation.

I activated my holoform and went to check on Anna and Raf, I knew Amy would want that so I did. They were both sleeping soundly it was a good thing seeing it well after midnight. I dismissed the holoform and sunk into recharge leaving my sensors on high alert in case one of the kids woke before I did even though I do not require as much as they do.

I woke with a start on high alert something had woken me up very suddenly. Quickly glancing around In my back seat Amy was curled up in the fetal position her arms wrapped tightly around her legs, with her face pressed into her knees. I activated my holo form in the driver seat as to not startle her.

"Amy? Sweetspark, what's wrong?" I tried to keep my voice calm and gentle but I was worried. Her body tensed at the sound of my voice but she shook her head pressing it further into her knees. I did not want to make any sudden movements that might startle her. "May I sit beside you?" I asked after a moment of silence. She seemed to pause then nodded her head once. So I got out and pulled myself into the back seat beside her closing the door behind me. For a moment nothing happened and I was in no hurry to do anything that might make her go into fight or flight mode.

"H-Hide?" I barely heard her chocked whisper.

"Right here. I am right here and I'm not going anywhere." I told her gently turning my body so it faced hers. Slowly she looked up at me and then I could see the tear-stained cheeks. I slowly cautiously reached my hand to touch her face. I knew she needed some sort of comfort but I had to take it slow and be careful not to send her into a panic attack. Her eyes widened seeing my hand raising slightly. Immediately she shoved herself back away from me. Okay no major reaction, I gently took her wrist as she pressed her back into the door.

"Shhh, Amy. No harm is going to come to you. You are safe." I murmured gently touching her cheek with my fingertips she had looked to the side with her eyes closed, fearing I would hit her like those sagging man. I would never hurt her. Her breathing quickened slightly but otherwise no reaction so I let my hand cup her cheek gently guiding her to look at me. Her eyes were still closed. "Come on Amy, Open those eyes of yours," I told her rubbing her cheek with my thumb. Slowly her beautiful eyes opened and looked up at me.

"Y-You're not g-gonna h-h..." She stopped herself. I frowned slightly The last word was either, hit or hurt.

"No, sweet spark. I'm not going to hurt you. I will protect you." I spoke in a soothing voice as my rough vocal cords would allow. I guess it worked cuz she leaned slightly into my hand that held her cheek. Her eyes looked down.

"Why do you keep looking at me?" Her voice was quiet and soft. I didn't understand for a moment what she meant then I remembered what she had said before, how she thought she was dirty and used like some object to be thrown away.

"You are a very precious person, Amy. You are not an object. You are not dirty."

"Y-Yes I am! Th-They took i-it from m-me!" She was trying not to cry but several tears came from her eyes. I knew what she meant. I knew what they took from her.

"I know sweet spark but that doesn't make you dirty and used..."

"That's how I feel! I can still feel their hands on me. The way they g-grabbed a-and p-pinned me down. I can see it and feel it! All I am is a t-tool! That's all I ever was! I'm n-not good f-for anything else! I." I cut her off, I didn't want to hear any more. I pulled her wrist gently and she let me pull her into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her not tightly but loosely and softly, so she wouldn't feel trapped. She started shaking but didn't pull away she pressed her face into my chest and gripped my shirt tightly and just cried. I knew it would help in the long run, no matter how much it ached my spark to see her like this, to know how she feels. She still feels their hands on her. That explains why she didn't want to be touched.

Looking down on her I took notice of how small she was compared to my holoform. My holoform stood at 6 feet 3 inches compared to her 5 foot 4-5 inches. I was also a male who was bulkier than an average male. She could easily be hidden curled up against my chest with my arms wrapped around her. She was just so small. I would turn anyone who dares lay a hand on her into the scrap heap.

"Amy, You are safe. They will never lay a hand on you ever again." I spoke as I petted her hair with one hand while the other rested on her back.

"H-Hide?" Her voice hiccuped.

"Yes, Amy?"

"W-Will you s-sing?" I paused for a moment I had never done so before, but for her, I would do anything. So after a moment I picked a song and sang softly to her keeping my voice low as to not startle her.

Starlet-Point of no return (lyrics)

There's a memory of how we used to be  
That I can see through the flames  
I am hypnotized as I fantasize  
Forgetting lies and pain  
But I can't go back

The ashes call my name

Pouring the fuel, fanning the flames  
Breaking the habit and melting the chains  
Embracing the fear, chasing the fight  
The glow of the fire will light up the night  
The bridges are burning, the heat's on my face  
Making the past an unreachable place  
Pouring the fuel, fanning the flames  
I know this is the point of no return

All the pain is in her past, she no longer has to fight for her life she can now push it all away and make this the point of no return.

It's uncontrollable  
Such a beautiful desire  
There's something sinister about the way it hurts  
When I watch it burn  
Because I can't go back

The ashes call my name

Pouring the fuel, fanning the flames  
Breaking the habit and melting the chains  
Embracing the fear, chasing the fight  
The glow of the fire will light up the night  
The bridges are burning, the heat's on my face  
Making the past an unreachable place  
Pouring the fuel, fanning the flames  
I know this is the point of no return

I won't turn around

She pulled back slightly and I let her looking her over trying to read her thoughts was impossible. I hoped she understood that I wanted her to understand that threw the song I was telling her I wanted to help her overcome this.

"I like your voice." She said after a moment. For her, that was probably a very high compliment.

"Thank you, Amy." She looked away biting her lip. I didn't want her hurting herself so I used my hand to gently tilt her chin up to look at me using my thumb to touch her lips. "Please don't hurt yourself." She looked up at me and pulled away I released her and tilted my head to one side.

"S-Sorry, but I'm not used to... This." She gestured between herself and me. I nodded. Growing up she never had any good physical contact with men. Only violence, so it was completely understandable.

"I know sweet spark. You shouldn't have gone through what you did. I wish we found you sooner." She shrugged slightly.

"Anna wasn't touched so it doesn't matter much." She sat back in the seat.

"It does matter, they hurt you." I tried to see why she didn't care about herself.

"Hide, Did you ever love someone so much you would do anything to protect them?" She asked. I frowned but nodded. "If something happened to them would you blame yourself for allowing it to happen?" I sighed but nodded I knew where she was going with this. "I kept Anna safe because I made mom a promise that if anything happened to her I wouldn't let them harm her. Anna is my pride and joy. I-I wouldn't be able to live with myself if they got to her. So it makes it okay for them..." I cut her off with a snarl.

"It is NEVER okay for a sire to harm his sparkling!" She looked away. "You did keep Anna safe but that doesn't make it okay for him to still hurt you."

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore." She slightly snapped. She started tensing up and I couldn't help but think that she didn't like thinking about the fact she suffered at the hands of her father protecting Anna when it never should have happened.

"May I ask a question?"She raised an eyebrow at me.

"You just did." She stated. "But sure."

"Why were you crying earlier? Did you have a nightmare?" She turned away and tried opening the door but it was locked so it wouldn't budge.

"Open the door." She slightly growled her breathe was getting uneven.

"Easy, sorry I had locked the doors when you fell asleep." She seemed to pause at that. "Shall we check on Raf and Anna?" I asked unlocking my doors. She nodded and slipped out and headed to her room opening the door. They were both still asleep when we walked in.

Amy went to her dresser pulling out a new outfit she went to the bathroom to change so I let the holoform disappear and transformed while I waited for her to come out. When she came out she was wearing black shorts that were rather short, and a black hoodie. She wasn't wearing anything on her peds but she didn't seem bothered by it. I tried not to stare at the scars on her legs as I lowered a servo for her. Which she sat down allowing me to pick her up and set her on my shoulder. Her bare feet felt odd against my metal but I didn't say anything as I walked off to med bay to check up with Ratchet on Bee.

When I walked into medbay Ratchet was checking the computer that was hooked up to Bee. He looked over as I walked in and set Amy next to Bee. I looked at Ratchet and jerked my head to the door and he followed me out.

"How is she?" I had filled him in with what had happened this morning well not in detail but I gave him a rough story of what happened.

"She got upset and tense when I pointed out that a sire she never hurt a sparkling when she said it didn't matter as long as Anna wasn't hurt. She doesn't seem to want to comprehend that what happened should never have happened. They took everything from her and she protected Anna and it was for nothing! They never should have laid a hand on her!" I finished in a growl. He nodded.

"I know Ironhide. All we can do is be patient with her. and keep showing her that we can be trusted." I nodded. We headed back to the med bay but paused as we entered. Amy started singing.

Carrie Underwood ~ Love Wins (Lyrics)

A stray bullet and a momma cries  
Her baby won't be coming home tonight  
Sirens screaming down the avenue  
Just another story on the evening news, oh,  
Whoa

She was laying on his chassis her hands on either side of his face plates.

Politics and prejudice  
How the hell it'd ever come to this?  
When everybody's gotta pick a side  
It doesn't matter if you're wrong or right, no  
And so it goes, but I hold onto hope and I won't let go 'cause

I, I believe you and me are sisters and brothers  
And I, I believe we're made to be here for each other  
And we'll never fall if we walk hand in hand  
Put a world that seems broken together again  
Yeah I, I believe in the end love wins

Her voice was so soft and almost pleading. She claimed him as a brother. She wanted him to wake up so that they could be there for each other till the end.

Sometimes it takes a lot of faith  
To keep believing there will come a day  
When the tears and the sadness, the pain, and the hate  
The struggle, this madness, will all fade away, yeah

I, I believe you and me are sisters and brothers  
And I, I believe we're made to be here for each other  
And we'll never fall if we walk hand in hand  
Put a world that seems broken together again  
Yeah I, I believe in the end love wins

Love is power, love is a smile  
Love reaches out, love is the remedy  
Love is the answer, love's an open door  
Love is the only thing worth fighting for, yeah

She seemed to love Bee and wanted him to wake up. I knew Raf and Anna loved him but Amy. She was pouring her heart out in this song, she was trying to love, but can you love without trust?

I, I believe you and me are sisters and brothers  
And I, I believe we're made to be here for each other  
And we'll never fall if we walk hand in hand  
Put a world that seems broken together again  
Yeah I, I believe in the end love wins  
Oh, yeah, love wins

Love will, love can, love still, love wins  
Love will, love can, love still, love wins

She looked down when the song ended.

"Bee? You can get up now... Come on just tell them its a joke." My spark clenched and I looked at Ratchet. His faceplates fell hearing her plead with the bot. "Bee just wake up! You have to! You can't leave Raf and Anna like this!" She gripped his faceplates pleading with him. Ratchet walked over resting a servo around her. She looked up at him.

"He will be okay. In time. He will wake up soon." Ratchet said softly. Turning herself she wrapped her arms around his servo allowing him to pick her up. I knew that Ratchet and Amy had a pretty good relationship, I mean He was the first to find out what all they did to her. She had trusted him with the truth before anyone else. He was the lifeline she reached for. They would always have a strong relationship.

I watched as he cradled her to his chassis after a quick scan. He looked over everything on his computer scan. His eyes held lots of emotions in them, anger, fear, sadness, and regret? I walked over and rested a servo on his shoulder plates.

"You okay Ratch?" I asked him. He looked at me, down to Amy and to his computer screen. I followed his gaze although the computer science stuff didn't make sense to me I could tell something was wrong by the way his shoulder plates sagged.

"What am I supposed to tell her?" He mumbled looking down seeing Amy had dozed off. His optics turned to me.

"What are you talking about?"

"I... Those men deserve to rot in the pit, Ironhide." I nodded frowning.

"I agree, what aren't you telling me?" He shook his helm.

"I won't say anything until Optimus has returned. He should be here when I tell her." I nodded in understanding. I heard Amy mumble something and we both looked down to see if she was alright. Her face was anything but relaxed. Ratchet ran a digit down her face and she relaxed after he did it several times. Then she jerked awake.

"Anna!" That startled both me and Ratchet.

"Easy, Amy. Anna is safe. You are safe." Ratchet told her. She looked between him and myself. She nodded.

"Ratchet?" He hummed in response. "Is it possible to... get rid of scars?" I froze. Everything went dead silent. I knew what the answer was and I knew why she wanted to get rid of them. She looked up at Ratchet and he looked at her before slowly lifting her to by at optic level with him.

"Where did this come from sweet spark?" He was trying to keep his composure and keep his voice steady. She looked away.

"I was just wondering." She mumbled. But both Ratchet and I knew she was hoping there was a way to get rid of her past pains. The marks that scar her skin a constant reminder of every day she was there at the hands of her father. No, he doesn't deserve that label. That mech is worse than a con! I watched Ratchets face fall into one of sadness he nuzzled into Amy's small body holding her close. Her arms wrapped over his cheek plates. No more words were shared for a long moment as they stayed that way. I looked away to give them a private moment.

"Hide." I looked overhearing Ratchet call my name. Amy had her arms out to me as a small sparkling would. I wrapped my servos around her pulling her close. I nodded to Ratchet and walked out of the med bay.

"I'm trying, Hide." Her small voice made me freeze in step and look down at her. She was tracing random patterns on my chassis with her finger. "I'm trying to be okay. I'm trying to get better." She looked up at me.

"We are here to help you with that," I told her. She looked away with that look in her eyes. The look of wanting to let go and let us all the way in but the hesitation from the past, the look that she gives when she is debating on what to do, take a leap of faith or pull back away.

"Amy?" I looked over to the hallway and saw Anna and Raf come out. Amy immediately wanted down and I gently set her on the floor and she walked over to the two kids, She got down on one knee and pulled them into a tight hug. When she pulled back The two kids ran off to med bay and Amy ran off to her room. I watched her go. I figured she might need time to herself so I let her go.

Amy's pov.

I ran into my room and slammed the door closed and slid down it to the floor my breath coming in quick short gasps. What did I do?! I let him hold me! I let him touch me and it felt... How did it feel? My mind screamed at myself. I grabbed my head with both hands trying to calm myself down but nothing was working. I used to be able to hide it all in the short span of 2 seconds. I could hold it in as long as I wanted to but here. Here It kept coming out, My panic attacks getting worse the harder I tried to hold it in.

Why am I so stubborn? Why is this so hard? I let him touch me and hold me and yet I'm still afraid? What is wrong with me?

I crawled away from the door and into the bathroom I needed a way to let this out without letting the bots in. What did I do before? Nothing I was in pain constantly because of father... Pain. I pulled myself up against the sink. That is why this is so hard. I'm not in pain anymore. Did I miss being in pain? Did I want the pain back? They almost always cut me, when they did and my blood flowed out, I knew I was still alive. It hurt yet filled me with relief.

I looked in the mirror. They wouldn't notice if I did, I always wore long sleeves nowadays. It would be easy to hide...

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 **"Well this just got tense." *rubs hands together* "Please leave a Review so I know who all reads this story. Please and Thank you. Leave a song too!"**


	10. Sorry, Liar, and breathe

**I want you all to know I get really excited when I get reviews on my stories! It makes me smile and makes me feel I am doing something right. So please continue to leave a word, comment, song or questions!  
**

 **Now on to responding to the reviews I have recieved from the last chapter!**

 **sweetredranger - I grew up listening to them as well! I really love them, and those songs are on my favorites list! :) Thank you for reviewing!**

 **Knockout Starscream - Thank you! I am doing alright. Some days are better than others. My grandparents test my patience everyday and I hope to head home in the next couple weeks. I am glad you love my story I will try not to disapoint you in this chapter! Great song by the way!**

 **CyberQueen1826 - Thank you so much! I try my best to capture what Amy is feeling and what old Hide is thinking. What Ratchet knows makes my spark clench in pain. Its no and I have a debatable relationship, I like seeing how my readers react to it. But i can't stand it when someone leaves me with a cliffhanger. So I will update soon!**

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 **Normal pov... A few days later...**

Amy, Anna, and Raf just got back from school with a lift from Jazz. Anna and Raf took their homework to the med bay where they would do it then fall asleep curled up against Bee. It was normal. After they fell asleep Amy would go in pick them up to give them to Ironhide or Jazz and then put them to bed while Amy would either sleep with Bee or on the couch in the main room.

She wasn't uncomfortable around Ironhide but she seemed slightly unsure of how to act around him since that day. She would greet him in the mornings and after school but there wasn't small talk. Ironhide was worried about her but was not going to push her into anything but his patience was not the best and he did not want to see her fade away. Jazz talked with her but if he brought up anything to do with her past or pain, she would shut down and stop talking. So he would talk to her about music class.

Amy had gotten her bike back and was taking Anna to ballet class, and coming back drenched in sweat claiming she was just training but Ironhide knew she wasn't being fully truthful with him and he was getting a little tired of the lies, he didn't want to push her but that might end up being what she needs.

Amy had finished her homework in her room, her thoughts consumed with Bee. Would he awake and be okay? She wanted him to wake up. Was that being selfish? She just wanted him. He brought so much life to the room he was in. Like he was bringing her back to life. After changing into work out shorts and a hoodie Amy grabbed the laptop she and Anna shared and took it to the training room. She looked up a song pressing play she stretched out before flipping her way through her thoughts.

 **Amy's Pov**

 **Hailee Steinfeld - Back to Life (I did take out some of the lyrics. Requested by Knockout Starscream!)**

[Intro]  
'Cause I'm bringing you back to life

[Verse 1]  
Our love's enough  
Transcending us through space and time  
It's holding up  
It keeps you and me intertwined

All I wanted was for Bee to wake up. I needed to know did he love me? Did he really care about me? I think he does but these thoughts keep clouding my head. I wanted to be held by him yet I was afraid not of Bee but simply afraid. I did not know why I still feared being hurt.

[Pre-Chorus]  
What's a pipe dream if you ain't trying to do it?  
What's a heartbreak if you ain't crying all through it?  
What's a sunset if you ain't riding into it?  
Let's drive into it

[Chorus]  
'Cause I'm bringing you back to life (Back)  
And I know that you're gone but I swear that you're here  
It's a feeling that won't disappear  
And you're bringing me back to life (Back)  
I was looking for something that I couldn't find  
It's a feeling you give me inside

Bee gave me this feeling inside when he was close and I couldn't figure out what feeling it was. Do I feel safe when He is close by? He is concerned about me and all I've been is stubborn. I still haven't promised him. He wanted me to promise and I have yet to do it. Although now I'm not sure I can. I don't think I will ever be able to after what I've done.

[Verse 2]  
Our memories  
They're more than just our history (Our history)  
They lift me up  
They flow like electricity (No, no, no)

[Pre-Chorus]  
What's a pipe dream if you ain't trying to do it?  
What's a heartbreak if you ain't crying all through it?  
What's a sunset if you ain't riding into it?  
Let's drive into it

[Chorus]  
'Cause I'm bringing you back to life (Back)  
And I know that you're gone but I swear that you're here  
It's a feeling that won't disappear  
And you're bringing me back to life (Back)  
I was looking for something that I couldn't find  
It's a feeling you give me inside

Bee just wake up already. Come back so we can create more memories like fire. Bring me back to life. I feel like I'm going to fade away again. Please just come back to life. Don't leave us without your light!

[Bridge]  
I can see you in the night  
Coming through like flashing lights  
When the world is passing by  
Oh, oh, oh  
I can see you in the night  
Coming through like flashing lights  
When the world is passing by  
Oh, oh, oh (Oh)

[Chorus]  
'Cause I'm bringing you back to life (Back)  
And I know that you're gone but I swear that you're here  
It's a feeling that won't disappear  
And you're bringing me back to life (Back)  
I was looking for something that I couldn't find  
It's a feeling you give me inside

When the song ended I leaned against the wall to catch my breath. I heard some commotion coming from the main room so I walked out to see what was going on. I stopped as soon I stepped foot out of the hallway. Ironhide and Jazz were toes to toe growling at each other.

"You know why we can't do that Hide! We have to wait! We can't jus' do whateve' we want! She is going through a lot and if we push her..." Hide cut Jazz off.

"You think I don't know that!" He growled shoving Jazz back. "I know what happens when we push her! I've done it! But I will not sit back and watch her fade away again!" I felt my own shoulders sag. They were talking about me. I bit my lip, now I feel like a complete burden.

"None of us want to watch her do that again Hide! But we can't just force her to open up!" Jazz replied with anger shoving Ironhide back. The bots locked arms glaring at each other.

"Will you two stop it! I don't need you waking An..." Ratchet came out of the med bay to scold them but stopped when he saw me. The other two bots followed his gaze.

"Amy, how awful long have ya been a-standin' there?" Jazz asked as he and Hide released each other. Jazz took a step closer to me as I looked at him than to Hide and back again. I shook my head at them slowly and turned and headed back down the hallway. "Wait for a second Amy." Jazz called. I heard him and Hide following me but I ignored them as I stalked back into the training room. I went to my laptop pulling up a song as they came in.

"Amy?" Hide's voice sounded soft but I didn't bother to look over when I heard them transform. I pressed play stood and sung along as I flipped back. I pretty much turned it into a dance play. Dancing to match the song and the feelings behind it.

 **Little Toy Guns Carrie Underwood (Requested by sweetredranger!)**

In between the coats in the closet  
She held on to that heart shaped locket  
Staring at a family flawless  
But it ain't a pretty picture tonight  
Mom and daddy just won't stop it  
Fightin' at the drop of the faucet  
Cuts through the walls catastrophic  
She's caught in the crossfire

Puts her hands over her ears  
Starts talking through the tears  
She's saying, she's praying.

I did as the song said putting my hands over my ears as I sang out, hoping they would get the message. I always spoke better through music than regular words. I felt a hand on my shoulder but I pulled back spinning away gracefully as the song continued. I wanted them to know what it felt like. I wanted them to know I felt each bang.

I wish words were like little toy guns  
No sting, no hurt no one, just a bang bang  
Rolling off your tongue (I wish words were like little toy guns)  
Yeah, no smoke, no bullets  
No kick from the trigger when you pull it, no pain, no damage done  
(I wish words were like little toy guns)  
And just a bang bang rolling off your tongue  
(I wish words were like little toy guns)

Wish there was a white flag waving  
Or that they were both just faking  
And it was just a game they were playing  
Like shoot'em up, cowboys  
Leave the plastic pistols in the front yard  
Throw away the score card  
And just turn off all the noise.

I raised my hands up and throwing them back as I sang plastic pistols before covering my ears as I sang noise. Why did they have to fight? Why? I wasn't worth the stress! I wasn't worth all of this!

I wish words were like little toy guns  
No sting, no hurt no one, just a bang bang  
Rolling off your tongue (I wish words were like little toy guns)  
Yeah, no smoke, no bullets  
No kick from the trigger when you pull it, no pain, no damage done  
(I wish words were like little toy guns)  
And just a bang bang rolling off your tongue  
(I wish words were like little toy guns)

I looked at the two holoforms as I sang out pleadingly as I ran my hands through my hair gripping it tightly. Hide stepped forward and again I spun away from him.

Oh I wish they didn't cut like a knife  
I wish they didn't break you inside  
I wish they didn't bang bang make you wanna run, yeah

I dragged my fingers over my hoodie sleeved arms as I sang cut you like a knife. Jazz took a step forward this time but I stepped back shaking my head as I sang trying to stay strong and not let emotions get in the way. I hated being weak around them.

Like little toy guns  
No sting, no hurt no one, just a bang bang  
Rolling off your tongue (I wish words were like little toy guns)  
Yeah, no smoke, no bullets  
No shot from the trigger when you pull it, no pain, no damage done  
(I wish words were like little toy guns)  
And just a bang bang rolling off your tongue  
(I wish words were like little toy guns)

Oh like little toy guns

I stood there breathing deeply looking between them as they stood there.

"Sorry fer upsettin ya." Jazz was first to speak. He sounded sincere but so did 'they' at first. I crossed my arms not sure of what to say.

"We are worried about you and I don't want you keeping yourself bottled up." Hide spoke. Looking between the two they had major differences. Jazz was a lot more laid back and relaxed with everything. More easy going and soft. Ironhide was a lot rougher, He can be soft but he was firm he pushed people, and kinda scary although I would never admit that to anyone.

I still didn't know what to say so I bit my lip and looked away. I heard a low rumble come from Hide and he walked over I took a step back but he grabbed my wrist making my eyes go wide. His hold was firm yet gentle all the same I tried to pull away from him but he wouldn't let go, only pulled me closer.

"L-Let go!" I tried to snap but it came out weak. His unoccupied hand tilted my chin up and his thumb rested on my lips as he had done before.

"I told you, I didn't want you to hurt yourself." Oh if he only knew. I was trying not to shake but my body was not responding.

"Calm down, Amy, You're safe." I heard Jazz say. I tried to pull away again but he wouldn't release me. "Hide?" Jazz questioned. Hide's gaze on me was starting to scare me. I wouldn't meet his gaze trying to get his hand to let go. Why wasn't I fighting? Why wasn't I doing everything I could to get away? I usually fought with everything I had, but now? I wasn't even throwing a punch. Was I afraid he would hit back? Would he? My eyes widened at the thought. I knew he was stronger than 'them' so it would hurt a lot worse but didn't I want pain?

"Amy?" I thought I heard someone call my name but my head was getting cloudy, my vision wouldn't focus I could feel their hands. Something snapped.

 **Jazz pov...**

Amy had been trying to get Hide to let her go but he wasn't budging and this concerned me but she wasn't fighting like she usually does. All she was doing was pulling away and pushing Hides hand with her own. I did take notice of her eyes widening a look of absolute terror crossed her eyes barly but it was there.

"Amy?" I called her name her face going pale. Something in her snapped. She started fighting like a hell-cat as Miko had put it once.

"L-Let go! I don't want it!" She screamed trying to yank herself from hiding, but he wouldn't let go he pulled her closer and held her as she started to beat against his chest.

"Hide what are ya doin!?" I went to get him to let her go but he growled deep in his throat at me.

"S-STOP IT! PLEASE! I'M S-SORRY!" She was panicking, even more, her body fighting, She wasn't trying to but her body was telling her to. And her mind was agreeing with it. Hide held her firmly to his chest as the fight slowly started leaving her and soon she was trembling in his arms, more than I've ever seen anyone. "P-Please, I-I c-can't. I-I'm s-s-sorry." Her breathin was coming in short gasps. Hide jerked his head at me and I walked closer not sure what he wanted me to do but I followed him as He sat on the floor against the wall his legs stretched out in front of him with her in between them. I sat to his left. I reached over and started petting her hair as Hide gently rubbed her back.

I couldn't help but feel bad for the little femme. Why were some humans so cruel to treat their own sparklings this way?

"Jazz, I heard a scream is Amy okay?" I got a comlink from Ratchet.

"She will be Ratch, Hide and I are taking care o' her," I replied.

"Be careful with my spark, Ratchet out." He growled before shutting his com link off. I paused petting Amy's hair when she moved. At first, I thought she was trying to get away but she was just adjustin herself, she was barely awake with tear stains on her cheek. Hide helped her adjust so she was curled up slightly on her side with her head on his chest above where the human heart would be.

"Hey, sweetspark," I spoke softly letting my fingers trail down her cheeks. Her eyes weren't focused on making me frown deeply. "Amy?" No response. "Hide she ain't respondin what do we do?" I looked at him. He was quite for a moment.

"Ratchet says sometimes during abuse they would block it out by turning all their senses off so they wouldn't have to feel it. I have a feeling Amy did this only some of the time with those pit spawned glitches. If she did it everytime they might have gotten to Anna." He spoke moving Amy to cradle her in his arms. "Ratchet also told us that if we were holding her to turn on the special add on he did to the holoforms so she could feel our sparks through the holoform."

"How do we get her out of dis state?" I looked from him to the girl who lay limply in his arms. She was so small and fragile weather she admitted it or not. She was way to young to have fought a war.

Hide's hold on her tightened slightly as he spoke softly to her. "Amy, you are safe. No one is going to hurt you." Her eyes blinked once before she looked up at him.

"C-Can y-you let g-go now?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Depends." Hide replied moving some of her hair from her face. She frowned biting her lip but freezing and releasing it when Hide growled softly.

"D-Depends on what?" Hide looked at me.

"What do you think?" I blinked.

"Well, Amy, Now dat your calmer, I want ta know somthin." She looked over at me. "Why are you sorry?" She dropped her gaze. "Ya don't have ta answer now, But I want ta know. Kay?" She nodded once and I looked at Hide.

"Now, I will let you go if you will not avoid, run, or hide from us. Understand?" She seemed to debate it but nodded knowing there was no other way out of it. Hide stood up holding her before settin her feet on the ground as I stood but didn't pull his arms from around her. "Now is there something you want to tell me?" I looked at Hide and frowned deeper. He had that look in his optics, he was askin about somethin specific whether she knew it or not. She shook her head looking away. I could tell the way that made him frustrated but he held it in.

"Shall we go check on de others?" I asked. She nodded pulling away from him and he let her. She seemed to sway on her feet slightly but walked over to Ironhide's truck form. Now I was super confused. She was more comfortable around a giant alien robot then a holoform? I watched Hide transform and gently pick her up. I soon followed.

 **Normal pov...**

The two bots with Amy headed to med bay she seemed to be pulling herself together so Anna and Raf wouldn't see her like that. When they reached med bay Ratchet was fuming. He stalked over glaring at the two bots before taking Amy looking her over.

"I'm okay Ratchet. No scan needed." She told him before he could scan her. He paused. Looking her over with his optics, she did not appear to be in any pain but she always hid it well, but he simply nodded.

"What happened?" He asked her as he gently ran a digit over her back. She kept her gaze away from Hide and Jazz as she replied.

"Hide wanted m-me to stop biting m-my lip and to open up. Jazz wants to know why I'm sorry." Ratchet looked over at the other bots before letting it go."Alright. Its about time to get the kids to bed." He said.

"I'll take them." Jazz spoke up. Amy tensed up watching him closely as he walked over to where Bee was still lying and gently picked up to the two kids who were snuggled up against his neck cables. Jazz than nodded to Amy and walked out.

 **Ironhide's pov...**

"I'm sorry!" Amy spoke up startling both Ratchet and me.

"Why sweetspark? What are you sorry for?" Ratchet asked holding her close to his face plates.

"Please, I'm sorry! Don't be mad!" She hid her face in her hands. She was shattering in his servos and neither of us knew what to do.

"Amy, you have nothing to be sorry for. We're not mad." I told her.

"B-But H-Hide." She turned slightly to look at me. "I-I hit you. Th-They a-always hit back." She was terrified my holoform was going to hurt her.

"Why are you sorry?" I looked into her eyes but she dropped her gaze again. For a moment Ratchet and I didn't say anything.

I looked at her she looked like she shattered as a glass plate dropped on the floor, never to be the same again.

"Why is this so hard?" She asked her voice sounding defeated. Ratchet cradled her above his spark.

"I do not know my spark. But you will get through this if you let us help you." He told her gently. She nodded in reply. "Now I think you need some sleep, Amy, Where do you wanna stay tonight?" She looked at Bee then she glanced at me before dropping her gaze. She didn't reply.

"I'll take her with me," I spoke stepping forward to take her from the medic. She didn't abject instead after Ratchet nuzzled her she reached out to me. It seemed she felt safer with my real form than with my holoform. I nodded to Ratchet after securing her to my chassis and walked out to my quarters.

When I laid down on my berth I placed her on my chassis keeping my servos over her keeping her gently in place. After a moment I felt her small fingers trace random patterns on my chassis. She was battling so many emotions right now.

"Thanks Hide." Her voice was not shaky and it wasn't cold. It sounded normal for her.

"You're welcome. Goodnight Amy."

"Night." She mumbled curling up under my servos. With that I allowed myself to slip into recharge.

 **Normal pov... The next morning.**

Amy woke and rubbed her face tiredly before looking up at Hide's face plates. He was still in recharge. Amy tried to get up but found it to be impossible with his servos gently holding her in place so she laid down and watched him. Until he onlined his optics.

"Mornin." Amy greeted, she didn't sound happy or sad, just kinda there, but not the numb kinda there just there.

"Morning Amy. Did you recharge well?" He asked. She shrugged stretching slightly. They both jumped hearing a loud crash and yelling. Hide jumped up holding Amy he ran out of his room, down the hall and stopped in the main room seeing Bee stumbling around, Jazz was on the ground against the wall and Bee seemed to be looking for something.

"Bumblebee?" Hide called. Bee turned and pointed his gun at Hide. "His protective protacals have been activated." Hide muttered setting Amy down. That's when Raf and Anna came running in.

"Bee!" They both called and that caused the bot to freeze. His gaze landed on them and he put his gun away kneeling down as the two kids ran to him.

 **Amy's pov...**

I watched Raf and Anna run to Bee as he kneeled down for them. He sat on the floor holding them both to his chest plates. I bit my lip watching them. I did not want to take this moment from them I knew they had missed him just as much if not more than I did.

"Ouch, jeez man dat hurt!" Jazz said standing and rubbing his helm. Hide chuckled at him.

"Maybe next time don't get in his way."

"Sorry Jazz," Bee mumbled after a moment, he looked over to Jazz still holding Anna and Raf close.

"It's kay scout. No harm done. Although you may want to head back to medbay. Ratchet won't be too happy dat you left." Jazz replied. Bee nodded and with help from Hide went back to the med bay. He is awake. He is okay. Nothing is gonna happen. Right? I stared at med bay doors for the longest time. What if something goes wrong? Is he really okay?

"Amy?" I jumped at the sudden voice. I looked over to see Jazz had kneeled down and his face plates were rather close to my own. I blinked at him.

"Yeah, Jazz?" I finally spoke.

"Do you want me to take Anna to ballet today?"

"No, that okay." I inwardly cringed at out quickly that came out. Jazz gave me a confused look but nodded. "We need to get to school soon though," I said. He nodded and I went to my room to change and grab Anna, Raf, and my backpacks for school. When I got to the main room Ironhide had transformed and had helped Raf and Anna into his back seat. I walked over and climbed in.

"Amy, Bee is awake!" Anna told me with a huge smile on her face. I gave her the small smile back that told her I was listening. "Ratchet said his protective protocols kicked in when he woke up and he was looking for us wanting to know if we were safe." She explained looking at Raf. I smiled faintly as I looked out the window.

"I'm glad he is awake now," I told them. We pulled into school and they ran off. I paused with my hand on the door. "I'-I'm gonna take Anna to ballet after we get to base after school." I looked over at Hide he nodded. I headed into school to deal with yet another day. It went by okay, Music class came soon and we all sat on stage looking at 'Mr. Solstice.' we were getting ready for our concert that was in about a week.

"Now class, I know you're all excited for dis. I am to its exciting and all but we still need to practice so we can blow dem all out of da water!" With that, we went through some of the songs and moves we needed to work on before Jazz dismissed us.

"Hey, Jazz." I greeted tiredly. He smiled at me and pulled out and headed toward the base.

"How was school?" He asked. He was relaxed one hand on the wheel the other relaxing at his side.

"It felt long but otherwise okay. How was the base?" I replied sinking into the seat slightly.

"It was alright for da short time I was there." He grinned. When we pulled into base Anna had her's and my ballet bags ready to go. "Are you sure you don't want a lift?" Jazz asked.

"No thanks Jazz," I told him heading over to my bike. Hide frowned at me but I didn't look at him. I knew he was wanting to ask questions but I didn't want to answer them. Anna got on my bike behind me and after putting our helmets on I headed off to ballet.

We had about two weeks for the ballet performance. It was great to have time after the concert with the music class and the ballet to relax maybe. I'd probably just practice more. When we pulled into ballet Anna went off with her group and I met up with mine. I was surprised when I was handed a violin but when they told me about a slight change I was excited. I liked this new change. After ballet, we were all soaked in sweat from head to toe.

It felt good to work hard I thought biting my lip, I really need to stop before Hide gets angry. I sighed picked up Anna and headed back to base.

When I pulled in I told Anna to take a shower before going to Bee. She nodded and ran off ahead of me. Hide was the only bot in the main room.

"How come you're covered in sweat?" He asked.

"I was practicing," I told him with a slight glare. He transformed rather fast and his holoform stepped out.

"You are not being completely honest with me youngling." He spoke sternly as he stalked toward me.

"I-I was p-practicing in the o-other room," I told him. It was kinda true. I didn't say it was in another class and practicing ballet. He continued his path toward me. I dropped my bag stepping away from him my eyes widening as he advanced. My back hit the wall my eyes stared up at him as he stopped in front of me, He placed his left hand right beside my head and leaned his face right next to mine as I turned it away from him.

"Liar." His voice growled out. My breath hitched as He said that word.

"N-No, I'm n-not l-lying." I stuttered and tried to remind myself why I haven't told them about this yet. Well, Ratchet wouldn't be too happy that I started while my knee was hurting and I don't remember any other reason. His other hand braced against the wall beside my waist making my body start to tremble.

"I will ask one more time and I want a very specific answer. What were you doing?" His face was so close to mine I could feel his breath against my cheek. I didn't want to answer, I had no idea how he would react so it took me a moment to answer.

"I-I was i-in c-class." I gasped out trying to breathe while trying not to panic. He tilted his head to one side.

"What class?" He asked. I knew he wouldn't give up now that he had me cornered so there was no fighting it now.

"B-Ballet. I a-am in a different group then A-Anna." I kept my gaze away from his. I didn't know how he was going to react.

"How long?" I bit my lip and he growled deep in his throat making me shrink down. I tried to slid down but his hand beside my waist moved to hold my back making me freeze. He now could hold me in place as long as he needed or wanted too. "How long?" He repeated.

"A w-week or so a-after d-dad l-left," I replied.

"Your knee wasn't healed yet. Why would you push yourself like that?" I heard him almost growl out. I shook my head keeping my eyes from meeting his but he leaned in closer making me freeze. "Look at me." I didn't want to, I couldn't. He was going to have that look in his eye. I couldn't tell him why he wouldn't understand. No one understands me. Why was he doing this to me?

"Amy, Look at me." His voice was breathtakingly scary calm. Slowly I forced myself to look up at him his gaze was stern, fierce, and soft all in one. His eyes were so blue, he looked like a hardcore marine with his muscles. His hand on my back was firm yet not forceful, he knew that the simple touch would keep me from sliding down the wall into a heap on the floor. the hand that he had placed by my head touched my hair, feeling it with his fingers before gently petting me like one would pet a cat. His eyes never leaving mine as he let the back of his hand trail down my cheek.

"Breath, Amy, breathe." Only when he said that did I notice I had been holding my breath, slowly I breathed in and out keeping my eyes locked with his. Why did I want to lean into him? I felt safer with him as him, not his holoform. "Why would you push yourself?" He asked. I couldn't hold his gaze any longer dropping it.

"I don't like feeling like I can't do anything. I don't like anything holding me back." I answered slowly. He nodded after a moment.

"I know but you could have messed your knee up worse, Amy no wonder it took so long to heal." He told me with a sigh.

"Amy?" Hide pulled away hearing Anna's voice. I looked over seeing her in her pink pj's.

"Yes, Anna?" I replied stepping closer to her.

"I just wanted to let you know I took my shower and going to lay with Bee." She told me looking adorably tired. I nodded to her and she walked off to the med bay. Before I could walk away Hide reached out and snagged my wrist not hard but it made my eyes meet his. I didn't pull away this time allowing him to hold my wrist.

"Please stop pushing yourself." He said softly. I nodded. "I mean it."

"I'll try," I told him. He nodded and let go of me, I rubbed my wrist that he had it was covered with my hoodie but it felt a little better after I gently rubbed it. I picked up my bags and headed to my room so I could finish my homework.

The image of Hide pinning me to the wall kept flashing in my mind except for half the time I would see my father instead of Hide. It made it very hard to focus on my homework but I finally got it done and went to change into my black sleep shorts and my black hoodie. I sat on my bed debating with myself. 'Why won't you let him hold you without a fight? Cause you don't want him to do what they did.' I answered myself. 'yeah but you like his touch don't you? You want it right? Or does it feel like their hands all over again? Does his touch make you feel safe or sick?' I couldn't answer myself and looked at the floor.

After a while, I heard a knock on my door.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, Amy it's Jazz." I stood and walked to the door opening it to see his holoform.

"Is something wrong?" He shook his head.

"No, but I wanted to let you know I was about to bring Anna and Raf to bed." I nodded.

"Okay, the room is all theirs," I replied.

"Are you kay? I heard what happened wit ol' Hide." I shrugged. He paused a small frown tugging at his lips. "Bee was askin for ya earlier. Said he needed ta talk wit cha."

"Did he say what for?" I frowned biting my lip.

"Nah, but I'm sure dat there is nothin to worry bout, and didn't Hide tell you to stop that?" He replied pointing at my lip. I sighed and he grinned. I slowly made my way to the med bay with Jazz. When we walked in Jazz went over and took Anna and Raf who were both asleep out to put them to bed.

Ratchet was standing by the berth Bee was on and was shining a light into his optics. I locked my hands behind my back and waited. I looked around med bay taking note of a few broken tools.

"Oh good, you're here." I looked up as Ratchet spoke and gave a curt nod walking over to him. He picked me up and set me on Bee's berth and walked out. I watched him leave and stared at the doors even after they closed. I felt something touch my back and turned to see Bee's worried gaze upon me. He touched a single digit to my cheek trailing down my arm before slowly wrapping his servo around me. I didn't say anything as he lifted me up to be close to his faceplates. I dropped my gaze from him I did not want him to see my mixed emotions.

"I missed you." He spoke after a few moments. I looked up and touched his face plates.

"I missed you too," I said quietly. He nuzzled his face plates into me gently. I didn't know what else to say I heard him turn on the radio to play a song.

 **Avicii ~ Hey Brother (Requested by CyberQueen1826!)**

Hey brother! There's an endless road to rediscover  
Hey sister! Know the water's sweet but blood is thicker  
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you  
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do

Hey brother! Do you still believe in one another?  
Hey sister! Do you still believe in love? I wonder  
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you  
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do

Do I still believe in anything? Is love even a real thing? I love Anna and Raf and I would do anything for them to keep them safe. I would lay down my life if I needed to. Anna and Raf both knew that.

What if I'm far from home?  
Oh, brother, I will hear you call!  
What if I lose it all?  
Oh, sister, I will help you out!  
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you  
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do

Bee pulled me closer to him, he wanted to help me but if I didn't let him anything was going to work. I had to let people 'help' me. I was never good at that. Bee was telling me he would do for me what I would do for Anna and Raf, Anything.

Hey brother! There's an endless road to rediscover  
Hey sister! Do you still believe in love? I wonder  
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you  
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do

What if I'm far from home?  
Oh, brother, I will hear you call!  
What if I lose it all?  
Oh, sister, I will help you out!  
Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you  
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do

He wanted me to be safe and okay, he held me close as the song ended and he turned the radio off.

"I don't want to lose you, Amy. You are my sister, I would do anything for you." He told me.

"Bee, you don't need to do that," I told him but he shook his helm at me.

"That's what families do, and we are family." He replied. I nodded. With that, he laid back on the hospital berth and rested me on his chassis and we both fell asleep.

* * *

 ***Groans rubbing my face.* "Well So far only 3 reviews which is great but I went back and noticed I lost a lot of readers sense the last story. Oh well as long as some of you are still here." *Smiles.* "Anyway please let me know what you think. Till All Are One!"**


	11. You are beautiful

**"Hey guys! I was having a little bit of trouble with this chapter but finally figured it out." *Sighs deeply.* "I was going over my other story Jack has a sister and came over some flaws so I did take that story down for whoever read it. I will be re writing it and putting it back up but this story will always be my top priority." *Looks at the snow* "Stupid snow go away. Anyway I hope you all are staying safe and warm. Please enjoy!"  
**

 **Knockout Starscream -Thank you so much! I will keep updating as often as I can!**

 **sweetredranger -Thank you, sorry I didn't use any of your songs this chapter but please leave more I love listening to music!**

 **CyberQueen1826 -Thank you!**

 **Bibliophile1303 - Yay! I'm glad you are still with us!**

 **Bowser22 -I am so happy to have another reader! I hope you feeling emotional was a good thing if not I am sorry. Have a great week and drive safe! It has been snowing and slick the last few days.**

 **Horses and Giant Robots -Thank you for the songs I love them!**

* * *

Bee was almost fully recovered thanks to Ratchet and keeping a close optic on the scout, who did not want to stay in medbay, But Anna and Raf kept him company for as long as they were allowed and then Amy would come in and visit with her brother. It was still a little tense around Ironhide but less than it was. Now that her being in ballet class was no longer a secret she was wanting to invite the only bots that were here to Anna and her performance. It was in about a week while her concert was just around the corner.

Today music class was staying late to go through the entire performance one last time before the concert. They had all their costumes in the back dressing rooms and they set up all the lights for tomorrow night. Although Amy was not excited about her outfit she was slightly excited about this concert, it was well-organized thanks to Jazz.

After we went through the entire course we had a meeting sitting on the edge of the stage. It was late everyone was tired, feeling the hours taking their toll.

 **Amy's Pov...**

"That was great! I am super proud of each and every one of you and I cannot wait to blow da roof of displace tomorrow." Jazz spoke standing in front of us. "Tomorrow we need to be early so I want everyone here by 6 no later you can come earlier than dat if you can. But for now, go home and get lots of rest sleep in since its Saturday tomorrow gets well rested and eat well. I will see you all tomorrow." With that we all got up and headed out I waited till it was just Jazz and I standing in this huge room. He was looking at the stage with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"You alright?" I asked him standing close to him.

"Yeah, I was jus' thinkin." He answered glancing at me.

"What about?" He looked back to the stage.

"How great y'all are gonna look up there tomorrow." I reached over and squeezed his hand once before pulling my hand back. He smiled at me. "Let's head back ta base."

When we pulled into base Ratchet was waiting.

"Hey, Ratchet what's up?" I greeted trying not to let the panic I felt in my head show on my face.

"I was wanting to talk with you." He kneeled down and offered a servo. I walked over and stepped onto it, he stood and walked into med bay. When he got into med bay he sat at his desk setting me down on it. "How are you feeling?" He asked. I frowned.

"I'm alright. How are you?" I replied he seemed to be trying to read me with my body language and facial expression. I tried to remain still and calm. His optics bore into me making me feel like he knew.

"Are you sure?" He asked after a long moment. He was asking to see if I would tell him, I didn't think he knew specifically what he wanted me to say but he knew something was up. I looked away. "Does this have to do with you not wanting me to scan you?" A swallowed hard biting my lip. His servos wrapped around me pulling me close to his chassis. "You know you can come to me about anything don't you?" His voice was worried. I hesitated but nodded once. "I am worried about you my spark. I do not want anything to happen to you." He murmured lifting me to his faceplates. That made my face fall, he was worried about me I could tell, and he wanted to help but wasn't going to push me.

I wrapped my arms around his faceplates not wanting to be stared at anymore and just wanting him to hold me. Just this once all I wanted was to feel safe and Ratchet provided that, he held me for a long time no more words were exchanged.

After a while Ratchet let me down so I could go do my homework, I felt bad for not telling him but how could I? I did not want to see his face when he found out if he ever does. When I got to dads room I noticed Ironhide's truck was sitting there he was probably in our room. When I walked in he had Anna on his lap helping her with her homework. I frowned slightly but didn't react as I went to my desk.

"Hey, Amy." Anna greeted. I looked at her gave a small smile and nod before turning to my studies. How did I feel about Hide holding my little girl? Was I jealous? No, I wasn't. Was I afraid? I was afraid he would hurt her. She seemed happy to be with him. Since dad wasn't here Ratchet and Hide stepped up to take up the male role of the house. I still wasn't sure what a dad did. I guess I will look it up later tonight after Anna goes to sleep.

While I was doing the last bit of my homework Anna had gotten up and came over to stand beside my desk. Not looking up I spoke.

"Yes, Anna?" I asked. She didn't say anything so I stopped what I was doing setting my pen down I looked up at her so she would have my full attention. She was playing with her fingers with a thoughtful expression on her face. "Anna? What is it?"

"I was wondering about tomorrow night after the concert..." She trailed off. Okay from that short sentence she was wanting to do something after the concert. I gave a quick glance to Ironhide who was watching us he looked just as curious as I felt.

"What about after the concert? Did you want to do something?" I asked. She looked at me and nodded.

"I was wondering if we could have Miko over for a sleepover and do fun stuff." She mumbled the last part but I heard her. I blinked she had never asked me to have someone over for a sleepover. I sat back in my chair folding my arms and looked over my little sister regarding her with a thoughtful expression.

"What fun stuff did you have in mind?" I asked her. "I'll need to know so I can pick up the supplies when I go to the store." The biggest smile broke over her face and she threw her arms around my neck.

"Thank you!" She giggled. I held her tightly for a moment before letting her go.

"So write down a list of anything you want and need and then I'll go to the store," I told her she nodded and went to her desk to write it all down while I went back to finish my homework. After a moment a list was placed by my hand before Anna ran out calling.

"Thank you so much I love you!" She ran off leaving me to my homework and I think Ironhide was still in here. I heard him walk behind me.

"How's the homework coming along?" He asked placing his hands on the back of my chair leaning over my shoulder to look at my papers.

"Almost done," I muttered trying not to focus on him so I could finish it. After 10 minutes I was done and packed it up into my backpack. His hands landed on my shoulders stopping me from getting up. I tensed but didn't say anything I figured he wanted to talk.

"You're a really nice sister." He spoke. I tilted my head back to look up at him before resting my elbows on my desk and placing my head in my hands.

"I wish Hide," I mumbled. His hands gently squeezed my shoulders.

"You are. You did a good job with her. She is growing up to be a beautiful young woman such as yourself." I shook my head.

"No, not like me Hide, She looks just like mom and she will grow up to be just as beautiful as our mom. I wasn't so lucky." As soon as the words left my mouth Hide's grip tightened and he spun me and my chair around to face him. I held my breath not out of fear but just out of habit my eyes locked with his. His gaze was stern and slightly harsh, I dropped my eyes not wanting to be stuck under his gaze.

"Amy, you are a beautiful..."

"I don't believe that." I interrupted him gently. "I never have, Hide. It's not easy to believe something that was just used as something for satisfaction is beautiful. I got my looks from 'him' I didn't get moms beautiful features." He frowned deeply and stayed quiet for a moment his eyes seemed to dim slightly for a minute before lighting up again and a few seconds later the door opened and Jazz walked in with a frown on his face.

"I think its time fer a dance." Jazz spoke as Hide stepped back from me. I raised an eyebrow at him confused. He smirked before reaching for my laptop. He opened it and pulled a song up before taking my hand. I swallowed hard as he pulled me up close to him. "Relax sweet spark. Its jus' you an me." He spoke softly as the song started.

 **Jonny Diaz-More Beautiful you lyrics (Requested by Horses and Giant Robots.)**

Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine  
Says she wants to look that way  
But her hair isn't straight, her body isn't fake  
And she's always felt overweight

Well, little girl fourteen I wish that you could see  
That beauty is within your heart  
And you were made with such care, your skin, your body, and your hair  
Are perfect just the way they are

I was 16 but I don't think that's what he wants me to see. I never really thought about looking different I just knew I wasn't that pretty, On the outside and the inside I was a rather dark person. Jazz gently traced a finger over my back where his hand held me close to him, gaining my attention. I looked up at him. He started singing along with the music as he leads me in a slow sway around the room.

There could never be a more beautiful you  
Don't buy the lies, disguises, and hoops, they make you jump through  
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do  
So there could never be a more beautiful you

He's saying I'm beautiful? Saying I'm not is lies? I couldn't be lying to myself about this... Could I? I mean what's so beautiful about me? My personality is a mess, I get into fights sometimes at school, I'm mean and secretive. What is beautiful about me?

Little girl twenty one the things that you've already done  
Anything to get ahead  
And you say you've got a man but He's got another plan  
Only wants what you will do instead

Well, little girl twenty one you never thought that this would come  
You starve yourself to play the part  
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true  
And He'll treat you like the jewel you are

I looked away from him at the thought of 'them' and what they wanted and what they took. Do I starve myself though? I eat sometimes with Anna. So I at least don't starve myself physically. Emotionally? I tell myself the truth.

There could never be a more beautiful you  
Don't buy the lies, disguises, and hoops, they make you jump through  
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do  
So there could never be a more beautiful you, more beautiful you

So turn around you're not too far  
To back away be who you are  
To change your path go another way  
It's not too late, you can be saved  
If you feel depressed with past regrets  
The shameful nights hope to forget  
Can disappear, they can all be washed away

Can I really be saved from drowning in the past that keeps pulling me down? All those nights and days I felt shame as they... I want to forget but how can I when they permanently scared my skin?

By the one who's strong, can right your wrongs  
Can rid your fears dry, all your tears  
And change the way you look at this big world  
He will take your dark distorted view  
And with His light, He will show you truth  
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl

That there could never be a more beautiful you  
Don't buy the lies, disguises, and hoops, they make you jump through  
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do  
So there could never be a more beautiful you  
There could never be a more beautiful you]

Am I really that beautiful that Ironhide would call Jazz just to do this for me? Am I really worth that?

"Amy, Ya are so beautiful ya don't even know it! Dat's part of what makes ya so perfect! Ya don't brag about it you don't try to hard fer it you just act like yerself, ya are kind, protective, and gentle, and dat's all ya need ta do ta be beautiful." Jazz explained. I frowned as I thought about it. Am I kind? Maybe to Anna and Raf but nobody else. I am defiantly protective. Gentle? Only with Anna and Raf everyone else I'm usually rough with. "You are beautiful." Jazz spoke again making me look up at him, only then did I realize I was still in his hold with his hand on my back his other holding my hand, and my other hand on his arm. I frowned I wasn't reacting the way I normally do.

"You are doing good Amy." Hide spoke from where he sat on my bed. I looked from Jazz to Hide. I was being held closely by an adult male and I was not freaking out.

"Yeah, thanks but I think I'm good now," I said pulling away from Jazz, not harshly, He pulled his hands back.

"Ya did good, Amy, ya didn't freak out dat's good. It's progress." Jazz told me. I nodded to him. "Anyway, you are very beautiful. Okay?" I shrugged at him.

"If you say so," I replied. I really didn't care never did care how I looked you can't change it if you do then its fake and its not the real deal. Ironhide stood and walked up beside Jazz.

"We do and Prime would agree with us." I looked away. Did I miss him why wasn't he home yet?

"I'll work on it hows that?" I told them. They nodded and left it at that. "Anyway, I need to go to the store," I said picking up the list Anna left fo me along with my phone and wallet.

"I'll take you." Hide spoke. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You know I do have my bike right?" He paused for a second.

"May I take you?" I rolled my eyes.

"I guess if you really want to." He smirked and let his holo form disappear along with Jazz. I walked out of my room as Hide finished transforming, he offered a servo which I climbed onto. He then stood and headed for the main room.

"Are you ready for your concert tomorrow?" He spoke after a minute. I frowned slightly and leaned into him.

"I guess as ready as I'll ever be. I just wish dad was back to see it." I mumbled the last part but he heard it. He rubbed a digit over my arm in silent comfort. When we got to the main room Anna and Raf were nowhere to be seen but they were probably off with Bee somewhere. So I shrugged it off. Hide set me down before transforming. I climbed into the passenger seat and we headed off to the store.

When we pulled into the parking lot he activated his holoform.

"You don't have to come in you know," I told him. He gave me a look.

"I do not want to let you out of my sight, someone could jump you." He replied. I sighed and got out. He followed a second later and followed me into the store. It wasn't fancy but it had what I needed so I grabbed a basket and headed for them, as I called it, girly section. I grabbed a new brush for Anna along with new cute hair ties and headbands. Then I picked out several colors of nail polish and face mask things they weren't on her list but they seemed like something she would like to try so I grabbed a few.

"What is all this?" Hide asked looking at the nail polish.

"Its paint for your fingernails," I told him. He gave a very confused face and I couldn't help but let a small laugh out, He noticed and smiled, I coughed into my hand and walked to the next item, snacks. I picked up some Doritos, gummy bears, and some chocolate bars, along with juice packs. I noticed out of the corner of my eye a couple boys looking at me with weird expressions not wanting to cause a scene here and now I grabbed Ironhide's arm. He seemed to immediately be on guard must be some unspoken agreement of ours, but he immediately started walking with me to the cashier.

"You okay?" He spoke quietly as I unloaded my basket. I gave a stiff nod. The lady smiled at me as she rang up the items and before I could pull out my cash Ironhide swiped a credit card I gave him a look of unbelief especially when it was approved. He gave a grin before taking the bags and my hand and leaving the store while keeping his guard up. When we got to his truck I really didn't want to let go of his hand but he released mine allowing me to climb in. When he got in he looked at me. "What made you tense up in the store?" He asked. I looked at him before looking out the window.

"Just some boys, they were giving me these... looks and it just made me uncomfortable, So I..." I trailed off looking down. I felt his hand gently take mine in his own, slowly I looked over to him. He had a happy concerned expression on his face from what I could tell.

"I will keep you safe." He stated it like it was a true fact with no questions. I nodded and held his hand with both of mine not wanting to let go. He smiled slightly and drove off to the base.

 **later that night... Amy's Pov...**

It was really late but I could not sleep tossing and turning in my bed. Finally, I decided I didn't want a chance of waking Anna up so I got up, grabbed my violin and headed to the main room, my destination was on top of the silo but Ratchet was still in the main room at the computer.

"Amy?" He looked over as I walked up to the platform.

"Hey, Ratchet, sorry I couldn't sleep so I was gonna go up top to play," I explained. He looked me over, all I was wearing were my black sleep shorts and my black hoodie. He offered a servo silently, I climbed on holding my violin and he walked off to the bot sized elevator and went up to the top. He stepped out looking around it was quiet and dark besides the stars and the moon shining in the sky. He kneeled down lowering his servo allowing me to slide off. I looked up at him and he had a tired and worried look on his faceplates. He then went over and sat by the ledge and just sat there. I bit my lip for a moment before positioning my violin properly and with Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Lindsey Stirling (Green Day Cover) not singing as I played I slowly moved my body as I played closing my eyes tightly just letting the music flow.

When I was finished I glanced at Ratchet he had turned so he could see me and had been watching.

"Are you okay Ratchet?" I asked. He frowned and vented out.

"Will you play something else? For me?" He asked softly. I nodded and pulled the bow across the strings and sang out.

 **SHATTER ME - Lindsey Stirling (Requested by Knockout Starscream.)**

I pirouette in the dark  
I see the stars through me  
Tired mechanical heart  
Beats til the song disappears

Somebody shine a light  
I'm frozen by the fear in me  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me  
So cut me from the line  
Dizzy, spinning endlessly  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me!

Shatter me!  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me!

I danced as I played letting the music lead me through the steps. I wanted to feel alive, I wanted to be able to live without fear, without the need for pain. I wanted someone to shatter me then help me back up all put together.

If only the clockworks could speak  
I wouldn't be so alone  
We burn every magnet and spring  
And spiral into the unknown

Somebody shine a light  
I'm frozen by the fear in me  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me  
So cut me from the line  
Dizzy, spinning endlessly  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me!

Shatter me!  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me!

I am very familiar with the unknown, although I wish I wasn't. I was frozen in fear but it won't hold me, I don't want it to, I want to let it loose and tell it goodbye. Won't someone shatter me so I lose everything I don't want to hold onto?

If I break the glass, then I'll have to fly  
There's no one to catch me if I take a dive  
I'm scared of changing, the days stay the same  
The world is spinning but only in gray  
If I break the glass, then I'll have to fly  
There's no one to catch me if I take a dive  
I'm scared of changing, the days stay the same  
The world is spinning but only in gray

If the glass breaks, if I break, then I will be forced to fly. Is that what I really want? Is there someone there to catch me if I take that dive? Or will I fall into the depth to live in darkness till the day I die? If I change will the days stay the same? I want to change I don't want to be this way anymore, but old habits die hard, very hard. The world keeps spinning in circles around me but all I see is gray, Where did all the color go? I want the color back. I want my life back.

Somebody shine a light  
I'm frozen by the fear in me  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me  
So cut me from the line  
Dizzy, spinning endlessly  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me!  
Shatter me!  
Somebody make me feel alive  
And shatter me!

I wanted someone to shine a light for me, I wanted to let go of this fear inside of me and take hold of something, anything else just let this fear go! I want to feel alive. I ended the song breathing deeply. I looked over to see Ratchet looking at me. I walked over setting my violin down before he picked me up and cradled me above his spark he rubbed a digit over my arm. I looked up at him and saw the look on his faceplates and then I knew, he knew. I looked down frowning deeply I wanted to run to hide something. I didn't know how he figured it out but he did.

"Sweetspark, I can't lose you. I-I can't." His voice trembled at the end. I stood in his servo and reached up to his faceplates, he brought me up to his faceplates allowing my arms to wrap around as much as I could. He nuzzled into me and just held me. "I-I know it's hard. I know it hurts my spark. Please just come to me. I can't lose you." He held me slightly tighter.

"Ratchet how did you..?" I trailed off but kept my voice quiet. He pulled me back slightly so he could look me in the eyes.

"Dear spark, I noticed the signs, you didn't want me to scan you, you keep wearing your hoodies more so than before. I looked up the signs my spark. I know it hurts, believes me I do I went through pain too. I-I just... I can't lose you." He paused looking into my eyes deeply.

"I love you, my spark."

* * *

 **Random question, What is your opinion on butterfly kisses? Let me know in the reviews.**


	12. I'm trying!

**OKAY! Butterfly kisses, yes there is a song about it but for those who do not know what they are I will explain in my own opinion. A butterfly kiss is a very simple kiss no head movement closed mouth simply pressing your lips against someone elses and holding it for a few moments. Often some dads do this with their daughters and moms with her sons.  
**

 **Now that you know what is your opinion on butterfly kisses?**

 **Knockout Starscream -Thank you for reviewing and great song!**

 **sweetredranger -It is a good song. Thank you so much! I love those songs!**

 **CyberQueen1826 -Thank you! Yeah I used to with my parents when I was really small.**

 **Horses and Giant Robots - I guess you will have to read and find out.**

* * *

 **Amy's Pov...  
**

I blinked once, twice and again. Did he really say that? I know Jazz has said it but Ratchet? He was the one I would run to if I wanted to he was always my first choice even though Ironhide and I have gotten closer. He said he loved me. Father never said that, Ratchet has been more kind and protective then he ever was. What did I think Ratchet was to me? A guardian angel, that's what he is to me. I looked up at him his optics were studying me as he cradled me in his servos.

"Ratchet?" Was I really going to do this?

"Yes, my spark?" He replied. His thumb running over my back I held in a shudder it felt nice but I wanted to tell him... Right?

"I can't seem to stop." I said slowly before looking away. I felt one of his digits gently tuck under my chin and carefully turn me to face him.

"Can't stop what?" The fear in his voice could be heard by anyone. I looked at him tears forming in my eyes. I just wanted so badly to be okay.

"Ratchet, h-help m-me?" My voice cracked as the tears started rolling down my cheeks.

"May I scan you?" He asked softly. I nodded trying to get the tears to stop. I felt the scan and his servos started to tremble after a moment, before he stood holding me to his spark with one servo and picking up my violin with the other and headed back down and straight to med bay. He set my violin down on his desk and set me down on a medical berth and then he transformed allowing his holoform to come over to me. I flinched when he reached out to me and I looked away not wanting to see the pain on his face. I asked him to help me and he was trying to why won't my body let me?

I glanced at him and the damn broke. He stood there with his arms open to me. I wanted so badly for him to hold me but my body would tell me no that he'll hurt me, Why couldn't this be easy? Father never had his arms open for me, not once did he care and tell me he would help me. Every punch every slap I could still feel it. The way they pinned me down while their hands ran over my body. I wanted it all to stop!

I threw myself at his holoform wrapping my arms around his neck as I trembled. His arms didn't hesitate to wrap around me holding me tightly. I could feel myself getting dragged into a flashback but I held tighter to Ratchet. This was Ratchet, a medic who has never caused me harm.

"Don't let it take me!" I cried out clinging to him, I didn't want to get dragged into the darkness, his hold on me tightened So I held onto him as tightly as I could for as long as I could keep the blackness away and then everything went black.

 **Normal Pov...**

Amy tried her best to keep from being dragged into fight mode, she held onto Ratchet like he was the only thing keeping her from losing it. Her body trembled terribly against him almost as if she was overheated and going to crash, and that's what happened the poor girl passed out falling limp in his arms. He didn't let her go not for one second. He did sit down holding her so he could roll up her sleeves and wrap her self inflicted cuts on her wrists. There weren't that many but she did say she couldn't stop so he feared she would do it again but he would be there to hopefully get her to stop.

With her wrists all wrapped up he laid beside her pulling her close for a moment wanting to just hold her. She was breathing deeply against his chest his hands rubbed her arms gently not wanting to cause her any pain, he let a hand cup her cheek running his thumb over it tenderly. After a few moments he let the holoform disappear and transformed before carefully picking her up and headed to his quarters.

 **The next morning...**

Ratchet laid on his berth holding Amy cradled against his chassis, after last night he was not wanting to let her out of his sight. She was so young and was to used to fighting for her life, It just wasn't right! He ran a digit over her back and she mumbled something shifting slightly curling up further not wanting to get up not wanting to move from the warm safe feeling she got from being here with him.

"Mmmm morning." She mumbled into his chassis.

"Good morning my spark." He spoke softly. "Did you sleep well?" She nodded against him before she slowly pushed herself to sit up, his servo following her, hovering over her, afraid that she would break if he let her go. She rubbed her eyes trying to wake up but not wanting to she curled up again falling back against his servo her hands rubbed over her wrists that had new bandages on them she looked up at him. He cupped his servo around her letting her lay there as he sat up.

"Thanks." She mumbled tiredly. He hummed in response watching her with a gentle caring expression. Slowly she sat up at looked at him tilting her head slightly one way, he thought it made her look extremely cute. She raised her arms up to him wanting to be closer to his faceplates. He brought her up to his face plates allowing her arms to wrap around as much as she could reach, His servos holding her steady as he nuzzled into her. "Thanks for last night. I'm sorry I'm so difficult, I don't know what to do sometimes and sometimes its just easier to hide it than to try to explain why I'm not okay. I just want to be okay so bad that I-" Ratchet gently cut her off by pressing his thumb to her lips ever so gently.

"My dear sparklet. I will never force you to do anything but please trust me. It aches my spark knowing that you..." He paused for a minute. "Please my spark come to me next time?" She could only nod against him not trusting her voice. For another few more moments they simply held each other.

"Today is the concert." She was not excited and she was not upset about it. Knowing her dad wasn't here to watch her it was just another concert. She held him slightly tighter. "Will... Will you come?" She bit her lip. He pulled her back from his face plates to get a better look at her.

"Of course I will be there." He replied. He stood from his berth and took her to her room setting her down by the door so she could get ready for the day. Anna was just getting up when Amy walked in pulling her sleeves down so Anna wouldn't see.

"Morning." Anna greeted with a tired smile.

"Morning dear, how'd you sleep?" Amy asked kissing her forehead.

"Pretty good. Are you ready for today?" Amy chewed on her lip as she picked out an outfit for today.

"Yeah, I think so." She finally replied.

 **Amy's Pov...**

I changed into some blue jeans a black tank top and slipped my hoodie on before putting on my combat boots. Anna had changed into a pair of pink leggings with jean shorts and a blue top, with her white sneakers. We walked to the main room and I went up to Ratchet who kneeled down I hugged his face plates nuzzling into his cheek before pulling back, my face felt strangely warm. He smiled and nuzzled me back before standing up and getting back to work that's when I saw Bee talking with Jazz and Hide. Anna had gone up to the platform where Raf was waiting with Jack and Miko, I hadn't seen them in forever.

I almost felt bad for being distant from them but there is nothing I can do now, I mean I scare everyone that doesn't know me. Although Miko has tried getting to know me and I guess it won't hurt to let her.

"Amy?" I heard Jazz's voice. I tore my gaze from the other kids to look at him and jumped, he had come closer and was kneeling rather close to me. "Sorry, didn't mean ta startle ya." He spoke with a slight grin. I shrugged looking up at him.

"It's okay Jazz." I told him. He has been so kind to me. "Thanks by the way." He tilted his head slightly.

"Fer wha'?" He asked. I reached a hand to touch his cheek.

"For being there for me." I spoke quietly before pulling my hand back and looking at Hide. "You too." Hide smiled at me and kneeled down beside Jazz.

"I'm just glad you are opening up more." He commented. I sighed and bit my lip earning a growl from Hide.

"Sorry!" I said quickly. "It's a habit Hide. I've always done it." I told him with a slightly irritated look. He gently touched a digit to my lips making me freeze going stalk still.

"I know it is but I want to help you break that habit." He told me gently pulling his digit back. I nodded and glanced at Bee who was waiting patiently for some reason. I looked at Hide. "Go with him for a drive." Hide told me and with that said Bee transformed and opened a door for me. I climbed in and he sped out of base.

I leaned back in the seat enjoying the feel of having him back. I was afraid we were gonna lose him. He flew down the road for a while before slowing down pulling over, he opened the door for me so I got out and watched him transform. He sat down and reached her servos out to me, I stepped forward letting them wrap around me and lift me to his chassis and just held me there for a long silent moment. I nuzzled into his chassis feeling one of his digits start to gently rub my back.

"I am worried about you." He spoke after a moment. I bit my lip hoping Ratchet didn't tell anyone about what happened last night. I rubbed my wrists not liking the feeling that me might know.

"Why are you worried?" I asked after a moment. He suddenly held me up to be optic level with him, the quick movement startled me making me grip his servos tightly.

"Why wouldn't I be worried? Amy. Ironhide told me about when he came back and how you were stuck in a deep depression and how you pushed yourself to the point where you passed out in Jazz's servos, and how you keep trying to hide things and Jazz told me about what happened with Hide and Ratchet says to keep an optic on you but won't say why. Why wouldn't I be worried sweetspark?" He listed off his face plates full of worry and concern making me look down. I hated worrying them yet everything I do makes them worry more. "Amy-" I cut him off.

"I'm trying Bee! I really am! Every time I think I'm better I-I just keep falling back. It's like I take a step forward than two steps back." I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. "I want to get better but my body does not want to. Being hurt like that for all those years makes it second nature to flinch and get away from grown males." I explained. "I mean I couldn't even hug Ratchet's holoform without panicking and I wanted to! I didn't want to let go! I wanted him to hold me and my body j-just sh-shut down." A few tears fell from my eyes as I started to shake. He pulled me close and rubbed my back.

"It's okay, Amy, it will take time. We will help you get better but you can't force yourself. Just relax and let it out." He soothed. "We will take it one step at a time." I gripped onto him tightly letting the tears fall until they stopped and when they did I whipped them away before looking up at him. "Sing what you are feeling or what you want." It took me a moment to think of a song but I started singing when I thought of one.

 **I Can Go The Distance - Hercules Lyrics (requested by sweetredranger.)**

I have often dreamed,  
Of a far off place,  
Where a great warm welcome,  
Will be waiting for me.

Where the crowds will cheer,  
When they see my face,  
And a voice keeps saying,  
'This is where I'm meant to be'.

I have dreamed of being in a place where I don't have to fight anymore where I'm at peace. A place where I don't have to fight to protect Anna and where I will finally get to rest. When I'm on stage people cheer for me after I perform, they say they like my voice and performance. Where is it that I'm supposed to go? No matter how far, I will go.

I will find my way,  
I can go the distance,  
I'll be there someday,  
If I can be strong,  
I know every mile,  
Will be worth my while,  
I would go most anywhere,  
to feel like I belong.

I am on my way,  
I can go the distance,  
I don't care how far,  
Somehow I'll be strong,  
I know every mile,  
Will be worth my while,  
I would go most anywhere,  
to find where I belong.

I want to be able to let Ratchet hold me and let Jazz dance with me and be able to be near the holoforms and people without going tense and going into fight or flight mode. I want to go the distance and do what ever it takes to be able to do this. I want so badly to feel safe in someones arms to just be protected.

(Reprise)

I will beat the odds,  
I can go the distance,  
I will face the world,  
Fearless, proud, and strong.  
I will please the gods,  
I can go the distance,  
Till I find my hero's welcome  
Right where I belong.

I wanted to beat the odds and get over this but how?

"We can do this sweetspark. We will help you we just need to take it slow. Like dancing you can dance with Jazz without um." he paused not sure what to say. I nodded understanding. He hugged me again holding me close for a long moment. "Are you ready for tonight?" I sighed softly.

"Yeah I guess. We should probably head back to base." I replied. He nodded and set me down before transforming. I got in and we headed back to base. When we pulled in Raf and Jack were on the plat form but Miko and Anna weren't so I headed off to check our bedroom and found them setting up a makeshift bed for Miko between Mine and Anna's bed.

"Hey, thanks for letting me sleep over after the concert." Miko told me. I shrugged.

"It's no problem." I replied giving Anna a small smile. After they set up Mikos bed they went back to the main room leaving me alone in our room not that I minded, I grabbed my sketch pad and let the pencil fly over the page, the more strokes I made the more it looked like Ironhide's truck, the longer I worked the better it got and more detail it got.

I heard a bot come into dad's room and transform followed by a knock on my door.

"Come in." I said focusing on my sketch.

"Hey, you bout ready ta go?" Jazz asked. I looked up and nodded. I set the sketch down and got up following him out and then we were off to set up for our Christmas concert.

When we got to school there were a few cars not many though considering it was still early so Miko and I made sure all the guitars were tuned properly and set in place as we waiting for everyone else to show.

 **Normal pov...**

The whole music class was gathered back stage all in their costumes for the concert. The guys had black jeans with red or green button up dress shirts, with silver ties. The girls all got dresses of red or green, depending on which would look better with skin eye color and that, they all had silver designs on them as well. The dress style was a long sleeved, knee length and the dress top acted like a turtle neck, it hugged the waist and flared out. They all had the option to wear silver leggings as well. Amy's dress was red and she wore the leggings and her combat boots, she had her hair curled in fine thick bouncing curls before throwing it into a high pony tale. Miko got a green dress and wore the leggins and her normal shoes as well.

When it was time Jazz sent them onto the stage ready to blow the roof off this place. Amy looked out into the crowd as she picked up a microphone, She met eyes with Ratchet seeing Anna next to him along with Bee.

Stacy, was singing while she played the piano, Lacy played her flute, Carrie sang, Brenda and Miko were on guitar. James played bass, Charlie played bass, Peter was also on guitar, Brandon played drums and Justin was our sound man while I sang and occasionally played my violin.

 **(In case anyone wanted to know here is the list of songs they performed It was written a different way in my head when I first thought about doing this but now that I'm here it's not flowing with that idea like I thought so I had to change a few things. Sorry If this was not as good as you had hoped. O come all ye faithful, All I want for Christmas is you, last Christmas by Taylor Swift, Silent night, and Mary did you know? In that order.)**

When they finished the curtains pulled closed in front of them allowing them to immediately start putting there stuff away. Amy's face had fallen, dad didn't make it. She breathed out shoving the thought aside as she changed before grabbing her violin case and headed out with Miko to meet up with the others. They were all waiting in the parking lot near their vehicle modes when she walked out and walked over.

"That was amazing you two. You made me very proud!" Jazz spoke first with a huge grin on his face. Amy gave a small smile in reply. Anna and Raf hugged her tightly. Miko grinned.

"Thanks Jazz, I had fun being on stage with Amy." She gently nudged Amy who nodded.

"Yeah glad you're back in music class." Amy replied.

"Well are you ready for our sleep over?" Anna asked giggling. Miko's grin widened.

"You two go ahead I'll be there in a little." Amy told them.

"Totally, let's go!" Anna grabbed Miko's hand and they got into Jazz's car mode and drove off, while Bee took Raf home leaving Amy with Ironhide and Ratchet. For a moment she just stood there unsure of what to do or say.

"You okay?" Hide spoke after a moment. She looked up at him and shook her head. He offered a hand and she took it in both of hers, taking comfort in his presence. "I'm sorry he didn't make it." She looked away. How he knew what she was thinking was beyond her but it still hurt. She wanted her dad back. She wanted him to see her perform as her dad.

"I did record it for when he comes back." Ratchet commented. Amy looked up and gave a faint smile.

"Thanks Ratchet, I'm ready to go back to base." She replied. Ironhide released her hand and gently nudged her toward Ratchet's vehicle, nodding to him she climbed into the passenger seat and he headed back to base with Ironhide following close behind.

"How does it feel?" He spoke softly. She looked at her lap running a hand over her wrist.

"Idk, I can't feel it." She replied. She didn't want to do it again but she craved it.

"Will you at least tell me when you want to do it again?" She hesitated not wanting to make him feel bad. "Even if its so I can properly take care of it." He added. She looked at him, he was worried and wanted so badly to help her and make her stop but being forceful would not help anything. He didn't want her to do it again and he would do all in his power to make sure she didn't.

"Yeah, I'll let you know if I feel like doing it again." She said softly. He nodded to her. When they pulled into base Amy headed off to her room for the sleep over.

"Amy we are gonna paint our nails first!" Anna giggled setting out a towel and the nail polish.

"Will you let us paint your nails?" Miko asked. Amy debated on just staying out of it but shrugged.

"Sure why not. I'll even let you pick the color as well." Amy replied. Their eyes lit up. With that Amy ended up with pink and gray nail polish, the pink was on her thumb, middle finger and pinky while gray was on the other two fingers. Anna had hers painted pink and purple and Miko went with Purple and black. then they did each others hair and told stories and ate snacks.

It was nice for all the girls to hang out with each other for different reasons, Miko was happy to be around other girls who didn't treat her like a freak or pick on her for her style. Anna was happy to be around people **without** having to worry about her own safety, and Amy, it was good for her to be around other girls and just be a teenager, something she was never able to do before.

They played truth or dare for a while and they all brought all the blankets from the beds down before falling asleep on the floor in a pile of blankets. When Hide came to check on them he smiled and took a picture to show Prime whenever he got back

* * *

 **It felt like it took me forever to write this chapter but Idk, Let me know what you think Please leave a review and song!**


	13. Hero

**I am back Just so you all know I am thinking about changing my username! I will let you know before I do it so you don't look for Autobotlover56 and can't find them lol.  
**

 **Horses and Giant Robots -Hmmm Sounds like a great Idea about the femme. :)  
**

 **sweetredranger -Thank you and great song choices!**

 **CyberQueen1826 -Thank you so much! I love Ratchet as well!**

 **Knockout Starscream -Thank you so very much! Great song by the way!**

 **Bowser22 -Thank you! I love Skillet very much!**

* * *

After the sleepover Amy, Anna and Miko spent more time together as a group even if Amy was just in the room sketching, they were constantly together as a group. Often Amy and Miko would hang out together whenever Anna was with Raf. Amy was slowly letting Miko closer then she had let others but still kept her at a distance, so that if Miko was to pull away or turn away from them it wouldn't hurt too much.

Over the next few days, Anna and Amy had extra ballet classes as they got closer to the performance, Anna was beyond nervous she was excited too but she was scared she was gonna mess up. Amy tried not to think about anything but perfecting her routine with the other girls in her class. Anna was in the training room by herself with a cd player in the corner playing the music so she could practice in her free time.

As she danced through the routine she would stop and start over if she didn't think she had it right, she was getting slightly frustrated at the brink of tears she sat down trying to figure out why she couldn't do it when Bee came in.

"Anna, what's wrong sis?" He asked kneeling down in front of her. She looked up at him.

"Bee? I can't seem to get it right. I don't want to mess up." She told him rubbing her eyes trying to make the tears go away. Bee leaned his faceplates closer to her and nuzzled into her till she started giggling. He smiled brightly.

"You aren't going to mess up, Anna. You dance beautifully." Bee told her rubbing a digit down her back.

"You think so, Bee?" She tilted her head cutely.

"No, I know so." He replied. She smiled brightly at him.

"Do you wanna dance to Bee?" She asked. He nodded and transformed activating his holoform.

"So I've looked it up on the internet but it's easier said than done am I right?" She giggled and nodded and tried to teach him ballet yet the young scout would tumble around making Anna giggle uncontrollably. "Are you laughing at me? Your poor brother?" He placed a hand dramatically over his heart faking hurt, making her laugh harder. Bee's face turned into a smirk and he walked closer, she saw the look on his face and with a squeal, she bolted out of the room in a game of cat and mouse. Bee let her stay just ahead of him as they ran into the main room Anna giggling all the way as she ran between Ratchet's legs making him look down and smile at the scene.

"Ratchet help!" She giggled running around his legs. He chuckled when Bee caught her around the waist and tickled her stomach. The child squealed with laughter and try to get away from the tickle monster.

Amy came running into the room and stopped seeing what was going on she frowned slightly biting her lip unsure of how to react to a game she never played. She then quickly turned and disappeared back down the hallway passing Ironhide in a rush to get back to her room. Ironhide frowned as she passed him heading back to her room.

Bee stopped his tickle attack, letting Anna catch her breath. "Bee! That was torture!" She smiled tiredly at him. He laughed and picked her up in his arms making her smile shyly and looked down.

"Are you hiding from me?" Bee nuzzled his nose against her cheek making her look at him. He cradled Anna in his arms as he made his way back to the training room with her.

"Hey, Bumblebee, Anna." Hide greeted with a smile. Bee smiled.

"Hi Hide," Anna replied giggling as Bee poked her side. Hide smiled brightly down at them. Seeing Anna happy made his spark leap for joy. He watched them walk back down the hallway.

"It's good to see Anna so happy." Hide spoke to Ratchet. Ratchet looked at him for a moment.

"Yes, but I can't help but wonder if Amy gets worried or jealous when Anna is happy with someone else." Ratchet told him. Ironhide nodded in understanding.

"I have seen the way she looks at me when I am with Anna. She is worried she is losing her to us. I don't blame her for feeling the way she does, but she needs to know that Anna will always be her little girl and Now They are both ours." Hide replied. Ratchet nodded in agreement. "Ratchet. What's been going on with Amy? I know you know something and I know something is wrong." Hide spoke again. Ratchet sighed deeply, he didn't want to tell him but he knew Ironhide could help same with Jazz but if Anna found out? It would tear her apart. Thinking about that made him wonder if Amy was going to hurt herself again.

"Not yet, Ironhide." Ratchet replied after a long moment of contemplation. Ironhide nodded in respect for the slightly older mech trusting him in his decision and knowing that Ratchet would tell him when the time was right. "I think we should check on Amy right now though." Ratchet spoke again after a moment and headed to her room. Ironhide frowned and followed.

If she was hurting herself Ratchet wanted to be there to help her get through it. Hide still didn't know anything about it and that might change.

 **Amy's POV...**

Bee was doing something to Anna and she was laughing! My princess was having fun and laughing with Bee! I could never get her to be that happy. I never played games like that. I didn't know was I so upset about this? Bee was my brother to and I wasn't jealous that they were a=having fun just... Was he taking her from me? Was that what this was about? He couldn't take her, she was mine first!

I needed a distraction, I locked myself in the bathroom and pulled out my knife but hesitated a second. Ratchet told me to tell him when I wanted to but I could tell him after. I needed the release, once, twice and again. Letting the sink turn red felt like a nice release.

"Amy?" Ratchet's voice called from the room. Why was he here? I didn't call him.

"What?" I replied keeping my voice steady while my hands shook. I didn't want him to come it just yet. I needed a minute.

"Are you okay sweetspark?" He asked.

"I just need a minute." I tried not to growl, standing over the sink so nothing would stain the floor.

"What are you doing?" Ironhide asked. I bit my lip looking at the blade of my knife coated in red. One of them tried to door to find it locked.

"Amy, please don't. Let me help you. Sweetspark, let me in, let me fix it." Ratchet pleaded. I wanted to let him but I needed the pain it distracted me.

"I need this, I need to feel it." I tried to reason with him, although my side wasn't logical. I knew deep down it wasn't but I didn't care. I wanted the pain, Right?

"Amy, whatever you are doing stop, it won't help you. We want to help you." Hide spoke again. "Would we ever intentionally cause you harm? Have we ever done anything but care for you and Anna?" I felt tears trail down my cheeks. They wanted to help me, why couldn't this help me? They were taking Anna from me. This. It distracted me from my thoughts and made me feel like I was the red flow it told me I was still alive, I needed to make sure I was still actually alive. Why was it so hard to just be okay? I felt my body tremble as I tried to hold in a sob. That's when I heard Hide start singing a familiar song and I knew he wanted me to sing the female part so I did.

 **Normal pov...**

Not knowing what else to do Ironhide decided to sing. He wanted her to come out on her own not to be forced.

 **Skillet- Hero (Requested by Bowser22)**

I'm just a step away  
I'm just a breath away  
Losin' my faith today  
(Fallin' off the edge today)

Amy sang out her part almost like a cry of pain. Ratchet had left to go grab what he knew she would need. Amy clang to the words almost as tightly as she held her knife.

I am just a man  
Not superhuman  
(I'm not superhuman)  
Someone save me from the hate

It's just another war  
Just another family torn  
(Falling from my faith today)  
Just a step from the edge  
Just another day in the world we live

I need a hero to save me now  
I need a hero (save me now)  
I need a hero to save my life  
A hero'll save me (just in time)

Amy knew she needed to let them be her hero but she wanted Optimus she needed him but he wasn't there so instead she would need to let Ratchet and Hide help her. She looked at the door debating on opening it. Ratchet came back with a small medical kit and Ironhide frowned deeply but continued to sing.

I've gotta fight today  
To live another day  
Speakin' my mind today  
(My voice will be heard today)

I've gotta make a stand  
But I am just a man  
(I'm not superhuman)  
My voice will be heard today

It's just another war  
Just another family torn  
(My voice will be heard today)  
It's just another kill  
The countdown begins to destroy ourselves

Amy let tears fall but gripped her knife tighter, she wanted to be heard she wanted to be helped but she didn't know how. She wanted to just be okay for one damn moment! Was that too much to ask? Was it too much to ask to just be happy? She wanted to let their holoforms hold her in their arms and tell her it was all okay. She wanted to sink into their embrace without fighting or falling into the dark.

I need a hero to save me now  
I need a hero (save me now)  
I need a hero to save my life  
A hero'll save me (just in time)

I need a hero to save my life  
I need a hero just in time  
Save me just in time  
Save me just in time

Who's gonna fight for what's right  
Who's gonna help us survive  
We're in the fight of our lives  
(And we're not ready to die)

Amy dropped her knife in the sink, she wasn't ready to fully give in she didn't want it. She honestly didn't want it she just knew it was a way to tell that she was still alive but it wasn't the only way. She glanced at the door, her heroes were on the other side and it was on her if she was going to let them in or not.

Who's gonna fight for the weak  
Who's gonna make 'em believe  
I've got a hero (I've got a hero)  
Livin' in me

I'm gonna fight for what's right  
Today I'm speaking my mind  
And if it kills me tonight  
(I will be ready to die)

A hero's not afraid to give his life  
A hero's gonna save me just in time

She protected Anna with everything she had and more, almost giving up her soul and yet here she is still standing and still fighting. Ironhide rested a hand on the door pleading with her to open up, not just the door but her heart. Amy gripped the door handle for a moment before letting her hand rest on the lock.

I need a hero to save me now  
I need a hero (save me now)  
I need a hero to save my life  
A hero'll save me (just in time)

I need a hero  
Who's gonna fight for what's right  
Who's gonna help us survive

I need a hero  
Who's gonna fight for the weak  
Who's gonna make 'em believe  
I need a hero  
I need a hero

A hero's gonna save me just in time

She was so tired of fighting just trying to feel an emotion, tired of feeling like she was losing Anna, tired of feeling like she wasn't anything but a tool. Looking down at her wrists tears poured down her cheeks, she couldn't believe what she had done.

She gripped the lock and let her fingers unlock it before throwing the door open and launching herself into the arms of whoever stood outside the door.

 **Ratchet's pov...**

I heard the lock click open and Amy threw herself into Hide's arms. Ironhide froze tensing up and I knew he saw her wrists. I stepped beside him, as he wrapped his arms around her, I rested a hand on Amy's back, She was clinging to him tightly. Being as gentle as I could I took her arm that she had hurt and placed a towel over it to stop the bleeding. She didn't flinch at my touch as I cleaned and wrapped her wrist she didn't even look at me. Just clinging onto Ironhide.

"Amy?" I spoke softly. In the blink of an eye, she had thrown herself at me wrapping her arms around my neck, I immediately wrapped my arms around her and held her closely. I was not going to let my little girl go again. I looked at Ironhide who was staring at her in shock, she had hugged him willingly and it made him worried and happy all at once along with myself. Last time she threw herself at me she ended up overloading. Amy didn't let go or loosen her grip only holding on tighter. "I've got you my spark." I murmured in her ear letting my hand hold her head gently.

After a long moment, she loosened her grip and pulled back slightly to look at me. I cupped her cheek.

"I'm sorry." She spoke softly looking away. Hide rested a hand on her shoulder.

"You don't need to be." He told her. "All you need is a little help adjusting to everything." His eyes held pain and sadness as he looked at her. He wanted to help her and make everything better. She gave a nod resting her head against my chest allowing me to continue to hold her.

After a while, Amy let go and went to practice her part for the dance recital. She told Ratchet she didn't want anyone to see it until that night so no one was to go up top until she was done.

When Amy came back down Ratchet picked her up and held her as he worked not wanting to let her go. She didn't mind all that much.

"Did you tell anyone else?" She spoke after a moment. He paused to look down at her.

"No, I wasn't going to tell anyone besides Optimus when he got back but Hide followed so he is the only other one to know." Ratchet replied. Nodding she snuggled closer to his chest plates. "We are not going to take Anna from you." She looked at him for a long moment studying his faceplates trying to see if it were true. She snuggled closer not seeing any sign that he was lying to her.

 **Dance recital day... Amy's POV...**

I woke up to the door opening and closing I blinked and sat up looking over at Anna's bed, she had slept with Bee last night so it wasn't her. Looking at the door Hide stood there waiting a moment before coming to my bedside. He sat beside me and looked at his lap. I frowned not understanding where his thoughts were.

"Are you okay?" I asked after a moment. He looked up at me with a confused expression.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He replied, his voice soft and quiet as he reaching his left hand closer to my face. I tensed slightly but didn't move as his hand cupped my cheek. His thumb rubbed my cheek gently, carefully, almost as if he was afraid I would shatter like a glass plate falling to the floor. I leaned into his hand and closed my eyes. I felt his other hand rest on my arm gently ghosting over a scar that his fingers landed on.

"Is this okay?" He asked after a minute. I opened my eyes to look at him. His eyes glowed brightly in the dimly lit room, I leaned closer to his face I don't know why but I wanted to. I reached a hand to touch his face my breathing was shallow at the closeness. His eyes searched mine as I searched his. He was looking at me with kindness, softness, and I think love? He was being so gentle with me. My father was never gentle with any of it.

"Yeah, it's just..." I bit my lip as I looked into his eyes. Wanting to find the words to make him understand. His hand moved from my cheek till his thumb touched my lip, slowly I released it from my teeth.

"Just what?" He whispered softly as his hand on my arm moved to my back and pulled me closer to him. I felt my face get slightly warm but I didn't say anything about that.

"Y-You're a lot different from my father," I explained tilting my head to the side.

"He was never your father." He told me gently. I looked away I knew he was right, he never was but it never made up for the nights Anna used to sit up and ask me why she couldn't be around her daddy. She did it when she was really little so I doubt she would remember it now but she stopped after she started to realize what was going on. Anna was denied a dad and was raised without a mother. She wasn't raised properly and it was my fault.

I could feel tears well up in my eyes as I realized that I had no idea how to act like a normal teenager I was more of a mother to Anna than a sister and a not very good one at that.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He spoke quietly as he cupped my chin tilting my head to look at him. "What are you thinking?" He asked.

"I failed," I told him trying to hold in the emotions but being this close to him being this vulnerable made it hard to have my walls up. He pulled me closer to his chest.

"Talk to me. Tell me everything."

"I couldn't raise Anna the way I should have. I couldn't give her what she needed. She barely remembers mom, she only remembers terrible things about him, she was always worried about me. I couldn't give her the life she deserves. I am more of a mother than a sister and a friend to her. I-I failed to keep her mind innocent. I f-failed to k-keep her from b-being a ch-child. N-Now she h-has e-everything b-but n-not because of me! I couldn't provide f-for h-her." I tried to stay strong but the tears started falling making my voice tremble. I felt Hide rub my back as I continued. "Mom is gone, and no matter how many times I wish her back she can't come and it's all my fault! Father, um he was always drinking, o-or m-mad, or both, so I h-had to push Anna a-away a little so she c-couldn't b-be hurt by being close to me. So we a-aren't as close as we should be." I looked up at him. "What do I do?"

"Amy, sparklet. You did not fail. You did your best and that is all anyone can ask for. Anna is healthy and happy all thanks to you." He spoke I tried to deny it but he nuzzled his nose against mine making me freeze. "You did all you could. Your mother would be proud." I nodded slightly careful as his face was still close to my own. He smiled softly. "Are you ready for tonight?" I shrugged slightly pulling back to flop backward onto my bed with a groan.

"I don't know Hide. I know all the steps and I know what I am supposed to do before and after. I just..." I trialed off rubbing my hands over my face. "I wish dad was back to see, I know its selfish and I shouldn't be so needy with it but."

"You are not being selfish or needy. You didn't get the attention you needed while you were younger it makes sense that you would need just a little extra now that someone is here for you." He spoke standing up. "Plus it'll be cute when you start acting slightly needy." I blinked looking up at him, he was smirking at me. I rolled my eyes.

"I haven't ever been a needy person," I told him as I sat up.

"Not yet but you will be I can tell." He replied his smirk growing into a grin.

"Sure." I rolled my eyes playfully. "Now get out so I can change."

After getting dressed I headed out, Ironhide was waiting for me in dads room. He picked me up before heading to the main room where Ratchet, Jazz, and Bee were. Anna was on the platform with Raf watching a movie as I was set down.

"Hey, Amy." Raf greeted. I gave a small smile. and sat beside them.

"Are you ready for tonight?" I asked Anna. She thought about it then nodded.

"I think so. Bee helped me practice the other day." She replied. I glanced at Bee who was talking with Jazz. I shouldn't be upset that he was having fun with Anna, I should be happy for them.

The day flew by and soon it was time to head out. We were supposed to be there early So Hide and Bee drove Anna and I there Ratchet would join later and Jazz would watch base just in case if anything happened.

 **Normal POV...**

Amy and Anna were backstage both dressed accordingly. Amy took her sister by the shoulders and gazed into her eyes.

"You will do great. I am so proud of you." Amy told her. Anna smiled and hugged her sister.

"Thank you. You will be great too." She said before heading off to her spot on stage. Anna's group was going on first and then they would get their pictures done after, while the stagehands changed the stage setup for Amy's group.

The curtains were closed as Anna and her group took places on stage as the music started the curtains opened and the lights dimmed. Amy stood with the other girl's in her class watching the little girls dance around the stage.

 **www. /watch?v=S0RINMiwyEk (BELIEVE Pointe Group)**

 **watch?v=-gApOfm4qd0 &pbjreload=10 (Tchaikovsky - Swan Lake - four little swans)**

Amy smiled brightly watching Anna move she was so beautiful! Just like mom, she would be so proud of you. Amy thought to herself. As the music faded the croud clapped as the curtain closed. Quickly all the pictures were taken of Anna's group and pictures of them by themselves still in costume before being sent to wait with their parents while the older girls performed. Amy gave Anna a tight hug before she went to meet up with Ratchet.

When the older group took the stage, Amy was trying to stay focused and not let her thoughts distract her from performing to the best of her abilities. She was going to do this for Optimus, even though he couldn't make it.

 **Let It Go (Requested by sweetredranger. Also the outfits they are wearing are the ones from the Lindsey Stirling music video Carol of the Bells - Lindsey Stirling)**

The group froze in the end stances for a brief moment before moving into place for the next song, Amy moved to take her violin from a stagehand before getting into her stance.

 **Carol of the Bells - Lindsey Stirling (If you watch the music video Amy is Lindsey Stirling.)**

After the curtains closed pictures followed, the picture guy had them do group pictures first before doing individual girl's Amy was asked to help in the back till it was her turn. When she got on stage the curtains were open and everyone was gone, she frowned slightly as she took her place on stage doing different poses for the picture guy.

"Very good Amy, now please do a spin for me." He said. Nodding once she stood on her toes of one foot lifting the other up in a graceful ballet twirl. When she stopped herself she heard clapping from a single set of hands, looking over to the aisle that leads between the seats up to the stage was a very familiar face, he walked forward clapping several times with a huge smile on his face, his eyes glistened brightly. Her eyes grew wide as she took a step forward her hand going to her heart.

"D-Dad?" He opened his arms as he got closer to the stage. Without a second thought, she ran and leaped off the stage right into his arms, hers wrapping around his neck while her legs locked around his waist clinging to him tightly as she trembled in his arms that kept her tightly against him.

"I'm here my spark, I'm here." He murmured softly.

"Wh-what about Anna?" Amy pulled back slightly not wanting to keep him from Anna. He smiled softly pulling her closely.

"I have seen her my sparklet." He told her.

 **Flashback... normal pov... Right after Amy and Anna left the base.**

The bots had just sent Ratchet a com to send a ground bridge for them so they could return to base.

"Are you all uninjured?" Ratchet asked as they came into the base. He looked each of them over as they came into the main room.

"Yes, Ratchet, we are all okay. Where are Amy and Anna?" Optimus replied looking for them on the platform.

"Boss bot tonight they are performing a ballet." Jazz pipped in with a grin. "They both think you aren't going to make it. In fact, none of us have told them that you are back." Optimus nodded.

"I will go and watch, the rest of you are welcome to recharge or come with," Optimus told them before transforming along with Ratchet and heading off. They got there just in time to see Anna take the stage. Optimus's eyes misted slightly seeing his princess on stage performing so beautifully. When they were done, Optimus followed Ratchet to get Anna so she could watch Amy with them. Prowl, Bulkhead and Acree went to get some well needed Recharge.

"Hey, Ratchet! What did you think?" She grinned twirling at the top of the backstage steps. Ratchet smiled at her holding a hand up to help her down the stairs, although she didn't need help she took his hand walking down to give him a hug.

"You did amazing, but I think there is someone here to see you." He told her as he pulled back from the hug. When Optimus stepped forward Anna's smile dropped and her eyes widened in shock before she smiled again and ran forward into Optimus's arms.

"Daddy!" She squealed happily. Optimus picked her up holding her close.

"Hello, my spark. I have missed you." He mumbled holding her tightly.

"I missed you too! Are you staying?" She pulled back to look at him. He nodded still holding her.

"Yes, I am not going on another trip like that again." He told her. She smiled and hugged him tightly again. "Shall we sit to watch your sister?" He said.

 **Flashback end... normal pov...**

Amy listened as he told her about coming back and how he had Ratchet take Anna out to the parking lot so he could wait for Amy himself. She nodded against him for a moment just letting the feeling of him holding her sink in.

"You have progressed in my absence." He spoke after a moment. Slowly she unhooked her legs from around him letting them dangle as he still held her against him. He breathed in deeply grateful to hold his daughter closely.

"Yeah, Hide and Ratch have been helping me." She replied after a bit of silence. Setting her down so she could stand in front of him her gripped her shoulders gazing into her eyes.

"I have missed you." He said quietly. She held his gaze for a moment silently searching his eyes before dropping her gaze.

"I missed you too." She mumbled pressing her face into his chest. He hugged her tightly once more before pulling back and taking her hand. Optimus held her hand as they walked out to the parking lot where Ratchet and Anna were waiting. Anna smiled and ran over to hug both Amy and Optimus. Amy smiled hugging her tightly against herself and Optimus.

"I am so happy to be back with my girls." He spoke softly keeping them close. Amy gave a small smile as Anna giggled.

"Let's go home." Anna said before yawning. Amy allowed Optimus to pick up Anna to put her in his truck form before helping Amy in. They headed back to base with Ratchet following behind.

When they pulled in Ironhide stood waiting as the girls slipped out and Optimus transformed immediately kneeling down to be closer with them. Anna nuzzled against his cheek plates Amy just gave a small smile.

"You need Recharge and I mean all of you." Ratchet spoke giving the three of them a stern look. Amy bit her lip and looked away trying to look innocent, Anna giggled ducking her head, Optimus just chuckled.

"Of course Ratchet." He replied. He offered a servo and Anna got on but Amy just winked at him before heading off to her room. He tilted his head to one side as he watched her leave as he stood cradling Anna to his chest plates. "Is she alright?" Optimus turned his gaze to his medic and weapon specialist. The two bots exchanged glances before looking at their Prime.

"We will talk tomorrow. For now go recharge before I sedate you." Ratchet replied. Ironhide smirked knowing the medic would do it. Optimus nodded and headed off to his quarters. Anna snuggled into his chest plates with a tired smile.

"I'm glad you're back." She told him. He smiled down at her.

"Me too my spark."

"May I stay with you tonight?" She pleaded with her puppy eye look, not that she really needed too.

"Of course. Go change into your pajamas. If Amy would like she may as well." Optimus spoke setting Anna down by her door. Anna nodded and headed into her room to find Amy already changed into some black shorts and her hoodie.

"Dad says we can stay with him tonight if we want." Anna said puling out some of her favorite pajamas. Amy smiled.

"You go ahead sweetie. I have some homework to do before bed." Amy told her little sister. "I will go tell him goodnight first though." Amy stepped out of the door to see Prime kneeling by the door.

"Hello sweetspark." He murmured offering a servo, she didn't get on but placed her hands on it. She bit her lip frowning. "Are you alright?" He asked leaning closer to her. She shrugged then forced a smile.

"We can talk later. I just wanted to tell you goodnight." She spoke more softly then he remembered her ever speaking. He gave a single nod before nuzzling into her gently.

"Alright goodnight, Amy." He told her. She nodded and passed Anna as she went back into her room to study. Optimus picked Anna up and laid on his berth allowing them both to sleep for the night.

 **I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!**


	14. He knows

**My new name is CaptainBlue56 just so you all know!**

 **Horses and Giant Robots - *sighs happily* You finally got him back. There were a few times where I wished I could turn into my O.C., go to that universe, and drag him back. But Nightwing isn't that big, soooo... *shrugs***

 **Amy: Nightwing sounds pretty cool. *Shrugs***

 **Anna: Maybe I can meet Nightwing? *Puppy eyes***

 **Amy: *crosses arms* Depends on what she is like.**

 **CaptainBlue56: We shall see what happens. Thank you for the review Horses and Giant Robots!  
**

 **CyberQueen1826 - I enjoyed it immensely, but let's go in order here. The trickle monster was adorable I remember my dad doing that and feeling a little jealous when I got to old and he still did it with my younger siblings. Ratchet and Ironhide are good 'Uncles' if I can say that. The ballets were beautiful. And of course last but not least; that was the most wonderful father/daughter reunion I've ever seen.**

 **CaptainBlue56: Thank you! *Blushes slightly* I am glad you enjoyed it.**

 **Amy: Yeah I guess old Hide and Ratch make good Uncles. *Rolls eyes* Their both stubborn.  
**

 **Anna: I really enjoyed the tickle scene as well! *Giggles***

 **Bee: So round 2? *Grins and runs after a squealing Anna***

 **CaptainBlue56: Be careful!**

 **Amy: *Sighs* At least they are having fun.**

 **Knockout Starscream - That was a great chapter. I enjoyed it very much. Please keep up the good work. And if you need another song how about Never Surrender by Stan Bush? And can't wait to here what your new user name will be your current one is great too. But I know how sometimes you just need a change to spice things up a bit. I've considered changing mine before but decided that I already have my perfect handle after my two favorite transformers Knock Out and Starscream and I've gone by it for so long now that it's become like a part of who I am. Hope you find one that works for you as well as mine works for me.**

 **CaptainBlue56: Thank you very much! I am happy to know you enjoy my work!**

 **Ratchet: Knockout is a good medic, if only he wasn't with the cons. *Heavy sigh***

 **Ironhide: Screamer is alright... For a con.**

 **Bowser22 - Yes! Optimus is back! First of all, thanks for using my suggestion. It was cool to see. Secondly, I love the way you write. I always feel like I know these characters, and just want to give Amy a hug and tell her that she's safe now. I can't though, so digital hugs will have to do. Keep being awesome!**

 **Amy: *Glares at CaptainBlue56* Curveball much? That last chapter threw me for a loop bringing Prime back like that. Give a warning next time.  
**

 **CaptainBlue56: I wanted to see how you would react, stop complaining about it. Besides someone wants to give you a hug.**

 **Amy: *Eyes lite up slightly* REALLY?! This next chapter has me all riled up that I could use one! *Coughs* Umm I mean I wouldn't mind a hug...**

 **The next morning... Amy's pov...**

I woke from a fog and found myself at my desk. I frowned and looked at what I had been working on, it was the sketch of Optimus's truck form with his holoform leaning against it. I groaned quietly as I sat up straight. Sleeping here was going to hurt a lot later. I decided to ignore it for now and take a shower but stopped remembering I had bandages on my wrists.

"I should go ask Ratchet what to do," I told myself. I really didn't want to, I didn't want to hurt them by doing this but it gave me a release.

Growling at myself I would go ask Ratchet what to do, I paused at the door, hoping to be quite enough to not wake Optimus, I opened it silently and making my way out of Optimus's room. Hoping not to wake him or Anna so I wouldn't have to answer any questions.

"Amy?" His voice made me freeze my whole body tensing up. I bit my lip closing my eyes with a silent sigh of defeat. I heard him sit up but didn't stand, I assumed Anna was still asleep with how quiet he spoke. I really didn't want to face him right now. "Is everything alright?" I wasn't going to tell him what I did to myself, I didn't want him to know. So I simply nodded stiffly and quickly left his room before he could say anything more.

I almost ran towards the main room so I could talk to Ratchet as soon as possible but a ped stepped in front of me and I couldn't stop in time, I slid right into it and fell back. Looking up I found Prowl gazing down at me with an unreadable expression.

"Sorry," I mumbled looking away. He and I haven't really gotten close at all the only time was when he was my dance partner. He kneeled down and offered a servo to help me up. I wrapped my arms around a couple of digits allowing him to lift his servo picking me and setting me on my feet. "Thanks," I said releasing his digits.

"Are you damaged?" He asked looking me over. I shook my head as I looked up at him. He frowned more than I remember before standing. "May I escort you to your destination?" I tilted my head but mentally shrugged I didn't see why not.

"Sure, I'm needing to talk with Ratchet," I replied. He nodded and walked beside me till we got to the main room. Ratchet was looking at the monitors.

"Ratchet," Prowl spoke as we got closer. He didn't turn as he replied.

"Yes, Prowl?" He sounded tired and worried.

"Amy is here to see you." Before Prowl finished Ratchet had spun around his optics falling on me filled with worry.

"Are you alright?" He asked kneeling down as he offered a servo. I climbed on carefully before looking at my escort.

"Thank you, Prowl," I told him. He nodded and walked off as Ratchet took me to med bay cradling me to his chest plates.

"Are you okay?" He spoke when we entered the med bay. I shrugged resting my head against him not knowing why I was in such a complicated mood. "Did you..?" He trailed off.

"No, not this time. I was just wanting to take a shower but..." I let my voice fade as I rolled up my sleeves to see the bandages, looking over them I sighed deeply. I was laid on a berth and his holoform was activated before he could do anything besides kneel I wrapped my arms around his waist nuzzling into his chest. His arms wrapped around me protectively. He held me for a few minutes before pulling me up so my face was closer to his and he nuzzled his cheek against mine.

"How about I check your wrists?" He murmured after a moment. I growled slightly nuzzling into his neck. I didn't want to move, he was warm and safe. I was safe here. He pulled back slightly and sat down pulling the medical kit closer, since I didn't let go I was now laying down with my upper body on his lap.

Carefully he pride one of my arms off so he could take off the bandages before doing the other. I kept my face pressed into him as he worked not wanting to look at what I had done feeling I would do it again.

"Sweetspark, will you look at me please?" His voice was soft and tender. Slowly I pulled back and sat up so I could look at him. He was looking at me with a gentle, concerned expression. "You can take a shower as long as you wash these carefully and then come back so I can wrap them again." I looked away, what if I wanted to do it again? What if that knife draws me to grip it tightly and drag it across and make it all worse? I felt a hand on my cheek and he knowingly rubbed his thumb across my cheek as he tilted my head back to look at him. "I am here for you."

"I know, I just don't want to disappoint you if I do it again." I dropped my eyes as I spoke. I felt him shift and he pulled me close as he stood.

"You won't disappoint me, I know it's hard. You can do this. Try not to, when your wrists heal a little I'll show you a trick to help." He explained softly nuzzling his nose against mine. I felt my cheeks start to heat up, what a strange feeling. I nodded slowly when he pulled back. I released the holoform letting it disappear and his real form picked me up. "Now you let me know if you need me." He spoke softly as he walked into the main room.

Ironhide, Jazz, and Prowl were talking to each other along with Optimus. I swallowed hard and looked up at Ratchet. He looked at Optimus before looking back at me.

"He needs to know." He told me gently.

"But Ratchet." I started but he gently cut me off.

"His is your guardian and dad. He is supposed to know." I growled in slight irritation but nodded once. I didn't want him to know but if Ratchet was going to tell him I did not want to be near them when they talked about it.

"Ratchet, Amy. How are you?" Optimus had walked over and greeted. I looked down silently hoping Ratchet would just put me down and not say anything in front of me. He did, thankfully and I quickly walked away.

 **Normal pov...**

Optimus had noticed Ratchet come out of med bay holding Amy and decided to walk over.

"Ratchet, Amy. How are you?" He greeted kindly. He took notice of how Amy looked down rather than at him. Frowning as Ratchet set her down and she was quick to leave the room. He looked back at Ratchet frowning deeply, now he knew something was very wrong.

"Optimus, we need to talk." Ratchet had watched Amy leave the room before turning to his leader. Optimus nodded and followed him back into medbay.

"Ratchet, what is going on?" Optimus asked. He needed to know what was going on with Amy. Ratchet sighed heavily going through all the different ways he could tell Optimus about Amy, none of them seemed like a good way but it had to be done. Looking at Optimus who's faceplates showed nothing but worry and concern, Ratchet's optics misted as he realized how much he had held back.

"O-Optimus, I am at a loss of what to do." He spoke after a moment his voice shaky as he lowered his optics. Optimus grasped his shoulders forcing him to look up.

"Ratchet, I am here. Tell me." He gently ordered his medic. He was very concerned about Amy and his medic.

"A-Amy, h-harms herself." Ratchet choked out. Optimus's face turned into one of shock but seeing as his medic was breaking down he pulled him close into a tight firm hug and that was all it took for the dam to break. Ratchet sobbed, all the stress and hurt he had been holding it was coming out. He couldn't take it, he couldn't hold it in anymore.

"It is alright, Ratchet, I am here." The Prime soothed the medic gently rubbing his back allowing him to let it all out. After Ratchet calmed down enough to pull away from Optimus he rubbed his face and sighed.

"She didn't tell me at first, I had to find out. I am trying to help her, Optimus, but there is only so much I can do." Ratchet explained. "She honestly didn't want anyone to know, but Hide and you know now." Optimus nodded and gripped Ratchets shoulder plate firmly.

"I will be there for her."

"I told her to come back after her shower so I could take care of her wrists." Optimus thought about it for a moment before speaking.

"I will talk with her and bring her after, I want to see the harm she has caused herself."

"Optimus. You must handle that girl with the utmost care." Ratchet told him. "She is very fragile, no matter how much she hides behind her mask."

"I wouldn't treat her any other way," Optimus replied before walking out and heading for his daughter's room.

 **Ironhide's pov...**

I noticed how Amy got tense when Optimus walked over and greeted her and Ratchet. She was set down and made a quick exit from the room. It hurts my spark to know what she does to herself but I will stay strong for her. I followed after her. I transformed when I entered Optimus's quarters and activated my holoform. I knocked on the girl's door, a moment later Anna opened it.

"Hi, Hide!" She greeted smiling brightly at me as she took my hand and pulled me into her room. Amy was pulling out some clothes from her dresser before going to take a shower.

"How are you, Anna?" I asked looking down at her.

"I'm good. I am so happy daddy is back!" She jumped up and down excitedly making me smile softly at her.

"I am glad he is back as well," I replied. "As well as the others, Bulkhead, Prowl and Arcee," I added. She nodded and her smile slowly vanished.

"I am too. I was really worried." She bit her lip, I released a soft low growl. She looked up frowning.

"You don't need to follow Amy's bad habits in biting your lip," I told her gently as I tilted her chin up resting my thumb on her lip. She blushed slightly looking up at me.

"I'll try not to." She giggled when I pulled my hand back. I nodded at her.

"Good, now what are your plans for today?" I asked her.

"I'm not sure. There is no school so maybe Raf and Bee will watch a movie with me." She looked towards the door.

"Well, why don't you go find out sweet spark." I told her with a gentle smile. Before she left she gave me a tight hug and then ran off. I sat down on Amy's bed while I waited for her to be done with her shower. When she finally came out all she wore was some dark blue jeans, a black tank top, her bra strap on her right shoulder was hanging loosely off her shoulder. Her wrists were slightly red along where she had. I swallowed hard, there was a small trail of blood on her left wrist from one that had been bothered too much.

"Need somethin Hide?" She asked running a brush through her hair. A deep frown on her face. I gestured for her to come closer, hesitating a second before walking over and sitting next to me. She tossed her hair back over her shoulder letting it fall on her back getting her tank top wet.

"What are you thinking?" I asked after a minute. She looked at me then gazed at the floor.

"I'm not sure, Hide. I mean I'm glad dad is back but, Ratchet is gonna tell him that I..." She trailed off looking at her wrists. "I didn't mean to Hide. I just was so used to pain not having any drove me slightly crazy." I could almost understand that but it made my spark ache and twist in pain.

"Well, we can think of better ways to help you than this," I told her softly wrapping an arm around her. She nodded.

"Ratchet says when these heal he'll show me a trick to help." She sighed looking up at me. "By now Ratchet would have told Dad and I don't want him to see me now, but Ratchet told me to go see him after my shower." She whimpered slightly. I could tell she just wanted to hide from the world and not let anyone find her.

"It'll be okay. How about I take you?" I offered. Her eyes lit up slightly.

"Would you?" She sounded hopeful.

"Of course. Come on." I stood taking her hand. Before we could take a step toward the door I heard familiar footsteps enter Optimus's room and then transforming. I glanced at Amy and her face was a mix of emotions and she pulled back but I held her hand firmly although I did allow her to sit back down. There was a firm knock on her door.

"Come in, Prime," I called.

 **Normal pov...**

Amy looked over as Optimus opened the door and stepped in, his eyes held nothing but worry and concern, lots of concern. Ironhide looked at Optimus's face as he walked over to Amy, who dropped her gaze. Optimus glanced at Ironhide who nodded once before releasing Amy's hand and leaving the room so Optimus could talk with his daughter.

"Amy." His voice was calm and soothing and it made tears well up in Amy's eyes. He kneeled down in front of her, forcing her to look away so she wouldn't have to look at him. "Sweetspark, please. Can you explain why?" He asked softly.

"B-Because dad I need to do something!" She cried looking at him as tears streamed down her cheeks. "I-I have to f-feel something, anything!"

"Why, sweet spark? Why do you have to hurt yourself for this?" He begged her as he took a hold of her hands.

"C-Cuz they hurt m-me for s-so long i-in many d-different ways and n-now that I-I don't h-have th-that pain i-it feels like I-I'm missing something." She took a long shaky breath looking at her wrists. "Wh-when th-they did that s-stuff I knew I-I was alive cuz It m-made me f-feel pain and wh-when I can't f-feel something else i-it is a r-relief to feel a-anything, e-even i-if it's p-pain." She explained through her tears. Now Optimus understood but it still broke his spark. His daughter feels like she needs the pain to remind her how to feel, to remind her she is still alive.

"I'm here now my sparklet. I'm here, I will help you get through this." He cooed softly sitting beside her as he wrapped his arms around her holding her to his chest. After a moment he started singing softly.

 **I Will Always Return - Spirit Lyrics**

I hear the wind call my name  
The sound that leads me home again  
It sparks up the fire  
A flame that still burns  
To you, I will always return

Amy let her tears go till no more came before she simply sat there letting Optimus hold her, his voice was soft and soothing as he sang his promise to her. He may leave again but he will always return to her. He will always come home to his girls.

I know the road is long but where you are is home  
Wherever you stay  
I'll find the way  
I'll run like the river, I'll follow the sun  
I'll fly like an eagle to where I belong  
I can't stand the distance  
I can't dream alone

Careful to not move to fast or startle her, Optimus carefully picked her up and set her on his lap before wrapping his arms around her waist gently nuzzling into her still damp hair. He breathed in deeply before continuing to sing with the thought of her hair that smelled of strawberries.

I can't wait to see you

Yes I'm on my way home  
Now I know it's true  
My every road leads to you  
And in the hour of darkness  
Your light gets me through  
You run like the river  
You shine like the sun  
You fly like an eagle  
You are the one  
I've seen every sunset  
And with all that I've learned  
Oh, it's to you I will always, always return

For a long while, after the song ended, Optimus just held her close and spoke soothing words to her very softly as he nuzzled into her hair. She had needed him and he wasn't here. It made him feel guilty but he pushed that aside, he was here now. Now he could keep an eye on his daughter and make sure she knew that all of them cared for her and that she wasn't alone.

"Hey, dad?" Her soft voice brought him out of his thoughts, he looked down at her.

"Yes, Amy?"

"Can we not tell Anna and the others?" She asked. Debating on it, if she didn't do it anymore there would be no point in telling them but if she was to do it again and he wasn't around he would need someone to watch her if Ratchet and Ironhide were also busy. Anna although did not need to know.

"Amy, my spark. I know this will be hard but if you can't promise me that you won't do it again then the others need to know so they can keep an optic on you. In case I am not available." He kept his voice soft and soothing. "We do not need to tell Anna if you do not want to." He added gently. She sighed softly but didn't reply.

"When do you have to tell them?" She asked looking down.

"I will tell them in this afternoons meeting my spark. You may attend if you wish." He told her.

"No, thank you. I don't like being in the room when I am the topic." She replied. He nodded in understanding.

"Alright my spark, I think its time I get you to Ratchet so he can wrap these," Optimus spoke ever so softly gently holding the back of her wrist. She didn't answer just rested her head on his shoulder. Smiling softly Optimus intercommed Ratchet to come to Amy's room to take care of her wrists. A few minutes later his holoform came in with his medical kit.

"Hello, my spark." He spoke softly as he walked over and kneeled down in front of them.

"Hey, Ratch." She spoke quietly offering him her wrists willingly. Taking his time, Ratchet checked over and wrapped both of her wrists before taking her hands just to simply hold them. Optimus smiled at his medic. "Thank you, Ratchet," Amy spoke again breaking the silence.

"You are welcome." He replied smiling gently at her.

"So, when did you start ballet?" Optimus asked. Biting her lip, Amy looked away not wanting to answer. Ratchet frowned.

"From what Ironhide told me, it wasn't long after you left." Ratchet replied. Optimus frowned deeply.

"That means you, my dear young one, started ballet before your knee was healed." He said tilting her chin so she would look at him. "May I ask why?"

"Dad, I already went through this with Hide." She growled quietly giving him a slightly irritated look. He paused to debate what to do if Ironhide had already taken care of the issue there was no need to discuss it further.

"Alright my spark. What would you like to do today?" He asked softly.

"I have to go shopping." She replied with a small sigh. Christmas was around the corner and she wasn't ready. "You should spend time with Anna. She missed you a lot. I'm gonna drag Ironhide with me." She added standing. Ratchet stepped back to give her room.

"Alright, be safe," Optimus told her.

"Call if you need us," Ratchet added. Amy nodded and gave both of them a quick hug before running off to find Ironhide while she slipped her hoodie on.

 **Amy's pov...**

After shopping and putting everything away I sat at my desk to sketch. while planning out Christmas. I doubt the bots know about it, wait, no Anna has probably told them never mind. So I don't know what to expect with them, I don't even know how to act around them all. My mind went blank as I focused on detailing the sketch of Ratchet working in medbay, he was standing holding a wrench with a thoughtful stern look on his face, his optics held pain, sadness, with a glimmer of hope. When I finished I set it in my bottom right drawer with the rest of the bot sketches I've done and pulled out a notebook.

Dear blank sheet of paper,

Christmas is in like 8 days and I have no clue what to expect, I want to decorate and give Anna all she could ever ask for. I want to do so much but I can't do it all but I don't want to ask for help. I know the bots would be happy to help... I think. But I am not sure I want them too. Bee is already taking Anna's heart from me. What am I supposed to do? Step back and let it happen?

I am glad dad is back, but I do not know how to adjust to him being back now. I want to be with him but it just feels different than before he left. I had barely gotten used to touch when he left and now that he's back I am more comfortable with it but I can only do it for so long. I want to be held and loved and cared for but I don't know how to accept it when someone gives it.

So, I think I will break out the Christmas decorations and have Anna, Raf, Miko, and Jack help after the movie they were watching. So thank you for listening not so blank sheet of paper.

I folding the paper up and set it aside before standing. Taking a breath I headed to the main room. I stepped into the main room. Ratchet, Ironhide, Optimus, and Bulkhead were taking together by the monitors. Prowl and Jazz were talking quietly together Jazz was smirking. Bee and Arcee were standing near the platform watching the movie with the kids.

Who did I want to talk with? I walked to the platform and leaned against the rail. They were almost done watching Toy Story 3.

"Hey, Amy." Arcee greeted.

"Hey. How are you?" I replied looking over.

"Better now that I am well rested. Not looking forward to the meeting, They are usually long and boring, thanks to Prowl." She smiled glancing over at said bot. Something flashed in her optics I couldn't tell what it was.

"Yeah, I was never a big fan of meetings either," I told her. I looked back at the movie and the end credits were rolling.

"That was a great movie! Oh hey, Amy." Miko smiled at me.

"Hey, Miko. Haven't seen you in a little while."

"Yeah, sorry. I will be over much more often now that Bulk is back." She said sending a smile to her guardian.

"Me too," Jack commented.

"I think its meeting time." Bee piped in. I looked over and all the bots were heading down the hallway. Dad met my eyes and gave me a small smile. I sighed and watched them all go.

"So, now what?" Raf asked.

"Well, we could decorate," I replied shrugging then looked away.

"Really?" Anna squealed. I nodded and the others followed Anna and me to our room where I had all the decorations. Happily, all the backs and boxes were dumped out and in no time our bedroom was red, green, and silver.

"Can we use the rest to decorate the platform?" Raf asked.

"That is what it's for," I told him gently smiling softly at him. With that, we carried the rest to the platform. we wrapped the railing with green garland and red ribbons, and tinsel. It was rather nice to do it all.

"So what should we do now?" Raf asked. Anna giggled.

"Dad said he was gonna take me shopping after the meeting." I raised an eyebrow at her. I just went shopping. She just smiled at me.

"Bee said he'd take me racing," Raf spoke again after a moment.

"Arcee and I are going to go scouting." Jack piped in. I looked at Miko.

"Oh, Bulk and I are going to a truck rally." She smirked. "I'm excited to spend some time with him." I nodded and soon everyone parted ways. I wasn't sure what to do with anyone so I went to my room to get the Christmas presents ready for each of the bots and Anna.

I wanted to make this first Christmas free from 'him' a very special one. I was going to make it extra special for her no matter what...

 **Anna's pov...**

Dad was driving me to the store to do some shopping. Last night we had stayed up late, not that either of us would tell Ratchet, talking about Christmas. Growing up Amy would always make sure I got something and made it as special as she could for me. She never did anything for herself. Dad and I decided to change that and make this year the best Christmas ever!

"Where are your thoughts my little one?" He asked softly. I smiled at his holoform. He was so nice and gentle.

"I'm thinking about surprising Amy for Christmas. Although I don't know if she likes big parties. She has always been more of..." I trailed off. To me, she was always the silent protector that hid in the shadows and only came out when she had to. She wasn't one to seek attention, she only got it when on stage and I wasn't even sure if she liked that.

"Closed off?" Dad offered. I nodded.

"Yeah, a lot more closed off. She does like a good mystery though. I know that about her." I replied. I wish I knew her better than this.

"We can make that work to our advantage." Optimus smiled brightly with a sparkle in his eye. I giggled this was going to be fun.

* * *

 **CaptainBlue56: *Sighs heavily* What am I to do?!Life just threw a curball at me and is making things rather difficult. Please bare with me if my updates take a while. *Rubs face tiredly* Please leave a review and an idea of what you think would be a good Christmas present for each bot.  
**


	15. Christmas

**CaptainBlue56: I am still here. Not gonna do reviews this chapter but will get back to them next chapter.**

 **Normal pov...**

She noticed the glances she got after the meeting, the meeting where Optimus told them about what she did to herself. Now she was hardly ever left alone and it bothered her slightly. She was used to having time alone or with Anna no one else. It was mainly with Optimus or Ratchet thankfully for her. Ironhide was rough every time she even bit her lip. Prowl was usually in his office. Bulkhead and Miko hung out with her for a little while. She did have a good not necessarily talk with Arcee but they sat in comfortable silence in her room sketching. Arcee had asked Amy to teach her how to so she sat with her own sketch pad on Amy's bed and they sketched together. It was rather nice to have another female around.

Sitting in the main room with Anna, Raf, Miko, and Jack, Amy noticed the glances she got from Bee and Jazz who were talking quietly in a corner. Letting out a silent sigh she stood and left the main room not wanting to be the main topic of any conversation. Coming into the training room she heard a couple of bots coming behind her. Looking over her shoulder as they came in.

Jazz didn't say anything came in with Bee. They both had serious expressions on their faces, something very uncommon for them. Looking up startled when they transformed in lightning speed and their holoforms came closer. Feeling her body tense she stepped back.

"Easy, Amy, It's just us." Jazz spoke softly.

"What is it Jazz?" She asked breathing deeply.

"We wanted to help you see something. Something that might be able to help you." Bee replied.

"And that something is?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"Love dear spark. You are loved. We love you." Jazz told her. She frowned she thought she knew that already. Then Jazz started to sing.

 **Ne-Yo - Let me love you (Requested by CyberQueen1826)**

Jazz -

Much as you blame yourself, you can't be blamed for the way that you feel  
Had no example of a love that was even remotely real  
How can you understand something that you never had  
Ooh baby if you let me, I can help you out with all of that

Taking her hand he spun her around. For her, it was easier to understand things through song and dance.

Jazz and Bee -

Girl let me love you  
And I will love you  
Until you learn to love yourself  
Girl let me love you  
And all your trouble  
Don't be afraid, girl let me help  
Girl let me love you  
And I will love you  
Until you learn to love yourself  
Girl let me love you  
A heart of numbness gets brought to life  
I'll take you there

(Jazz and Bee alternate here.)

Girl let me love you  
Girl let me love you, baby, oh  
Girl let me love you  
Girl let me love you baby  
Girl let me love you  
Let me love you, let me love you, oh

Bee -

I can see the pain behind your eyes  
It's been there for quite a while  
I just wanna be the one to remind you what it is to smile  
I would like to show you what true love can really do

Jazz and Bee Alternating.

Girl let me love you  
And I will love you  
Until you learn to love yourself  
Girl let me love you  
And all your trouble  
Don't be afraid, girl let me help  
Girl let me love you  
And I will love you  
Until you learn to love yourself  
Girl let me love you  
A heart of numbness gets brought to life  
I'll take you there

Girl let me love you baby  
Girl let me love you  
Let me love you, let me love you baby  
Girl let me love you  
Girl let me love you baby  
Girl let me love you  
Let me love you, girl let me love you baby

For every heart that beats  
For every heart that beats  
For every heart that beats  
For every heart that beats  
Heart that beats  
Heart that beats  
Heart that beats  
Heart that beats

Girl let me love you  
And I will love you  
Until you learn to love yourself  
Girl let me love you  
And all your trouble  
Don't be afraid, girl let me help  
Girl let me love you  
And I will love you  
Until you learn to love yourself  
Girl let me love you  
A heart of numbness gets brought to life  
I'll take you there

Girl let me love you  
Let me love you, baby, love you baby  
Girl let me love you  
Let me love you, baby, love you baby

Bee scooped her up into his arms suddenly, earning a small surprised squeak from her. She looked at him wide-eyed, her arms wrapped around his neck, her whole body tense.

"Relax. You are safe. You are loved. You are not alone." Bee spoke softly to her. Glancing over at Jazz as he stepped closer wrapping his arms around her with Bee's so they were both holding her. Confused as to what the purpose of this. She looked at her Brother and music teacher. She wanted to relax but her body remained tense and on guard just in case.

"Amy, we don't want you to hurt yourself." Bee started.

"So we came up with an idea." Jazz added.

"Instead of using a knife use a Sharpe or pen, draw instead of carving," Bee spoke again.

"That's what Ratchet said. He told me to write names so I wouldn't want to hurt them by hurting myself." She replied.

"That's a great idea, let's write all our names down and draw around them." Jazz sounded excited.

"We can try." She paused. "Wanna help me?" She asked. Smiling brightly they set her down and the three headed to her room. Once they had all the sharpes and were sitting on Amy's bed, Bee took one arm while Jazz took the other. Saying each name of everyone while writing them down so they got everyone on either arm.

Soon both her arms were covered in names and filled in with color. The three of them laid down on her bed tired from the day they soon fell asleep.

Amy could make it through the next few days with Jazz and Bee providing distractions although Jazz told her he was going to pull out from being a music teacher when they found a new one. It made her sad but she understood.

Soon it would be Christmas day, the first Christmas with the bots. Her first free Christmas.

 **Amy's pov...**

"AMY!" Anna squealed with glee jumping on my bed was what I woke up too. I groaned and pulled the blanket over my head. "Amy! Get up it's Christmas!" She giggled shaking me.

"Sleep." My voice was muffled by my pillow and blankets.

"Come on we have presents!" She shook me harder. "Get up it's Christmas!" She laughed.

"I know. I was up late hiding the bots presents and leaving hints on their doors." I replied shoving the blankets off my head. I had stayed up later than normal and hid each present for each bot in different places and left a note with a hint taped to their doors. That is how I liked to do things.

"But Amy, we have presents!" I looked up at her smiling face before sitting up and taking a glance around the room. There were presents on each of our desks and a ribbon tied to the door nob leading out of the room. I rubbed my face I was tired.

"Well, I guess we can let them sit there for a while," I told her and flopped back down.

"Amy!" She knew I was teasing and jumped onto me I looked up at her and smiled. She was still my little girl. She laid down on top of me and cuddled with me for a while, I soaked it all in, enjoying her closeness. "Can we open our presents now?"

"I don't know, is there a note?" I was so tired. She got up, walking to her desk and she picked up a note.

"Dear Anna, You are a very sweet little sparklet and we wish you a very merry Christmas. Open when you wake up. We love you, from the Autobots." Anna read giggling at her nickname. "Get up and open your presents!" She told me as she took one of her own. Slowly I got up and went to my desk, I sat down and took the note.

Dear Amy,

I know things have been difficult lately with everything and we wanted to make this day special for you. Please Enjoy your first Christmas with us. We all love you dear spark. Open your gifts when you wake up. We love you from the Autobots.

I smiled a little and took one of the boxes and started to open it.

In the main room... Normal pov...

"Did anyone else get a note on da door dis morning?" Jazz asked. He had a note left on his door with a hint on it.

"I did." Prowl replied with a slight frown. He wasn't sure how to react to it.

"I believe Amy prefers a good mystery than just outright handing gifts out," Optimus spoke. "You all have permission to follow the hint and find your presents." With that, they all departed to find their presents

When they had all found the gifts it left a smile on their faceplates. The gifts from Amy:

Ratchet got a new wrench set, with polishing for them and some of them had sketches on them. he found them on his desk in medbay

Ironhide received cannon cleaning supplies and one of the cannons had been sketched on as well in cool designs. they were in the training room.

Prowl got some new organizer equipment for his office some of which had nice calming sketch designs on them. found in his office.

Jazz received CDs and DVD's with all the music class performances from regular class times and other performances. he had to go up the top of the silo.

Arcee a decal for each side of her bike. she had to go see Jack to receive them.

Bumblebee got a red nose and antlers for when he was in car form and some silly string and a single pass for a racing derby with other cars. They were hidden in his room

Bulkhead received tickets to an amazing truck rally for him and Miko. Found at Miko's house

Optimus received a book, filled with sketches of him and his team with simple notes next to each one. He found it under his desk in his room.

Anna simply set all their gifts on the platform with name tags on them for each bot.

Each got a cute decoration for the inside of their vehicle mode, hand made. Except for Arcee, they all could hang them from the review mirror.

Arcee got handlebar decorations made from string, glitter, and stickers.

Ratchet got some wrenches, very pink and glittery wrenches.

Ironhide had to do a double take at the guns that were a bright blue with a saying on the side. "Don't mess with my girl's or you get the guns."

Jazz smiled at the music notes in red.

Bee chirped happily at his small race cars and a cute little bumblebee.

Bulkhead got some small monster trucks the size of the small dice one would hang in their place.

Prowl received dog tags that said. "We serve. We protect. We are 9-1-1."

Optimus Got a card with a string so he could hang it. there was a sketch of him, Anna and Amy in it. It read. "Roses may be red, Violets may be Blue but nowhere in the world would I want to go without you."

With Amy and Anna...still normal pov...

Anna was happily looking over the new gifts she had received. She got a new smartphone with a cute pink case with ballerinas on it, a new iPod with headphones, a few new outfits, a new remote control car that looked like Bumblebee, Several Disney and Pixar movies with popcorn and movie snacks for a movie night.

Amy received a new phone as well, her case had music notes and a violin on it. She also got a new laptop so they didn't have to share, headphones came with it along with an iPod, new radio with several cd's, some were skillet and Linkin Park. A new pair of black combat boots came with a brand new name brand leather jacket and two new motorcycle helmets.

They each got new outfits as well. One of them had a note that said: "Wear today." So they both changed into them.

After changing, Anna into the new outfit, pink thick fleece leggings with a long sleeve, thick, light blue shirt, with thick winter boots. Amy pulled on her new blue winter leggings, a black turtle neck, and winter boots. After they were dressed the girls headed to follow the red ribbon.

The ribbon leads them to the main room where Ratchet, Optimus, Prowl, and Jazz were when the girls walked in. Anna giggled and ran over twirling in front of Optimus.

"Well hello my sparklet, don't you look lovely." Optimus smiled kneeling down offering a servo. Anna climbed on as Amy walked up. "Hello sweetspark, Merry Christmas." He spoke softly.

"Merry Christmas guys," Amy said looking up at the other three.

"To you as well, Thank you for the gift it means a lot." Prowl replied.

"Yes, thank you." Jazz grinned.

"You're welcome," Amy replied walking over to Ratchet who kneeled and offered a servo allowing her to climb on before he stood back up. Anna, being cradled by her dad while Amy was held by Ratchet.

"How much do you like surprises?" Optimus asked. Anna's eyes lit up, Amy frowned.

"You have a surprise?" Anna asked looking up at him happily. He nodded and looked over at Amy, who just shrugged looking up at Ratchet, who smiled at her tenderly.

"I'll go grab de orders. Ya comin Prowler?" Jazz smirked at the SIC.

"My name is Prowl." He corrected but followed anyway.

"What's the surprise?" Anna asked making Optimus smile.

"If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise anymore." He chuckled.

"But if you tell me I'll still act surprised." She pleaded with her puppy eyes. Amy smirked at her sister, as Optimus paused looking at Anna's face.

"You little snarky sparkling." He murmured softly lifting her to his faceplates making her giggle as she wrapped her arms around his faceplates.

 **Anna's pov...**

I thought I could get daddy to tell me what the surprise was but he didn't fall for my puppy eyes. I didn't mind as I hugged him, I was happy to just be with him. I looked over at Amy, she seemed okay being held by Ratchet, but I knew she wasn't crazy about surprises.

"Hey, Amy? Any guess?" I asked her. She looked over with a hesitant thoughtful expression. I had no idea what they had in store for us. What they gave me was more then I dreamed of.

"No clue." She finally replied. Ratchet smiled at her softly.

"You will find out soon enough, in the meantime, you both should put these on." Ratchet spoke pointing to a couple of bags on the platform couch. I gave a confused face, what for?

"How come?" I asked. He looked over and winked at me.

"You will find out," Dad spoke. "In the meantime go put those on." He put me on the platform Ratchet doing the same with Amy. I watched Amy who was frowning slightly as she pulled out winter coats for her and me along with gloves and hats.

I pulled on the stuff before looking over the colors, they were pink and light blue. When I put on everything but the gloves I looked over at Amy. She was dressed in Purple and blue.

"I think we are going somewhere cold." She stated I couldn't help but laugh at that. Ratchet chuckled.

 **Amy's pov...**

These clothes were thick and made me really warm as we stood there. Then I heard the sound of vehicles entering the base and watched as Arcee, Bulkhead, and Bumblebee came in. Letting out Jack, Miko, and Raf before transforming. they were also dressed in warm clothes. Miko ran over as Anna and I came down the stairs.

"Thank you for the tickets." She said smiling at me.

"You're welcome, Miko," I replied. Raf walked over to Anna and they talked quietly. Soon everyone was in the main room.

"Are you ready for your surprise?" Optimus asked. I looked over at Anna started jumping up and down.

"Yes! I am ready!" She giggled. I raised an eyebrow as Ratchet activated the ground bridge. Optimus was first to head through. Anna running off with Raf and Bee following close behind. Miko looked at me and tilted her head slightly so I walked with her through the ground bridge.

As soon as we stepped through everything around us was covered in white, it was falling from the sky all around us. I looked over to see Anna and Raf running around squealing with delight as Bee's holoform chased them around. The bots had transformed and were now in their holoforms standing around.

"Have you ever seen snow in person before?" Miko asked slowly. Staring at it I shook my head. "Come on. I'll show you." She slowly slipped her hand into mine and gently pulled. Swallowing hard I followed a bit before she stopped. I slipped my gloves on and watched as she started piling up the snow.

"What are you doing?" I asked. She smiled.

"We. Are making a snowman." She told me. I nodded and started to help it was confusing at first but soon I understood. And before long we had a ton of snowmen around thanks to the bots.

"Amy! Look what I can do!" Anna was laughing running over as I stood.

"What can you do?" I asked smiling slightly. She grabbed my hand and pulled me to a place where no one had walked on the snow yet, then she turned around and flopped down. I watched as she moved her arms and legs before carefully standing up. "It's a snow angel. Bee showed me how." She explained.

"Would you like to try?" Bee asked walking over. I looked from the snow angel to Bee and bit my lip. I guess it wouldn't hurt.

"Will you... Teach me?" I asked softly. He nodded and pulled me along. After a few minutes, Bee and I had made several snow angels. We stood looking at them when I was hit in the back by something. Spinning around Miko was laughing holding snow in her hand shaped like a ball, Bulkhead snickering beside her.

"Did you just?" I started staring at her.

"Snowball fight!" She shouted throwing a snowball at me. Ducking out of the way I reached down and grabbed some snow, packing it together I returned fire and soon it was all out snowball war. Everyone for themselves. Snowballs coming from all different directions soon barricades were built and forts to hide behind.

Soon it was two teams facing off with a couple of referees or just people not wanting to participate. Optimus, Bulkhead, Anna, Miko, and Ironhide ended up on one team while Raf, Bumblebee, Jazz, Arcee, Jack, and I were on the other team. Ratchet and Prowl just stood watching seeming to not want to look undignified. Seeing Ironhide standing with Ratchet talking about something while taking a short break, I had a brilliant idea. I grabbed as much snow in my hands as I ran behind Hide, I jumped up dumping it on his head.

"Snow crown!" I called as I landed and bolted off. Ratchet started laughing outright, I glanced over my shoulder and saw the priceless face Ironhide showed before he took off after me. I ran around Jazz trying to avoid Hide. Jazz chuckled as he threw a snowball at Prowl who was still just standing there. I ran behind Prowl as Hide came closer.

"Get over here." He growled playfully. I smirked and threw a snowball at him hitting him in the chest before ducking behind Prowl again. I peeked out to see Hide but he was gone, immediately on guard, I looked around and was tackled from behind down into the snow. I let out an undignified squeak as I landed in the snow turned around so I was on my back. Looking up wide-eyed Hide was breathing deeply looking down at me. Everything stopped. My body seemed to freeze, the position was well known to me, unfortunately, my mind screamed to fight, but my heart said to wait. So I stayed still as we stared at each other for a moment.

"You put snow on my head." He started slowly. I nodded once. "Why?" He breathed out. I smirked grabbed a handful of snow and shoved it down the back of his shirt making him twist and roll off trying to get it out with a grunt and growl. I laughed as I sat up only for the snow to be shoved down the back of my coat. I yelped and shot up trying to get it out as I spun around to see Miko smirking. With a playful growl, I ran after her. She was so going to get it. I jumped and tackled her carefully before we rolled around in the snow, shoving it down each others coats. Soon we both just laid on the ground breathing deeply. Bulkhead chuckled looking down at us.

"That was fun." She gasped. Ratchet came over and looked down at us.

"Are you two alright?" He asked. I gave a lousy thumbs up. Miko laughed. "Alright well, it is just about time to head back to base." He told us offering a hand. I took it and let him help me up as Bulkhead helped Miko. I looked around for Anna and Raf and found them with Bee and Optimus. With them, insight, we headed back to base. everyone was covered in snow. I knew we needed to get changed before we could get sick.

"Come on guys, we need to go dry off and change," I told them gently. Jack, Raf, Miko, and Anna nodded and we went to our room taking turns changing in the bathroom. I let Miko borrow some of my clothes, while Raf and Jack had brought a spare outfit.

"So, are you going to do that thing you mentioned before?" Anna asked. I looked at her trying to remember what I said. "A performance for the bots. As a Christmas present." She gently reminded me. I had mentioned it as an idea but I wasn't sure about doing it. I could do it but have someone record it then give it to the bots.

"You would be great," Jack commented.

"I have an idea!" Miko said.

"What's up?" I asked.

"If you don't want to see them watching wear a blindfold." She stated. I blinked that was a good idea but I wasn't sure. "How about we do a practice round first before you do it for them?" She suggested.

"I guess, that could work," I replied slowly. So I was dragged with my violin to the training room. Having changed I now wore simple black leggings and a purple tank top. My wrists were still colored brightly hiding all the scars. thankfully none of the others said anything about it.

"Are you ready?" She asked smirking. Something was up I could tell but I played along with it. She tied a blindfold over my eyes.

"Yeah, I think so," I replied and readied my violin. Pulling the bow across the string and swinging into a twirl before I started to sing.

 **Normal pov...**

Little did Amy know as soon as she started the bots had stepped into the doorway to watch.

 **Barlow Girl- Never Alone (Requested by Horses and Giant Robots)**

I waited for you today  
But you didn't show, no no no  
I needed you today  
So where did you go?

You told me to call  
Said you'd be there  
And though I haven't seen you  
Are you still there?

Waiting for so long for somewhere safe, someone who could save her. Are they really here? Are they really here to stay with her? Even though she cannot always see them she wants to always feel them.

I cried out with no reply  
And I can't feel you by my side  
So I'll hold tight to what I know  
You're here, and I'm never alone

No longer alone, no longer having to fight for her life, she is left to her life that she never had before. How can she live when she was never leaving before? She didn't know how to live without the fight for her life.

And though I can not see you  
And I can't explain why  
Such a deep, deep reassurance  
You've placed in my life

Whoa, we cannot separate  
'Cause you're part of me  
And though you're invisible  
I'll trust the unseen

He will always be there for her, he will do all in his power to stay and protect her. When the war ends he will stay with her. No longer will she be alone, he will always be there even when she cannot see him.

I cried out with no reply  
And I can't feel you by my side  
So I'll hold tight to what I know  
You're here, and I'm never alone

We cannot separate  
You're part of me  
And though you're invisible  
I'll trust the unseen

Even when she cannot see him she will believe they are all still there. No longer will she let the pain of the past drag her down, not without one hell of a fight.

I cried out with no reply  
And I can't feel you by my side  
So I'll hold tight to what I know  
You're here, and I'm never alone

Slowly coming to a finish she breathed out and froze it was way to quite. She pulled the blindfold off before turning around and that's when she saw all the bots. They all looked happy.

"Um. Merry Christmas?" I offered.

 **Time skip still normal pov...**

Optimus went in to tuck his girls into bed with a gift he wanted to give in person. Anna was sitting on her bed waiting for him with a bright tired smile. Amy came out of the kitchen and sat on her bed.

"I have something for you girls." He spoke softly. He gave a small box to Anna then stood and walked over to Amy to give her one as well. Opening up the box they each found a small locket on a necklace chain. Amy tilted her head as she opened it she smiled brightly as she saw the Autobot symbol in it with the words. "You are my candle in the rain"

"Forever my princess even after you grow up" Anna read out loud a big smile on her face. Amy smiled and allowed Optimus to tuck her in.

A very awesome Christmas she thought as she drifted off to sleep.


End file.
